Category Archives: Bingo

Trudeau Got Vaccinated. Again

The Early Morning (Well, Almost On Time) Covid Briefing Bingo

Posted on by

Is it too early? It’s too early.

A nation cringes!

I’m calling it anyway: regular Wednesday 11:30am Covid briefings until we’re out of this whole “setting record highs in hospital admissions and new cases” mess, which could be March, if then. And of course during this pandemic when is the ONLY standing appointment I have each week? Wednesday, at 11am.

I feel seen.

Nonetheless, I have changed the appointment, because I WILL NOT BE THWARTED GODDAMMIT! I’m too bored. You wouldn’t like me when I’m bored. Hell, most people don’t even like me when I’m fully entertained.

So, come along with me as I attempt to wrest from a federal covid briefing all the entertainment value that may be latent therein, and quite a bit more if my English prof’s notes (“you have over-read this haiku, and I don’t have time to read fourteen pages”) are anything to go by. By which to go. Whatever.

Let’s start with some freshly-made outrage, shall we?

Do you (not) see what I (do not) see?

That’s right: NO MASKS! Shock! Horror! Also, we can’t see the Famous Tattoo from this angle! Call the DailyFail and the NatPoPo! Are we all outraged? Flushed with adrenaline and grasping for our phones? Good, good. My work here is done. Counts as aerobic exercise, people! Probably the most that some of us will get all year.

You see, I then looked at the date and it was 2018. *sad trombone* Doesn’t that seem like ancient history now? It was the Pre-Covidian Age, an era without masks. Masks are to 2022 what fedoras were to 1936. Just don’t tip them; tip your delivery worker!

Also, tips are a way for capitalists to push the burden of fair payment for workers off itself and onto its customers. The only wage should be a living wage.

But where was I before I scrambled to the top of my soapbox (don’t blame me, it’s the only way I can see from the cheap seats!). Right, about to start with the Covid briefing which is, for once, suspiciously almost on time.

Here’s our video:

On Parliament Hill, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau discusses the federal government’s response to the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic and the spread of the Omicron variant. He is joined by federal ministers Jean-Yves Duclos (health), Filomena Tassi (public services and procurement) and Mary Ng (international trade). Responding to questions from reporters, the prime minister comments on Quebec’s announcement that it is considering a financial penalty for residents who refuse to be vaccinated against COVID-19.

Ten thousand views, by the Seven Hours Later point. Impressive, and possibly a record. People are much more engaged with this one than they were with earlier briefings, perhaps because the gravity of the situation, and the degree to which it was preventable all along, is beginning to sink in. Yeah, that’s what passes for optimism in my house at least these days.

And our cards:

Continue reading →
Hadrien and Justin Trudeau en route to work

The Liminal Covid Briefing Bingo

Posted on by

We’re baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack! Did you miss us, Possums? We missed you too. If we could, we’d buy each of you a copy of Iyanla Vanzant’s book In The Meantime, because that’s very much where we are: after an election, but before Parliament gets back to work.

Post-CERB, pre-UBI.

Jokers to the left of us, murderclowns to the right. Here you are, stuck in the liminal space with me.

Justin Trudeau is late, as usual.

Hadrien and Justin Trudeau en route to work
Quick, Maple Boy, TO THE DIEFENBUNKER!

We’ve got a full house down on Wellington Street, so mark your “Reporter sits in the front row” square. Either the political reportage class of Canada is deathly bored after an election OR they suspect big news. We’re back at the Soon-To-Be-Renamed-If-I’m-Any-Guesser Sir John A. MacDonald building, so I guess even the nomenclature is liminal today.

I was supposed to be finishing my degree as of September, but thanks to paperwork that got pushed to January, so this entire Fall season is liminal for me. As is the Covidian Age, for us all, Possums. For all of us.
Let’s hope it’s a soft landing, Possums.

Here’s our video, Possums. As usual, from CPAC, with a walloping 427 people watching. The reporters got quite the lecture from some young guy in jeans, to which they paid more attention than reporters pay most people, so it must have been important, but the sound was off. C’mon, CPAC, we want our inside scoop!

And our bingo cards are here:

Continue reading →
Ella-Grace, Sophie, Justin, and Hadrien Trudeau walk to Rideau Hall to meet the Governor General prior to her dissolving Parliament and calling an election.

Election Bingo, Rideau Hall Edition

Posted on by

Here we are, Possums, outside Rideau Hall which once more has a Governor-General in residence, even though it isn’t me. Alas. YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE PEOPLE BUT NOOOOO.

But I’m over that.

Ella-Grace, Sophie, Justin, and Hadrien Trudeau walk to Rideau Hall to meet the Governor General prior to her dissolving Parliament and calling an election.
Ella-Grace, Sophie, Justin, and Hadrien Trudeau walk to Rideau Hall to meet the Governor General prior to her dissolving Parliament and calling an election.

Let’s get straight into it, because as usual I’ve left the blogging to the last minute. So here’s our video of the PM visiting the GG to ask her to dissolve Parliament (which is on vacation anyway) and call an election. Two days ago the Conservatives released a Not Officially Campaign Video on Twitter, one which was greeted with enthusiasm and relief. By everyone who opposes the Conservative Party. Because that thing is a mortifying clusterfuck. An expensive, mortifying clusterfuck produced by pricy foreign consultants that got ratioed all to hell on Twitter.

Behold:

And yesterday the Liberal campaign ad leaked or was handed to FactPointVideo (whoever they are) and posted on YouTube:

Oh oops, was he not supposed to do that? Was that bad?

Hey, mark your “Got your backs” square already! Shall we get into it? Let’s get into it, Possums.

No new Bingo cards for today, but we’ve got ten already from our Covid Briefing Bingo, so let’s use them.

Here is our video, with only 173 people watching. It’s not even the first day of the election and it seems like people are OVER it.

And here are our cards:

Continue reading →

Non-Election Election Bingo, Part the Second

Posted on by

We’re here, we’re caffeinated, and we’re doing this, Possums. Today is the investiture of the new Governor-General, who is NOT me (despite my second-best-impaired-by-Long-Covid efforts). It is Mary Simon, who, unlike me, is actually qualified for the job.

Here’s the program for the event, and here’s our video, with a mere 155 people watching live:

Mary Simon is sworn in as Canada’s 30th governor general during an installation ceremony in the Senate chamber. The Inuk leader and former diplomat becomes the first Indigenous person to serve in the role.

Here are our bingo cards:

Continue reading →
Walking in like Zoolander at the mine

Non-Election Election Bingo, Part the First

Posted on by

So, Possums, here we are again. Justin Trudeau has jettisoned the Covid-specific Briefings in favour of popping up all over the country, announcing huge federal investments in the local economy, affordable childcare, and offering to walk your dog and cut your lawn, all of which can’t possibly be motivated by hopes of winning your vote, because he hasn’t called an election yet.

Or rather, since he’s got a minority government, the NDP and CPC would rather die than give him an election at the present time, he hasn’t been ABLE to call an election yet, really.

A very smart person I know said the inevitable election will be October 10, because new MPs won’t be vested in their pensions until October 9, and they would NEVER support a party leader who risked their pensions just because he had a 25-point lead on the nearest competitor.

Time, Possums. It will tell. It’s certainly unlikely until Parliament reconvenes, which isn’t until September. God knows, those cottages need an airing-out after all this time away from them. Ch’yeah, like they haven’t been going all this time. Meanwhile I’ve been sitting in the same chair in the same room since March of last year.

For this first iteration of Non-Election Election Bingo, we’ll be using the old Covid Briefing Bingo cards, so there’s not much of a learning curve. Once I figure out how to edit a PDF I’ll make some non-election-specific cards, but that day, it is not this day. I know you, you can roll with this.

So here is our video, CPAC willing. They were getting a little erratic, towards the end of the Trudeau Covid briefings. French narration over top of the PM talking, audio dropping, not getting the placeholder for the livestream up in time. We shall see. It adds an element of suspense to an otherwise predictable appearance in Brampton, Ontario, that global hub of intrigue and danger.

Mark your “shades Doug Ford” square.
One suspects he does not take ALL the questions. One, in fact, knows this for sure.

Aha, here we are, 45 minutes late. Did he like, walk there or something? Let’s do this. Let us do this motherfucking thing.

Prime Minister Justin Trudeau make an announcement on housing and takes questions from reporters in Brampton, Ontario. He is joined by Social Development Minister Ahmed Hussen and Transport Minister Omar Alghabra, as well as Brampton-area Liberal MPs Maninder Sidhu, Kamal Khera, Ruby Sahota, and Sonia Sidhu.

And our cards are here:

Continue reading →