Quite frankly, OMFG how pathfuckingthetic can this be? raincoaster's given out links to moronic URLs before but this is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay outtaline.
Check the spelling. Check the punctuation. Check the whatever… and realize that this is the top WordPress blog today.
Then go bang your head against the wall and wonder why some people are allowed within thirty feet of the alphabet, when clearly they pose a danger to society and themselves.
Yep, there's a website out there for every conceivable service.
Looking for some exotic child-pervin' action on your next vacation? Then you need to click here to contact Wicked Adventures Travel and book your holiday to the Philippines or Thailand. Note that your "preferred companion" can be chosen from several categories: 12 and under, 13-14, 15-16, 16-17, or 18 and older. Charming.
When raincoaster checks the ol' raincoaster stats, she looks for many things: total hit count, most popular blog entry, signs of the coming Apocalypse…it's like necromancy, but you don't have to wash your hands afterwards unless you get very excited. Among the things that she looks for are links through which readers have clicked to arrive at raincoaster, the blog. And this one from yesterday particularly caught her eye.
It appears to be a Google translation of this post, a roundup of search engine terms that brought people to the blog. This is known as a feedback loop, and is sneakily effective in gaining new readers and hooking back the old ones, even if they were only looking for Narnia Mango Somali Porn.
Oops, I did it again!
Anywhoooo, the words on this page that were beyond Google's ability to translate were quite interesting. In the interests of creating a new, more selective feedback loop, and in the interest of confusing the Chinese, I will here list all terms in that raincoaster post found untranslatable by Google:
Narnia, Ian McKellen, Fatman, pervs, snotflower, creamer, ventibrevemocha, lattes, buggers, cholesteral, patchouli, eggnog latte, decaf, comin', Pablo, Sandford Tuey, raincoaster, voyeur, appy, tiaras, 9.11, WhiteSpot, Hogwarts, Deuel, Cates, vagina, spankin', Conference, shebeen, Wuthering, screencaps, jocari, Doktari, sumpin', slimin', spay, watchin'.
Did you ever do those assignments in school where you were supposed to use each of a whole snotload of words in a sentence? I was terribly literalminded, and always tried to get them all into one sentence, which drove my teachers nuts, but even I would have to admit defeat when faced with the above list.
FYI Here are today's search engine items that led here. I must say, we're getting better. Classier, weirder, and less Somali-porn-based. Some Somali trivia: You know Iman? When she left Somalia she took everything worth looking at with her.
beautiful agony, shit eating, dorks, eagle cam in Vancouver, Canada, Juvénal Habyarimana -site:africadatabas, Celebrity Censorship, jesus lego, birthday animation, cocaine corner, Giant Squid
I knew he'd show up on Youtube sooner or later. Ladies and gentlemen may we present Podcaster of the Millennium, the Kid from Brooklyn!
From Gawker:
There’s an interesting report today on a Columbia undergraduate publication’s punnily and speech-impedimently named blog, the Bwog, regarding an old trove of slush-pile submissions to The New Yorker’s poetry department:
[I]t was with much fanfare that the interns were told that they were finally going to throw out the box. But first wouldn’t they be so careful as to go through the submissions and remove all the self-addressed stamped envelopes? Why? To save the stamps, of course. Yes, the poetry editor of the New Yorker had her interns cut out each and every 37 cent stamp they could find, even though these stamps on their own were useless without a two cent supplement to compensate for the 2006 cost of postage.
Midway through their task she stopped them. Touched by the hand of reason? Of common human decency? “I just wanted to make sure… neither of you has a blog, right?”
Oh, silly poetry editor, everyone has a blog now.
Meter Money [Bwog]
