Category Archives: Allegory

new ‘out of office’ replies

Posted on by

from Raj:

this one works for me

New Out of Office Replies:

1. I am currently away from my desk, beating my head against the wall. Your message will be replied to once I have reached a level of numbness
sufficient to cloud my vision to the point I am able to formulate an appropriate response to your request.

2. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.

3. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.

4. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the
order it was received.

5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

6. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this one is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over).

7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

8. I’ve run away to join a different circus.

9. I will be out of the office for the next two weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as ‘Martha’ instead of ‘Marvin’.

argyleteuthis luxe

Posted on by

Argyleteutheris Luxe

It seems that the common or garden Giant Squid has mutated into this woolly, tree-climbing subspecies. Readers in forested, coastal areas are strongly cautioned to carry an umbrella at all times! As well as the Elder Sign.

From Laura via Squid.us, and sure you can substitute cashmere if you’re really literal-minded.

end inet child abuse: the light a million candles project

Posted on by

From Cold Desert. Pass it along.

The innocent victims of Internet child abuse cannot speak for themselves.

But you can.

With your help, we can eradicate this evil trade.

We do not need your money.

We need you to light a candle of support.

We’re aiming to light at least One Million Candles by December 31, 2006.

This petition will be used to encourage governments, politicians, financial institutions, payment organisations, Internet service providers, technology companies and law enforcement agencies to eradicate the commercial viability of online child abuse.

They have the power to work together. You have the power to get them to take action.
Please light your candle at lightamillioncandles.com.

Together, we can destroy the commercial viability of Internet child abuse sites that are destroying the lives of innocent children.

T3: the greatest action story ever told

Posted on by

I guess it’s religion day on the raincoaster blog. What next, Danish cartoons?

At least it’s pretty much impossible to rile Christians up by making fun of their God; check out what Mad TV and the Terminator have done for the story of Jesus.

didja hear the one about the Jew on the plane?

Posted on by

TerrorcatWell, he got booted off pretty quickly. Looks like Canada is all over that TWAT thing.

In good Canadian fashion, they are completely equal-opportunity and utterly non-discriminatory about it.

Everyone freaks them out.

Jewish man removed from airplane for praying
Tuesday, September 5, 2006 | 11:12 PM ET
CBC News

Some fellow passengers are questioning why an Happy HasidOrthodox Jewish man was removed from an Air Canada Jazz flight in Montreal last week for praying.

The man was a passenger on a Sept. 1 flight from Montreal to New York City when the incident happened.

The airplane was heading toward the runway at the Pierre Elliott Trudeau International Airport when eyewitnesses said the Orthodox man began to pray.

“He was clearly a Hasidic Jew,” said Yves Faguy, a passenger seated nearby. “He had some sort of cover over his head. He was reading from a book.

“He wasn’t exactly praying out loud but he was lurching back and forth,” Faguy added.

The action didn’t seem to bother anyone, Faguy said, but a flight attendant approached the man and told him his praying was making other passengers nervous.

“The attendant actually recognized out loud that he wasn’t a Muslim and that she was sorry for the situation but they had to ask him to leave,” Faguy said.

The man, who spoke neither English nor French, was escorted off the airplane.

Air Canada Jazz termed the situation “delicate,” but says it received more than one complaint about the man’s behaviour.

The crew had to act in the interest of the majority of passengers, said Jazz spokeswoman Manon Stewart.

“The passenger did not speak English or French, so we really had no choice but to return to the gate to secure a translator,” she said.

The airline is not saying if the man was told he was not allowed to pray, but a spokesperson said the man was back on board the next flight to New York.

Jewish leaders in Montreal criticized the move as insensitive, saying the flight attendants should have explained to the other passengers that the man was simply praying and doing no harm.

Hasidic Rabbi Ronny Fine said he often prays on airplanes, but typically only gets curious stares.

“If it’s something that you’re praying in your own seat and not taking over the whole plane, I don’t think it should be a problem,” said Fine.

The Jewish group B’nai Brith Canada has offered to help give Air Canada crews sensitivity training.

Yep, better keep an eye on them for sure!