a fellow in a suit explains everything

No, EVERYTHING.

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Too Much Coffee Man, an introduction

TMCM, yo man! 

Reading engtech’s post on his favorite web comics reminded me of my old fave from the deepest, darkest Nineties, Too Much Coffee Man, which I find is now an opera that is packing them in like espresso in a portafilter! TMCM was one of my favorite comics, back when I had a 9-5 or actually it was with Starbucks so it was more like a 5:30am-6:30pm, but whatever, and could afford to buy dead trees.

I am reminded at this juncture of perhaps the most absurd of the various absurdities of working in a cubicle farm. I had a TMCM toque which I treasured for its hip coffeeness and relevance, and I thought it would look cute and edgy sitting on top of my filing cabinet, so that is where I put it.

And every morning it would be on my desk.

At first I thought the cleaners were moving it, although dusting the top of the cabinets every day seemed a bit extreme to me. But after awhile I realized it was happening even when the cleaners had not been in. So I began to test things.

I pinned it to my cube wall. Nothing. I put it on my chair. Nothing. I pinned it on the outside of my doorway: bingo, it was on my desk in the morning.

Turns out that the head of HR didn’t like to see anything poking up above the level of the top of the cubes, nor anything outside the cubes other than slate grey tweed: the only person who could violate this rule was the admittedly artistic and very powerful head of the training department. My boss was staying late every night just to move my toque.

There’s the title of my forthcoming business book, right there:
WHO MOVED MY TOQUE.

Back to TMCM. He would show up in some of the gimme papers in Portland cafes, but the trip to Oregon sort of offset the freebie-ness of the comics themselves, so I had to give it up and start spending fifteen minutes’ pay at the comic shop for the colour issues.

While the title character himself seems to have long since gone to that Great Compost Bucket in the Sky, the comic and the aesthetic and the dream live on.

Oh Solo Espresso!

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5 reasons why I blog

Kid Blogger! The kid has promise. 

I got tagged for the 5 Reasons Why I Blog meme by Jeremy Jacobs, and answering it will be my entry in the engtech Blog Contest #1.

Do you remember when you were in elementary school and in English class once a week they would write five topics on the board and you would have to pick one of the topics and write a story about it? (oh, and also how they would give you lists of all kinds of different words you were supposed to learn {although I always wondered and worried, secretly, that if they knew I already knew those words they would penalize me in some way, so I played dumb. I would rule in a concentration camp!} and then use in a sentence? Well being literalminded-like, I used to use them all in one gargantumungous sentence, the Sentence That Wouldn’t Die!, the Energizer Bunny of sentences, and that used to piss my teachers off no end but they never did tighten up the wording of the assignment, so what’s with that, eh? I ask you) But quite a lot of the time I wouldn’t like any of the story subjects listed and even might have had a story or two that I wanted to write anyway and thought, like any good, lazy person, why should I write two including one I don’t want when I can write one that I do want instead? Indeed.

So, inevitably after every writing-the-titles-on-the-blackboard moment, the teacher would sit at his desk and brace himself for my approach.

“Do you mind if…” I’d always start, and usually it would go smoothly from there.

“What would happen if I said no?” asked Mr. Lindsay once, in a sudden and inexplicable fit of empowerment.

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le grand content

le grand debate, le grand question, le grand video. Powerpoint solves the meaning of life, via Eurotrash-accented art.

I live for this shit.

A Film by Clemens Kogler together with Karo Szmit. Voice by Andre Tschinder.

Le Grand Content examines the omnipresent Powerpoint-culture in search for its philosophical potential. Intersections and diagrams are assembled to form a grand ‘association-chain-massacre’. which challenges itself to answer all questions of the universe and some more. Of course, it totally fails this assignment, but in its failure it still manages to produce some magical nuance and shades between the great topics death, cable tv, emotions and hamsters.

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the rise and fall of William J. Sidis OR What my parents did wrong

Story of MY life too

Well this explains a lot. Ever read someone else’s life story and know that, on some all-you-mortals-look-alike level you were really reading your own biography?

For those of you who don’t know as much about me as I do, I shall provide a brief recap:

  • was reading the Globe and Mail at four
  • used to get up early and watch University of the Air algebra and calculus classes before preschool
  • was nearly put into a school for the mentally retarded at six, because the teachers couldn’t figure out why I was so detached from their lessons on how to spell “cat”
  • at my mother’s insistence was given an IQ test, scoring 136 and sparing myself from a life of institutionalized intellectual lowballing
  • skipped most of primary school in favour of sitting in the library, reading encyclopedias. Got through four editions of the Encyclopedia Brittanica alone, lamenting the lower standards in each one
  • was once frogmarched out of the library to write a math test in Grade Four. Hadn’t attended class all year. Got 98%
  • have been vigorously and repeatedly thrown out of every institution of higher learning in the Lower Mainland including (but not limited to) Vancouver Community College Langara, VCC Kwantlen Richmond, VCC Kwantlen Surrey, University of British Columbia, Simon Fraser University, and although the Open Learning Institute is forbidden by charter to throw anyone out, they did write to me and ask if I’d consider giving it a rest
  • let’s just say I got a work ethic for my 30th birthday, not before.

Now, from the highly marvelous and damn interesting website Damn Interesting, comes this tale of shocking parallels. My parents weren’t New York intellectuals, it’s true, but they were both easily in the genius class and never tired of setting up new hoops for my brain to jump through. How many packs of flash cards they wore out on me only God knows.

In fairness, my mother once said, “Once I’d seen what I’d done with you, I decided to raise your sister differently.” Which may be why my sister has a BMW and a four bedroom house in Crystal Beach.

Now to our story:

The Sidises believed that aggressive curiosity was a quality to be nurtured, so Sarah gave up her career in medicine to dedicate her life to the child’s development. William‘s thirst for knowledge never went unquenched, and by his first birthday– an age when most children are still babbling– he was honing his spelling skills. At one and a half years of age, he was reading the daily newspaper.

As William approached his fifth birthday, his spectacular abilities began to draw the attention of the press. He had taught himself to operate the typewriter from his high chair, tapping out a letter to Macy‘s regarding an order for toys. He had also taken it upon himself to learn Latin, Greek, Russian, French, German, and Hebrew. His appetite for information seemed endless as he easily chewed through weighty tomes such as Gray’s Anatomy and the works of Homer. He entered grammar school at age six, but in just over half a year he had advanced into high school curriculum. His stunning accomplishments soon became a frequent feature on the first page of the New York Times.

However:

William did not live long after that; in the following July his landlady telephoned the police after discovering him unconscious in his Boston apartment. Forty-six year old Sidis had suffered a massive stroke, and he never again regained consciousness. Such was the end of the one-time prodigy who had astonished a Harvard math audience at age eleven; he died a reclusive, penniless office clerk.

Those who knew him in his later life spoke of his conspicuous brilliance and his mastery of over forty languages, but his tangible contributions to society seemed to be relatively few for someone of his talents. Some argue that his parents pushed him too hard in his youth– overexerting his exceptional mind at an early age– and some blame the press for driving him into isolation. There is considerable evidence that William favored the Okamakammesset tribal philosophy of “anonymous contribution”, a principle which implies that one’s value is not measured by one’s visible contributions to society.

Though he probably would not have put much stock in formal measures of intelligence, it is estimated that William Sidis‘s IQ was as high as 300, where 100 is average and over 140 is considered genius. Whatever the reason for his underwhelming output later in life, he was certainly one of the most profoundly gifted human beings who ever lived. There is no telling what William might have accomplished for mathematics and science if only his talents had not been squandered.

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