Frankenstein vs Giant Octopus

Guess who wins?

This is an alternate ending from the 1965 Japanese B classic Frankenstein Conquers the World (Frankenstein vs Baragon), and it is predictably schlocky, amusing and poignant. I always cried when the monster died in these old movies, even if it wasn’t a Harryhausen.

But I still have no idea why Frankenstein grew to enormous size, nor how that Giant Land Octopus got to the top of Mount Fuji.

the T factor: Blame France!

absolut gaultier, absolut paris, absolut not anywhere near as terrifying as a glimpse of the ultimate horror that bubbles and blasphemes at the center of the universe forever... 

Already this year, Japan‘s embassy in Paris has had to repatriate at least four visitors — including two women who believed their hotel room was being bugged and there was a plot against them…cases include a man convinced he was the French “Sun King”, Louis XIV, and a woman who believed she was being attacked with microwaves…

Ch’yeah, it’s Paris’s fault. Look, I may not be the best example in the world, so don’t look at me (can you believe I just said that?) but lots and lots of people go to Paris every year and don’t end up baying at the moon or invading Russia. It don’t matter what the Journal du Dimanche says, Paris is infuriating, but it does not have quite the same effect as an overnight in Innsmouth. Let’s talk about pre-existing conditions, here.

Around a dozen Japanese tourists a year need psychological treatment after visiting Paris as the reality of unfriendly locals and scruffy streets clashes with their expectations, a newspaper reported on Sunday.

“A third of patients get better immediately, a third suffer relapses and the rest have psychoses,” Yousef Mahmoudia, a psychologist at the Hotel-Dieu hospital, next to Notre Dame cathedral, told the newspaper Journal du Dimanche.

Has anyone considered the possibility that Japan is simply offshoring a lot of unstable people recently?

oooh, somebody forgot her tampon!

typo o’ the day: Queen Elizabeth, Queen bee

via both Fark and Gawker, and I think it’s the beer-drinking nerds who had the wittier commentary (“and boy are her ovaries tired” vs “and now we really want to see that movie”) for once.

Typo o' the decade? On the other hand, she does have four kids. God only knows how many Philip has.

pic o’ the day: hamster pudenda in close association with rainbow toe socks

I have no idea what it says about our society that such a photograph exists. Pray for us.

via Fark.

hamster pudenda dengling in association with rainbow toe socks, click to enlarge if you DARE!

Harry Potter wants YOU!

 Daniel Radcliffe wants you, baby!

This is not the first we’ve heard of the pervy Potter perp. No indeedy, not. A pattern is starting to emerge, one that we should have anticipated from the moment he flung a condom atop Dame Diana Rigg‘s head.

The boy is insatiable!

Several sources agree: first, there was the evidence from Ricky Gervais‘ backstage candid camera, then came a comment casually dropped by Kelly and another dropped by Metro, and now we see that the Ins and Outs post (yeah, that‘s what I’d call ins and outs, too) about Daniel Radcliffe’s Match.com profile has made it to the Top Blogs in WordPress.

That, my friends, is corroboration.

Potter on the prowl