Oft have we and many other notables of the blogosphere lamented the passing of the iconic Longhorse, most noble of beasts, most loyal of friends, most helpful of livestock, and, until now, most extinct of creatures.

We mourn no longer.

Inspired, perhaps, by the leg-lengthening operations so popular amongst Asians with high net worth and higher pain thresholds, or then again, perhaps by the spine-extension procedures perfected by Dr. Francois Charriere in his rotting and ghoul-haunted Providence house, modern science has dipped into the Cabinet of Dr. Caligari and re-created the noble Longhorse, offering it on a for-profit basis in what can only be described as a Frankensteinian nightmare of simultaneous triumph and horror.

Dr. Boli has the proof:

Cautiously optimistic as I may be about advances in science, I think even the most coldly rational among us must pause and consider the implications of turning banal Dobbins into a tawdry modern similacrum of what was once one of nature’s most beautiful creations. Are we not all too familiar with what can occur when Man seeks to usurp the role of Creator?

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