The Definitive Act of the Twenty-First Century

For Realz.

And that is: notquoting Tionna Smalls.” Although that’s a close runner-up. No; no indeed, the definitive act of the Twenty-First Century is, naturally, something that first surfaced on YouTube. Because you, the reader, are so finely attuned to nuance and Zeitgeist and other foreign-sounding words, you are reading it here before it registers on the consciousness of the tastemakers at Gawker Media, the Times, or CBC. Ahead of the curve, in front of the pack, on the top of the heap, and (perhaps?) good for loaning me twenty bucks till the end of the month?

Yes, that is the raincoaster blog devotee!

And just for you we present the following video, another Brian Atene monologue, but this one may be somewhat familiar in parts, if you’ve survived high school English. I had all of the great “To be or not to be” speech memorized by the time I was ten because it was on the cover of my best friend’s mother’s cookie tin and it would always take her ten or fifteen minutes to talk her mom into letting us get at the Peek Freans, so I had plenty of time to go over the lines. I used to recite them to her poodle when I was pet-sitting, just to discombobulate it.

It was a nasty little dog, and I’m a bitch. What can I say?

So here it is, the video containing the plan for the definitive act of the twenty-first century. And what might that act be, you wonder? Well, I’ll tell you. But I’ll tell you over the jump, because I’m like that.

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Cannibalism Unicorn Chaser

Apparently, people are finding the whole “Leatherface Bakery” post a bit strong, particularly in concert with the “He’s eating my BRAIN!” post which immediately followed it. To offer salve to your traumatized synapses, to pay Spiegs back for allowing my shameless link whoring (subject to revocation if I wake up to find I’ve been executed again), and also to keep the whole Heads In Danger theme we’ve got going today on the ol’ raincoaster blog, I offer the following amusing (and only somewhat bloodthirsty) images of foodheads, which I stole from Fabulously40 via Gawker.

Apple, jack.

Orange and Tomato

Mister Potatohead

I think Mister Potatohead has had a little work done, don’t you?

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Head Shop Opens

Body Bakery; mouth-watering for a certain clientele

Who did the business plan for this one, Jeffrey Dahmer?

“Of course, people were shocked and thought that I was mad when they saw the works. But once they knew the idea behind it, they understood and became interested in the work itself, instead of thinking that I am crazy.”

Thai artist Kittiwat Unarrom has a bakery in Ratchaburi, Thailand, where he sells these lovingly-made, home-baked loaves of bread. The ShapeAndColour blog has some video of him at work, plus more mouth-watering shots of the finished product. I don’t know how expensive these things are, but I’m already wondering if he takes requests. Just the thing for a party, don’t you think? You could really surprise the guest of honour (with, say, an ex? Hilarity, especially if you invite Claus von Bulow).

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Birdman flies again!

This is Yves Rossy, also known as Rocketman, also known as Fusionman, presumably because there is no word in Swiss for “Rocket?” I dunno.

Doesn’t this look like fun?

Yves Rossy, the Birdman of Switzerland

Once they get those Sharks With Frickin’ Laser Beams On Their Heads perfected, my wish list will be complete.

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taking matters into your own hands

Married To The Sea

I think this only pays ($4,000,000!) if you’re an anime sculpture created by Takashi Murakami. Whom I love. The best comment of the day on a site that is not mine award goes to shanaisapunkrocker, who says:

My boyfriend and I played a fun game when we went to the Murakami exhibition at Brooklyn Museum: we stood near the cum-cloud sculpture for a few minutes and watched people’s facial expressions as they turned around the corner and realized what they were seeing. Priceless every time.