Yep: to make sure we can never, ever live down our most embarassing moments. Here’s what Defamer has to say about this four minute and thirty-two second glimpse straight down the gaping, gibbering maw of Hell itself.
Please, Stanley Kubrick has cast weirder
In 1984, or so the YouTube blurb legend goes, the late, great Stanley Kubrick “placed ads throughout the U.S. for young aspiring actors to send in audition tapes” for his upcoming project, Full Metal Jacket. Whether or not the director ever saw this submission–and we think the less we tell you about it the better–we cannot say.
I can say, though, and I say that if he had seen it, he’d have died right then and there.
Brace yourselves; he went to Juilliard. But then, so did Robin Williams, and I bet he’d make a more plausible Outsider.
There is also an hilarious new video which claims to be the 2006 Brian Atene, also addressing Mister Kubrick (Mister CUE-Brick!) and re-enacting a scene from Full Metal Jacket. It must be seen to be believed: Me so hoooooorny! Me love you longtime!
[...] Stolen from BoingBoing, but I’m sure it’ll be all over in twelve hours. Click here for the original, perhaps the most perfect, and most perfectly amusing, bad audition ever captured on film; the video in this post one claims to be the contemporary, 43-year-old Brian Atene, and it’s just so good that I’m not going to question it even though the fellow looks nothing whatsoever like Brian Atene. [...]
[...] And also Steve Carrell and Stephen Colbert. But me wuvs Brian Atene best of all. Why? Check it out! I may have momentarily gone down six hundred thousand places on Technorati thanks to switching from raincoaster.wordpress.com to raincoaster.com, but I am #1 on Google when you’re looking for a horrific trainwreck of a video audition for Stanley Kubrick (CUE-brick!). It’s really just a matter of time until the G-gle catches on to the second in the series, Brian Atene 2.0: Good Day Mr. Kubrick 2006! [...]
[...] Ever since WordPress switched my URL from raincoaster.wordpress.com to raincoaster.com my hits have walked right off a cliff and straight down a deep well (momentary buoyance provided by Brian Atene and Even Stevphens notwithstanding). I don’t know why this is: have I suddenly become dull? Have I stopped posting? Hell to the no! [...]
[...] You all remember Brian Atene, bad audition posterboy and internet laughingstock for the video he made to convince Stanley Kubrick (CUE-brick) to give him the lead in Full Metal Jacket. Naturally, in a smarmy culture where everyone’s a comedian, it wasn’t long before someone made a series of viciously amusing Brian Atene: the Chubby Years videos to bring us up to speed on our hero. [...]
[...] Here’s the real Brian Atene. He’s alive. He’s not fat. He’s still Over-the-Top and if you liked his cheesy bits here’s more of them. Atene Beat fans are logging onto christopherreeve.org and scooping-up those groovey Superman dogtags. Show support. Go forward! Get tagged and enjoy the unlikely life and madness of Brian Atene. [...]
[...] Holiday, Science Fiction, Fans, Allegory) The hat totally makes the look. Here is the immortal Brian Atene, sending holiday greetings to all on YouTube, in character as General Ursus from Beneath the Planet [...]
Be sure to vote for Brian Atene at webjunk.tv’s VH1′S 40 GREATEST INTERNET SUPERSTARS poll.
http://www.webjunk.tv
I shall. Brian Atene can count on me!
[...] Stanley Kubric auditioner [...]