Yep, another startlingly accurate internet quiz. These things are starting to scare me, actually.
You Are Comet |
 A total daredevil, you’re the reindeer with an edge! Why You’re Naughty: You almost gave Santa a heart attack when you took him sky diving Why You’re Nice: You always make sure the sleigh is going warp speed |
Jesus does indeed have two daddies, and he turned out okay
It’s TRUE! Jesus has two daddies: and a camel-load of cute, in this adorbz video by adorbz Kiwi toddlers, who re-enact the Christmas story with some snazzy costumes, Oscar-quality performances, and the irresistible power of Teh Kyoot.
Oh, this is pure genius, this is. The apparently-demented Ryan Iverson channels Werner Herzog reading that holiday children’s classic, A Visit from St. Nicholas, aka T’was the Night Before Christmas.
Sweet dreams, kiddies!
And now, to your thrice-weekly self-serving gossip links:
Christmas Caroling with GWAR! (raincoaster)
Julian Assange is no Time Lord (Lolebrity)
The most important question of our time (Ayyyy)
Care for a Tumbler? (ManoloFood)
This Christmas, give the gift of Goopy Schadenfreude (AgentBedhead)
Because Thetans are very low in fat and calories (BusyBeeBlogger)
Oh silly Shania, Canada doesn’t have hillbillies! (CeleBitchy)
RIP the only police detective to throw a “Your Favorite 4th Century BC Greek Philosopher” costume party and get away with it (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Ho, ho, ho, and others besides the Kardashians too (GirlsTalkinSmack)
The Curse of 30 Rock strikes again! (HaveUHeard)
The lead cellist was extremely resistant to his suggestion to “bring his A-game” (INeedMyFix)
Take a tour of Jack Black’s colon! (SeriouslyOMG)
Merry Christmas from GWAR. I SAID MERRY CHRISTMAS YOU ASSHOLES!!! YOU THINK I WEAR THIS SANTA HAT FOR MY HEALTH???
I mean, you can KEEP your fucking Scrooge, bitches (even the Bill Murray and Alastair Sim ones), if there’s one entity I’d like to be serenaded by on Christmas Day, it would be the multifarious organism known to terrestrials as GWAR. So here is video through which we can all live vicariously, as GWAR descends upon an unsuspecting suburban neighborhood, successively terrorizing a harmless family, an inflatable Santa, a grandmotherly type, and a soccer mom.
Everybody hates those fucking inflatables. Smug bastards, they are.
Watch. Watch and experience the unique joy of the holiday season as GWAR brings their very special brand of awesome to the celebration of the birth of the Christ Child.
Strangely, it seems even GWAR has self-esteem issues! From the video (just after the buzzsaw attack solo):
“How’d we do?”
“You were awesome!”
“Better than crappy?”
“A LOT better than crappy!”
Yes, Soccer Mom. Yes, they are.
Reindeer are SO 20th Century!
So this may be a weird post, but nonetheless it’s a post that captures the Zeitgeist of right this very second: Kardashians and soul-seeking all on the same page. Actually, I think I’ve spared you Kardashians this time, as I’ve covered actual out-of-the-closet hookers instead.
First, Adult Letters to Santa:
Solitude doesn’t only afflict the elderly, however. “I’m 37 years old and I’ve been deeply unhappy for too long,” one woman wrote this year, in a letter excerpted last week in Montreal’s La Presse. “All I really want for Christmas is to find my soulmate.”
This week, a letter arrived from a soldier-in-training who will be a father for the first time – yes, there are Santa believers on the battlefield. “Dear Santa, I haven’t written to you for a long time. I hope you haven’t forgotten me,” he wrote. “This year for Christmas I ask you nothing more than to give health, happiness and love to my young family.”
Filtered through the missives is a hint that, at a time of shifting religious faith, something of the Christmas spirit exerts a powerful pull on at least some Canadians. Like the middle-aged mother who wrote to Santa to say she was broke, they’re looking for a bit of hope at Christmas.
“Dear Santa, I bet it is a rarity for you to receive a letter from a 50-year-old woman,” she wrote. “This is the first year in my life when I have been unable to give Christmas presents to my family. I am on unemployment this year and my son has not been able to find work. As a mother, it hurts to see my son fighting the frustration of not having work. That would be the gift I would give him if I could this year: A job so he would feel better about himself.”
She said oil in the furnace and saving up for winter tires would have to take priority over gifts. “It has made me rethink Christmas and what it really means to give from the heart.”
Santa, she added, “I am writing to you in the hopes of finding the little girl I lost. You see, no matter how old I get, I know she still exists just as you do. You represent the kindness of a soul who carries himself from home to home in the blink of one night to make wishes come true … most of all you represent the hope that anything is possible. How can I not believe in such magic?”
And now, back to our regular superficial programming:
where the HELL has raincoaster BEEN, man? (raincoaster)
Mr Depp, those clothes have to come off IMMEDIATELY (Ayyyy)
Jon Hamm has a suggestion for you (lolebrity)
Screw that! (ManoloFood)
The world’s greatest horror movie in the works (AgentBedhead)
Justin Timberlake is high-caliber (BusyBeeBlogger)
Mel Gibson sees MUCH younger woman (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Does Julian Assange make your wiki leak? (CeleBitchy)
First couple to fight over eyeliner custody in court (EvilBeet)
Liz Hurley gets the hell out of my way (GirlsTalkinSmack)
Yes, in fact, that IS So Wrong (HaveUHeard)
Look who got the Royal Snub! (INeedMyFix)
John Stamos, recovering nerd (SeriouslyOMG)
raincoaster 