Puppets are evil. Clown puppets are the very DEFINITION of creepy evil.
You know it. Clown puppets are the absolute definition of creepy evil, and monkey clown puppets? There’s absolutely no word in the English language for the concentrated manifestation of evil which this concept represents. See for yourself:
Need some brain bleach? Here are some Gossip Links of Evil over the jump.
It's FRIDAY! Time to peel those scales off your eyes!
If you’ve wondered, along with the rest of the internet, about the root cause of Rebecca Black’s sudden, irresistable stardom, may I suggest a close viewing of the following will clear up all ambiguity.
All ambiguity.
The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far. The sciences, each straining in its own direction, have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the light into the peace and safety of a new dark age.
HP Lovecraft, The Call of Cthulhu
From nearby in the blogosphere comes news that the stars are nigh unto aligned and the glorious new era is upon the threshold. From news sources and historians comes evidence that the allies are preparing, making smooth the way for the return of the Great Old Ones.
From Olde Strasbourg:
This was during the Krakatoa eruption, when Rlyeh briefly surfaced
Yes, the allies from the kings of the jungle even unto the smallest vermin that crawls, unseen yet lathesomely felt, through the teeming maze of our urban decayscapes, have begun to unite in expectation of The Great Rising!
Why is it always Germany? Are their rats particularly activist?
Science shows that, in at lesat some cases, rat kings/crowns have been formed while the attached rats were still alive and growing, indicating strongly that these rats were holy, set apart, and that servant rat classes brought them food and attended to their every sordid bodily need while they awaited the glorious Return of the Great Old Ones.
Evidence (you KNOW we’re all about the evidence around these parts):
rat crown xray is all sciency and irrefutable, so there!
As well-documented in the manuscript known as The Call of Cthulhu, such a pivotal time affects not only the lower orders, but also the sensitives among us, from the most Strindbergian slam poet to the dandies of the Royal Portrait Gallery.
Rat King, the watercolour. Somewhat Twomblyesque, non?
Even innocent embroiderers have had hideous glimpses of the godless Gordian knot:
And in another age, these would have been daisies!
Truly a motif for our time. We can only shudder and whisper horror-struck guesses at the unspeakable, Transformer-like superpowers to be unlocked by a successful unification!
Rat King sculpture, RATTENKONIG! COWER, MORTALS!
Rat King Perfection ACHIEVED unlocking superpowers now
Soon, very soon, Cthulhu will rise again.
Okay, whose job was it to bring the vaseline?
Just as soon as we get this situation straightened out.
Cthulhu Cake
It is a fact universally acknowledged that when Julian Assange marries me, this will be our wedding cake. Cry all you want, jealous losers, it WILL happen. TEH CAKE IS NOT A LIE!
Iz NOT!
Sulk all you want: he stll isn’t going to go out with you.
Our guest list will be exclusive, and we’re really proud to say that we’ve just got an RSVP from a very important celebrity. Not to drop a name, but, well, if you’ve been around you’ll have heard of him. TENTAQUIL!
I, on the other hand, wish I was a Fakemon
Y’all had better start working on your outfits ASAP: this is one wedding with a STRICT dress code.
not everyone can pull off this look, particularly because of the suckers
Top THAT!
Internet Love never works out. Lavalife has a lot to answer for.
Haven’t we all had that experience? The tall, handsome, male charmer online somehow morphs, in between tweeting and meeting, into a stubby, Faces-of-Meth, hermaphroditic, spectrum disorder-having bedwetter. Oh, there may be plenty of fish out there, but YOU try getting one to make conversation over a nice entree.
The Booty Call of Cthulhu
Kate Gosselin will settle for just ANYONE.
Anybody need a stiff drink after that? Apparently I need a Bloody Mary:
You Are a Bloody Mary |
 You’re a fairly serious drinker who’s experimented a lot with different drinks. You know what you like to drink, but you’re not a snob. You’ll drink anything in a pinch. You’re a drunk, but you are a stable drunk. You don’t ever let your drinking get out of control.You’re the one who keeps everyone levelheaded, even if you’ve had the most to drink. |
If you don’t feel like a drink but have been inspired to take quite a different kind of action, here’s the “what kind of toilet user are you” quiz that you didn’t know you were waiting for.
Your Toilet Personality is Social |
 You’ll go anywhere, anytime, with anyone. In fact, you secretly talk on the phone when you’re in your “office.” For you, going to the bathroom is no big deal. And you going shouldn’t be for anyone else either. You don’t mind public restrooms – in fact, you sort of like the energy they bring to the act.When you’re on the toilet, you consider yourself a bit of a performance artist. |
As always, your mileage may vary. And so via natural progression to the celebrity gossip links for today.
Continue reading
raincoaster 