the woolly mammoth rises again!

Woolly Frickin' Mammoth, yo!

So how frickin’ cool is this? There are plans afoot (oh, those scientists! Always up to mischief!) to take the now-discovered-to-be-viable sperm from Woolly Mammoth corpses preserved in the tundra, and use it to impregnate an Asian Elephant, their closest living relative.

Not a particular Asian Elephant. That would be pervy, and more than a little strange. It’s not like they’ve been lying in the permafrost, waiting for some Indian Britney of pachydermic pulchritude to mature before awakening their long-dormant seed, like so many lusty geezers in a home, gathered around the tv, watching Miss Universe.

No, this is, like, way more normal and not at all Jurassic Parkian, oh not in the least. All perfectly safe, they assure us, the scientists.

The scientists whose reputations and fortunes depend upon doing this, regardless of the risks, are quite adamant that it’s not going to be another Jurassic Park in any way, shape or form.

Oh, hold the phone:

A team of Japanese genetic scientists aims to bring woolly mammoths back to life and create a Jurassic Park-style refuge for resurrected species. The effort has garnered new attention as a frozen mammoth is drawing crowds at the 2005 World Exposition in Aichi, Japan…

Their plan: to retrieve sperm from a mammoth frozen in tundra, use it to impregnate an elephant, and then raise the offspring in a safari park in the Siberian wild.

Mammoth herd, how frickin' cool is that?Well, nothing could possibly go wrong with that plan; if the not-really-woolly-but-perhaps-in-need-of-a-good-waxer half-breed herd got loose in the Siberian Tundra, there’s no way they could survive an environme-

Well. Still. Frickin’ cool. Even the Times lost its treasured journalistic objectivity over this one:

Mammoths may roam again after 27,000 years
By Mark Henderson, Science Editor
 
BODIES of extinct Ice Age mammals, such as woolly mammoths, that have been frozen in permafrost for thousands of years may contain viable sperm that could be used to bring them back from the dead, scientists said yesterday.
Research has indicated that mammalian sperm can survive being frozen for much longer than was previously thought, suggesting that it could potentially be recovered from species that have died out.

Several well-preserved mammoth carcasses have been found in the permafrost of Siberia, and scientists estimate that there could be millions more.

Last year a Canadian team demonstrated that it was possible to extract DNA from the specimens, and announced the sequencing of about 1 per cent of the genome of a mammoth that died about 27,000 years ago.

With access to the mammoth’s genetic code, and with frozen sperm recovered from testes, it may be possible to resurrect an animal that is very similar to a mammoth.

The mammoth is a close genetic cousin of the modern Asian elephant, and scientists think that the two may be capable of interbreeding.

The frozen mammoth sperm could be injected into elephant eggs, producing offspring that would be 50 per cent mammoth

“Restoration of extinct species could be possible if male individuals are found in permafrost,” Dr Ogonuki said.

“If sperm of extinct mammalian species, for example the woolly mammoth, can be retrieved from animal bodies that were kept frozen for millions of years in permanent frost, live animals might be restored by injecting them into oocytes [eggs] from females of closely related species.”

Although without question the proud daddy will be disinherited immediately. They’re very old-fashioned, you know.

Mammoth skeleton, unlikely to become a daddy at this point but still frickin' cool!

quote o’ the day: Oscar Wilde on blogging

V“Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.”

— Oscar Wilde

 

welcome to the blogroll: eteraz

I haven’t done one of these in quite awhile. I know, bad raincoaster, BAD girl. But better high time than never, so here goes.

Today we added to the blogroll eteraz, one of the few comments-enabled sites in the world which I read and yet, inconceivably, do not comment.

Except that time I told that one guy I’d poison and beat him, but “not to excess.”

The bitch had it coming.

Anyway, eteraz‘s blog is dedicated to philosophical analysis of current events from an Islamic, humanist perspective. You can read about the man himself here, where you can also learn that People Magazine isn’t the only place girls pick out heartthrobs.

Like we didn’t know that already.

In any case, here’s a sample of the eteraz blog. It’s “email from anonymous female soldier,” and it’s currently about #3 out of all WordPress posts, and although I do not know when it was dated, nor to whom it was originally sent, and thus cannot verify its authenticity, it has the whiff of truth about it and it has the reputation of someone I respect behind it, and so I am posting it here.

Even though I actually disagree with its conclusion.

If the American presence in Iraq increased the death toll so drastically, is it really that hard to imagine that an American absence will result in an overall lower death toll? I’ll refer you back to Ryszard Kapuscinski‘s views on when people revolt and when they are passive, and also to the situation in Afghanistan. It may well be that, invasion having destabilized these countries, the best way through instability to peace and a new, better order, is for the invaders to withdraw and allow the chaotic process to focus on the country itself, rather than on the foreigners. Even if that upsets Dick Cheney.

And no, not just because it upsets Dick Cheney.

She served in Iraq:

If you watched the President’s comments on Monday, you’ll note he blamed the Iraqis for not fighting hard enough for….somethgn they didn’t lose in the first place. Unmentioned was just how many Iraqis have been killed by that something in July: 1,700, according to the Baghdad morgue, compared to a total of 2,600 US soldiers killed. In the first seven months of this year, ten thousand Iraqis have died in the sectarian violence that Bush refuses to call a civil war.

For perspective, consider this: New York, LA, and Baltimore have homicide rates per year of several hundred—I’m not up to date on that, but the last I checked, these cities were horrified when homicides jumped above five hundred a year. At about seven hundred, that would be two murders a day. Compare that with the rate of rapes committed in this country, which occur about every ten minutes or so—-and I know that’s an extremely conservative estimate. Two murders a day is considered a devastating crime wave that shocks the senses. Now imagine fifty plus deaths per day. There is not one family in that country not touched by death or disappearance. While Western reporters get news coverage when they get kidnapped, ordinary Iraqis do not. Fifty deaths a day, and for the past six months.

Now from figures, let’s go to the stuff that Bush and Co really hate: the emotional bullshit that he’s so adept at slinging. The Iraqis have nowhere to go, unlike the soldiers who can escape and go home. The Iraqis are home. Where do they go for relief from combat? Where are their vests, helmets, and guns? How do they live life under those circumstances? People talk about a draft, but what Bush did on Monday was essentially draft the Iraqi population into a war that was forced upon them due to one man’s hubris. Nor did Bush stick to young men and women of military age; the war he has begun and lost control of there makes every Iraqi, young, old, ill, or frail, into a soldier in a war where they have no weapons—and no value. Who treats their PTSD? Who offers them relief from combat stress? Who should?

It’s for this reason that I say that we cannot withdraw from Iraq, not until we have cleaned up the mess we made. The Iraqis right now are not even as safe as our own soldiers: we owe them at least that.

the Stupid Security Awards, from Privacy International

Gotta luv Frank ZappaOooooh, I just know all my friends will be up for this challenge. Privacy International‘s offering a small roundup of awards for stupid security procedures, whether at the high school, the garbage cans, the airport, or just at the border between the US and Manitoba which is patrolled on the US side by armed militiamen, and on the Canadian side by two red cones, which represents, by the way, a doubling of security on Canada‘s part.

Let no man say we don’t take TWAT seriously!

Raise fears, sink hopes, ooops I mean foes

In any case, here’s the scoop on the Stupid Security Awards, and may the stupidest win. Note that it is open to everyone, internationally.

Stupid security has become a global menace. From the airport that this month emptied out a full plane because a passenger was drinking from a lemonade bottle, to the British schools that fingerprint their children to “stop” the theft of library books, to the airline company that refused to allow passengers to bring books or magazines onto the plane, the world has become infested with bumptious administrators competing to hinder or harass us – and often for no good reason whatever.

The sensitive and sensible folk at Privacy International have endured enough of this treatment. So we are running an international competition to discover the world’s most pointless, intrusive, stupid and self-serving security measures.

The “Stupid Security Awards” aim to highlight the absurdities of the security industry. Privacy International’s director, Simon Davies, said his group had taken the initiative because of “innumerable” security initiatives around the world that had absolutely no genuine security benefit. The awards were first staged in 2003 and attracted over 5,000 nominations. This will be the second competition in the series.

“The situation has become ridiculous” said Mr Davies. “Security has become the smokescreen for incompetent and robotic managers the world over”.

Unworkable security practices and illusory security measures do nothing to help issues of real public concern. They only hinder the public, intrude unnecessary into our private lives and often reduce us to the status of cattle.

The airline industry is the most prominent offender, but it is not alone. Consider the UK rail company that banned train-spotters on the grounds of security (e.g. see this article(external). Or the security desk of a US office building that complained because paramedics rushing to attend a heart-attack victim had failed to sign-in. Or the metro company that installed a $20,000 biological weapons/gas detector and placed it openly next to a power plug so terrorists could conveniently unplug the device.

Privacy International is calling for nominations to name and shame the worst offenders. The competition closes on October 31st 2006. The award categories are:

  • Most Egregiously Stupid Award
  • Most Inexplicably Stupid Award
  • Most Annoyingly Stupid Award
  • Most Flagrantly Intrusive Award
  • Most Stupidly Counter Productive Award

The competition will be judged by an international panel of well-known security experts, public policy specialists, privacy advocates and journalists.

The competition is open to anyone from any country. Nominations can be sent to stupidsecurity@privacy.org.

Details of previous award winners can be found below, or at http://www.privacyinternational.org/ssa2003winners.

petting Coulter

Ann Coulter, 45It’s all so sordid. Not content with confusing Canada for Amerika Jr and recommending the proactive execution of American liberals, Metro tells us that everyone’s favorite 45-year-old Republican bottle blonde fake & bake twinkie harridan is smearing the reputation of an innocent 7-year-old, merely by association.

Is nothing sacred?

SFGate has the full report, including Coulter‘s location in a so-called “petting” zoo, plus the graphic proof that Coulter particularly enjoys the use of “toys”.

A follow-up visit shows that the similarities are Coulter enjoys toysplentiful: Both have a long mane of blonde hair and legs that are thin enough to comfortably slip a LiveStrong silicone bracelet on the lower thigh. And whether it’s fair or not, many a liberal blogger has pointed out that Ann Coulter‘s head does have some equine qualities.

Now, that’s not really fair. We all know where the true comparison lies.

Afghann Coulter

Judge for yourself, though:

Coulter, poor Coulter