Category Archives: Blogging

Britney and K-Fed and Bobby Fischer in sex tape shocker!

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Britney en route to a chess tourney, no doubt.Now, we’re informed media consumers here at the ol’ raincoaster blog. We like to think we can sniff out a planted story faster than a police dog can sniff out a suitcase full of Elmos. And the British press is to bullshit reports what Iraq is to oil imperialists; an irresistable and inexhaustable well.

But that doesn’t mean we’re not going to cover their stories. Oh no, perish the thought. Because then we’d have to do without this brazilliant piece of bullshit from, one would hazard a guess, the UK publicist of Fed-Ex (maybe the separation agreement means he gets to keep half of the publicists?). The image of a spent and sweat-sheened Britney and K-Fed taking a break from mind-boggling, 10 on the Richter Scale sex only to play a round or two of chess is just too precious and ridonkulous to pass up.

Britney, unless I’m mistaken it’s your move.

London, Nov 12: Pop singer Britney Spears’ estranged hubby Kevin Federline has reportedly threatened to go public with the couples[sic] honeymoon sex tapes if she fails to make a hefty payout to him and hand custody of their two sons.

Po po wha???Britney fears the raunchy footage will destroy her wholesome image [also sic, BIG sic, as Ed the Sock said, “I know strippers who can’t move like that!”] unless she caves in to his demands for a £16million payoff and custody of their children Sean Preston, one, and Jayden James, eight weeks…

“At the time the two of them were in the honeymoon stages of the relationship and couldn’t keep their hands off each other. They did nothing all day but have sex—and play the odd game of chess.

I’m killing myself here. Someone alert Bobby Fischer.

Operation Global Media Domination: raincoaster the drama queen

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total information awareness

Ladies and gentlemen, I have joined a rare sorority indeed. Up in the Cloud-Cuckoo Land inhabited by the likes of Xeni, Atrios, Matt and Robert, one is issued with one’s very own Stanford-grad intern and Technorati fluffers upon entry.

I, my friends, have ascended.

I have my own tag.

Now, the eagle-eyed among you will have already noticed that if you check Technorati for blog entries associated with the tag “Operation Global Media Domination” that I have pretty much a complete hegemony on all OGMD-related posts. This is no accident; indeed, I put the fix in early and often for that one, and to, obviously, great effect.

But as every self-aggrandizer knows, the true laurels are those which come to you when you least expect them, from strangers.

An unknown (and possibly unknowable) WordPress member has bestowed upon me my very own tag.

“raincoaster the drama queen“

*wipes away a tear* 

Alas, Dr Mike has proactively deleted it; now not only do I look histrionic, I look like I’m hallucinating as well! A screencap, a screencap, my Slithering Reptile TLB Ranking for a screencap!

sign o’ the times; the time at the end of all things, when the Great Old Ones will return and clear off the Earth, to gibber in madness and ecstasy forever

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this doesn't look good. Click for more IF YOU DARE

There hath he lain for ages and will lie,

Battening on huge seaworms in his sleep;

Until the latter fire shall heat the deep;

Then once by man and angels to be seen,

In roaring he shall rise and on the surface die.

And here we at the ol’ raincoaster blog thought we were the only ones who were on this Cthulhu thing around WordPress. Live and learn, and point and gibber in helpless panic at the ultrasound from sobek’s Innocent Bystanders blog.

There are other signs.

This came via Fark, as we have always known news of the End Days would arrive. Pass the whiskey. I have no intention of dying sober.

Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn

IT IS RISEN!

WELLINGTON, New Zealand (AP) — A new volcanic island has risen from the South Pacific near Tonga, according to reports from two vessels that passed the area.

The crew of the Maiken, a yacht that left the northern Tongan islands group of Vava’u in August, reported on their Web log on August 12 that they saw streaks of light, porous pumice stone floating in the water — then “sailed into a vast, many-miles-wide belt of densely packed pumice.”

They posted photos of huge “pumice rafts” that they encountered after passing Tonga’s Late island while sailing toward Fiji.

“We were so fascinated and busy taking pictures that we plowed a couple of hundred meters into this surreal floating stone field before we realized that we had to turn back,” wrote a crewman identified only as Haken.

The next day they spotted an active volcanic island, Haken wrote.

He said they could see the volcanic island clearly. “One mile in diameter and with four peaks and a central crater smoking with steam and once in a while an outburst high in the sky with lava and ashes. I think we’re the first ones out here,” he reported.

Oh no, far from it. But Johansen can no longer speak; he no longer has that which could serve as a tongue, nor that which could string together thoughts enough to guide it. God has been merciful to Johansen; may he be so to us as well.

Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn

The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid isle of ignorance amidst black seas of chaos, and it is not meant that we should voyage far.

a message from webcameron

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to raincoaster. Well, a message from YouTube to raincoaster, but conveying a very clear message from webcameron. Why don’t I just paste what I put on the Boris Johnson blog:

Well it looks like some of them aren’t quite as “sharing and caring” as they claim. Look what my YouTube posting of the webcameron video got me:

Dear Member:

This is to notify you that we have removed or disabled access to the following material as a result of a third-party notification by The Conservative Party claiming that this material is infringing:

Cameron and Johnson on Webcameron: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKSfQ6wGAsM

Please Note: Repeat incidents of copyright infringement will result in the deletion of your account and all videos uploaded to that account. In order to avoid future strikes against your account, please delete any videos to which you do not own the rights, and refrain from uploading additional videos that infringe on the copyrights of others. For more information about YouTube’s copyright policy, please read the Copyright Tips guide.

If you elect to send us a counter notice, to be effective it must be a written communication provided to our designated agent that includes substantially the following (please consult your legal counsel or see 17 U.S.C. Section 512(g)(3) to confirm these requirements):

(A) A physical or electronic signature of the subscriber.

(B) Identification of the material that has been removed or to which access has been disabled and the location at which the material appeared before it was removed or access to it was disabled.

(C) A statement under penalty of perjury that the subscriber has a good faith belief that the material was removed or disabled as a result of mistake or misidentification of the material to be removed or disabled.

(D) The subscriber’s name, address, and telephone number, and a statement that the subscriber consents to the jurisdiction of Federal District Court for the judicial district in which the address is located, or if the subscriberis address is outside of the United States, for any judicial district in which the service provider may be found, and that the subscriber will accept service of process from the person who provided notification under subsection (c)(1)(C) or an agent of such person.

Such written notice should be sent to our designated agent as follows:

DMCA Complaints
YouTube, Inc.
1000 Cherry Ave.
Second Floor
San Bruno, CA 94066
Email: copyright@youtube.com

Please note that under Section 512(f) of the Copyright Act, any person who knowingly materially misrepresents that material or activity was removed or disabled by mistake or misidentification may be subject to liability.

Sincerely,
YouTube, Inc.

Copyright © 2006 YouTube, Inc.

Wibbler, watch your back. It appears they’re not as interested in spreading their message as they are in retaining control over it. I guess they DO want to limit the audience to people who can afford iPods.

I thought of sending the info to these guys, but they haven’t updated in four years (can’t be for lack of demand). As I said on my blog, it seems bizarre that they would distribute this only through means that cannot be shared, but must be viewed on an individual basis. Allowing a YouTube or other embedded player to be distributed in blogs would spread the message widely, in truly democratic fashion. I guess that’s not what this is about. Ah well, I shoulda known. They’re Tories.

po po OW! K-Fed-Ex text message transcript

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po po yowza! Who wears the pants in this family and who wears the manpris?My good friend engtech has passed along the transcript of the Britney-K-Fed-Ex dumping text message exchange. This top-secret document was no doubt leaked by the very hacker who cracked Paris Hilton‘s sidekick. What would we do without celebrity-obsessed hackers? We’d have to write our own bloody blog content, that’s what, and nobody wants to see that happen.

Here’s a slice of the transcript, available at drivl.com, which has the makings of my new spiritual home, via engtech.

Britney: hey kev, y’all remember when i was hot?

Kevin: po po yeah, i wuz like dayum bitches i hit the jackpot!

Britney: well i just crapped out federline junior #2, and i worked, like, super hard to lose all that weight and y’all haven’t said nothin. i even did a couple of, whatya call ’em, where you sit up a buncha times…anyway, i cut down to eating only three bags of cheetos a day, and that was hard!

Kevin: po po cheetos are off the hook fo sho…