the ultimate blog posts

TIAThis is a clever strategy to promote your blog: tell anyone who will listen that you were a guest blogger on one of the most popular blogs, and given how pathetic the search boxes are on most of them, corroboration, if it existed, would be impossible to find anyway.

So Wired has done a handy-dandy list of the ultimate blog posts for each of the top blogs, sorta like that time I pitched the Province on the “single welfare foster mom of Aboriginal, dyslexic pit bull orphans wins lottery, gets impregnated by Brad Pitt, steals car from Surrey mall” story, and it shouldn’t be long now until she finally manifests and I can write the damn thing.

Ultimate blog post for raincoaster: Cthulhu rises from Rl’yeh, exposes Stephen Harper as an inhuman Fungi from Yuggoth and destroys him, all slavering right-wingers awake from their mind controlled walking comas, surviving Watergate Plumbers drop dead from the shock, worldwide communal anarchy is declared; the YouTube video (soundtrack by Nine Inch Nails, bonus appearance by the Monkees)

While blogging has only reached prominence in the last few years, it was actually invented by the ancient Romans who built a majestic blog in 200 BC from marble, granite and links they stole from the Greeks.

“Blog” itself is short for “weblog,” which is short for “we blog because we weren’t very popular in high school and we’re trying to gain respect and admiration without actually having to be around people.”

Creating your own blog is about as easy as creating your own urine, and you’re about as likely to find someone else interested in it…


Boing Boing: Crocheted replica of subway map cracks DRM on collection of old video games.

Kottke: Elwin Festerator is the unsung inventor of the curly telephone cord. “I looked at a straight telephone cord, and I asked myself, Elwin, why can’t that be curly? So I went out and got my brand-new curling gun, and I curled the hell out of it.” Related link: New Yorker article on the Olympic curling team.

Daily Kos: Bush caught in three-way with Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh.

Little Green Footballs: Bush enjoys triumphant three-way with Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh.

Gawker: Paris Hilton does pretty much anything.

Cute Overload: A kitten licks a puppy while the puppy licks a bunny.

Fleshbot: Same as Cute Overload, only with coeds.

MAKE blog: How to create a nuclear accelerator using a Flash drive, a Commodore 64 and a guy named Roger.

Metafilter: Unhelpful link text. Extra links added for padding that have little to do with the main topic of the entry. Are extremely loaded rhetorical questions the only thing that can save us now?

It’s a blog, Metafilterites. What do you think?

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