Category Archives: Allegory

aliens arrested in Roswell

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The Transition of Michael Jackson 

It had to happen sooner or later! From The Register, via Fark.

It appears that the black helicopter brigade were right all along about Area 51, since US Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) operatives this week arrested 15 aliens at the facility who were, chillingly, in the process of painting military aircraft when the net closed.

Alien autopsy, let's see if they can find out what happened to his career

That’s according to an official ICE report under the splendid headline “ICE arrests 15 aliens in Roswell working for US military contractor“.

The aliens in question were described as 3alEinCrEw“determined to be illegally residing and working in the United States” and will be sent back to their place of origin.

Stay vigilant. ®

quote o’ the day: Oscar Wilde on blogging

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V“Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.”

— Oscar Wilde

 

petting Coulter

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Ann Coulter, 45It’s all so sordid. Not content with confusing Canada for Amerika Jr and recommending the proactive execution of American liberals, Metro tells us that everyone’s favorite 45-year-old Republican bottle blonde fake & bake twinkie harridan is smearing the reputation of an innocent 7-year-old, merely by association.

Is nothing sacred?

SFGate has the full report, including Coulter‘s location in a so-called “petting” zoo, plus the graphic proof that Coulter particularly enjoys the use of “toys”.

A follow-up visit shows that the similarities are Coulter enjoys toysplentiful: Both have a long mane of blonde hair and legs that are thin enough to comfortably slip a LiveStrong silicone bracelet on the lower thigh. And whether it’s fair or not, many a liberal blogger has pointed out that Ann Coulter‘s head does have some equine qualities.

Now, that’s not really fair. We all know where the true comparison lies.

Afghann Coulter

Judge for yourself, though:

Coulter, poor Coulter

face of Jesus/Che found on sushi

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Face of ... somebodyorother on a shrimpWell, the guy who sent the pictures in claims it’s Jesus, but Jesus’ General, who knows Jesus and Commies when he sees ’em, says it’s actually a shrimp with a picture of Che Guevera, and no doubt a dastardly plot to pull us away from Jesus and towards the ungodly worship of socialist shellfish.

Judge for thyself. 

SAN JOSE, Calif. — A California man believes he has seen the face of Jesus Christ on a shrimp tail…

The man wrote that he wanted to share with viewers a smile and a sense of hope…

The writer said he believed it was a sign, as he’s currently going through a nasty divorce.

It’s a sign, sweetie, that you need to get out more. And when that advice is coming from me, it’s really serious.

Che, hey hey!

TWAT: operation enormous burrito

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Burrito of Terror! 

From AP, via Fark. TWAT continues to protect our airports from swarthy, t-shirt wearing Americans, and our schools from Irish-American eighth graders carrying oversized lunch foods.

CLOVIS, N.M. – A call about a possible weapon at a middle school prompted police to put armed officers on rooftops, close nearby streets and lock down the school…

The drama ended two hours later when the suspicious item was identified as a 30-inch burrito filled with steak, guacamole, lettuce, salsa and jalapeños…

After the lockdown was lifted but before the burrito was identified as the culprit, parents pulled 75 students out of school, Russell said…

“The kid was sitting there as I’m describing this (report of a student with a suspicious package) and he’s thinking, ‘Oh, my gosh, they’re talking about my burrito.‘”

In eighth grade, that’s all anybody can talk about, Mike.

But could it be the revenge of the illegals? Was poor Mike just a simple stooge in a Mexican bomb plot?

No illegals means no burritos, America