No shit. And the countdown begins to the black dawn when Sergey and Whatsisface will put YouTube on ice, as they’ve so long dreamed of doing. So much for all my lovely videos.
White ‘n Nerdy, we hardly knew ye.
Category Archives: Blogging
Operation Global Media Domination: not goodbye, but au revoir
and here I am again!
Thankfully, it appears that none of you particularly missed me. Hits took a slight dip on Friday, as they always do, but you came back like swallows to Capistrano or, more likely, alcoholics to the saloon, on Sunday. For this I can thank Mark Foley, Mark Foley, Mark Foley, Mark Foley, Mark Foley, the trailer for 300, Ohio Northern University, the FW 109, Colin McEnroe’s Blogging On class at Trinity College in Hartford, CT, Technorati‘s front page (finally broke the top 30,000!), and Steve Irwin, who is still dead at 44.
Note, if you will, that my post about Foley‘s IM transcripts, which quotes from and links to ABC‘s complete transcript, actually outranks the ABC post it refers to in searches on ABC.com.
I don’t know what WordPress is drinking, but I’ll have one!
Viggo vs Evil Elf, a trip in the wayback machine
Stop me if you’ve heard this one, but here’s a little something I wrote for North Country Public Radio back in 2002, when several crazy American strangers decided that nothing would make them happier than to fly me back East to meet a Danish-American movie star.
So they did.
There are so many reasons this trip is impossible. So many GOOD reasons. It IS impossible. But of course that has no bearing on the situation whatsoever; we are dealing with Americans here.
It must be pretty good; their previous record hits in a day was 700, and this went to 3500. When the hits are down, mention a Danish-American movie star, Beautiful Agony, Mango Porno, the blogs of murderous Goths, or, apparently, Foley‘s emails. Sure winners, every one.
It could be some time before I’m back online (although, given that I’m in Ontario, it can be no more than fifteen seconds before I’m in the vicinity of yet another television with the volume up high) so this should tide you over till then. 24,000 words, if memory serves. Plus bonus photos!
Representative Mark (Pederast) Foley’s IM transcripts
Yeah, definitely NSFW. And NSFLunch, either, unless it’s your intention to become bulimic. Here’s the IM exchange between Foley and a 16 year-old male page, which is racier than the emails. From ABC News, via Fark. We’re farking heavily today, for whatever reason.
A snippet:
Maf54 (7:46:33 PM): did any girl give you a haand job this weekend
Xxxxxxxxx (7:46:38 PM): lol no
Xxxxxxxxx (7:46:40 PM): im single right now
Xxxxxxxxx (7:46:57 PM): my last gf and i broke up a few weeks agi
Maf54 (7:47:11 PM): are you
Maf54 (7:47:11 PM): good so your getting horny
Xxxxxxxxx (7:47:29 PM): lol…a bit
Maf54 (7:48:00 PM): did you spank it this weekend yourself
Yeah, that’s enough for my tummy. How about you?
The Constitution of the United States of America 2.0
All hail Devilstower, the author of this, the ultimate and definitive American political commentary. Jon (World’s Greatest American) Stewart should be so lucky as to write something this good.
via Fark.
The Constitution of the United States 2.0
As there have lately been so many changes to the basic functioning of the United States — a shift of powers here, a whittling away of rights there, it seems a good time to issue a revised version of the basic operating document. This is the real Republican Contract with America.We the Republicans of the United States, in Order to prevent any challenge to our continued Supremacy, free ourselves from the Confines of Justice, placate the Tranquil masses, degrade the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of War Profiteering for ourselves and our Friends, do ordain and establish Constitution 2.0 for the United States of America.
ARTICLE I
Section 1
All legislative Powers are hereby ceded to the Executive branch, though the Congress will still make a Grand Noise and wave their arms as if they give a Damn.Section 2
The House of Representatives will consist of those best able to Lick the Boots of the Lobbyists and Corporations lining their pockets.No one can be a Representative unless Fox News says that he is a Patriotic American,
Representation shall be apportioned based on numbers of people willing to Pay for the Privilege. The actual Enumeration shall be made whenever it is of benefit to Republicans.
Representatives will choose a Speaker and other Officers by how willing these Officers are to turn a blind eye to the Crimes of Republicans and how Loudly they will Declare the Daily Talking Points.
Section 3
The Senate shall… oh hell, just see Section 1.The Vice President shall be President of the Senate and can use any Four Letter Word he wants in talking to Senators, so F-You, Leahy.
Section 4
Elections will be held whenever Diebold is prepared to provide the Right Results.Section 5
Each House shall make a mockery of policing itself and shall be free to throw out all the Democrats they want, but Republicans who engage in Pederasty shall be protected.Section 6
Republican Senators and Representatives will enjoy a Revolving Door of organizations who pay for votes, and give them jobs any time they are taking a break.Section 7
The House and Senate shall apply a large Rubber Stamp to every suggestion issued by the President.Section 8
The House shall raise all the taxes they want on the poor and middle-class so long as they leave the Rich alone.The Congress will dodge all responsibility for decisions on War.
Section 9
The rules of Immigration shall be set in a way that protects Republican majorities.Section 10
Any treaties are not worth the paper they are Written on.ARTICLE II
Section 1
The President can do anything he wants, that’s what’s good about being President. Heh heh.Section 2
The President can wear any uniform he wants and pretend to fly planes.Section 3
The President and the Congress should split some beers now and then, but he doesn’t have to invite any Democrats.Section 4
Having sex is a good Reason to get rid of a President. Lying, being Incompetent, Wasting Billions, and getting Thousands of Americans Killed, is fine.ARTICLE III
This Article was full of that Judge stuff, so we just took it out.ARTICLE IV
We can declare any place we want part of the United States so they can call their stuff “Made in the USA,” but don’t go thinking they get representation.ARTICLE V
Amendments to the Constitution will only be for Really Important Stuff, like how scared we are of Homos and Foreign People.ARTICLE VI
You can ignore any part of this Constitution if it gets in the way of Profit or something that gets Republicans elected.ARTICLE VII
People are supposed to be afraid all the Time, otherwise they do too damn much Thinking.
