search me

Which I only use as a title because it is such a cheap and easy pun. When I actually used that expression in speech (mostly back before puberty) I always thought it was “Certs me” and, indeed, it makes no less sense that way than most things we learned from the grownups.

In any case, for sociological research purposes, here is a list of things people have searched for to get to my blog over the past couple of days. Read ’em and … make puzzled expressions as you try to find meaning in a meaningless univer…oh, never mind. I’ve been reading too much French literature lately. You wil note: no squid. And I wonder if the evidently excited person looking for “COWBOY MEAT” was, in fact, hoping for screencaps of Brokeback Mountain.

———————————————————
Kira hirsuta
COWBOY MEAT
roll up the rim founder at quebec
Gay Famous People
School spankin
phoebe cates
——————–
“roll-up-the-rim” jerome
raincoaster
Steven page cowichan sweater
Luna orca
tim hortons roll up the wil to win
correct douching
NARNIA porno

his first time

I won’t be gentle.

Pub CrawlingNow, there’s a first time for all of us. Several, come to think of it: first word, first steps, first date, first kiss, first…you get the idea.

First pub crawl. Yes, first Friday night out in the big city with your buddies, looking for some hot urban action.

How not to do it? This way:

Shortish, black-clad male twentysomething, coming out of Earl’s* with other short, black-clad male twentysomethings.

He says, “Awwwright! Now let’s hit The Keg*!”

*American readers, please substitute Benihana and TGIFriday‘s for Earl’s and The Keg. British readers, you have no equivalents. Count yourselves lucky.

Obituary: Luna

Luna

 

That’s what you get for hanging around with sailors.

 

 Luna, the Nootka Sound orca who was friendlier than a barfull of hookers at closing time has died. He was getting too chummy with a tugboat, and the propellers got him. The captain is, understandably, distraught. No word on how the locals are taking it, although given that they believed Luna to be the reincarnation of their dead chief, it can perhaps be guessed at.

 

“There’s really no blame,” said Ford, referring to the fact Luna loved playing with boats of any kind and seemed able to keep safe. By 2004, Luna’s affection for boats and float planes became a hazard. Fisheries officials tried to relocate him down the coast to reunite him with his pod, but local aboriginal people protested. The Mowaat-Muchalaat First Nation believe Luna to embody the spirit of their dead chief who died just days before Luna appeared. Luna was familiar with the General Jackson and went out to meet it, and got sucked into the propellers, and was killed immediately.

Public Service Announcement with bonus self-aggrandizement

raincoaster media ltd presents:

Shebeen
 
The Shebeen Club:

Tax Tips for Literary Professionals

When: 7-9pm, Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Where: the Shebeen, behind the Irish Heather, 217 Carrall Street, Vancouver BC *UPDATE* we’ve moved to the Reading Room upstairs at the Irish Heather. Just ask if you don’t know where it is, or come upstairs and listen for the loud arguments about alliterative versus rhyming verse.

How: reserve by emailing lorraine.murphy@gmail.com

How Much: $20 to March 17th, thereafter $25 space-available; limited to 40

What: Mingling, presentations, and a special literary-themed light dinner & drink combo: Po’ boys?

Who: Why not you? Our presenter this month is author and tax specialist Sylvia Lim.

For more info or media passes contact: Lorraine @ raincoaster media lorraine.murphy@gmail.com

This month the Shebeen Club welcomes two-time author and tax specialist Sylvia Lim for an educational presentation on tax tips to help practicing writers, editors and publishers get ready for T-Day. Can you deduct the laptop? Maybe. The Editor’s Association Membership? Probably. The blonde wig and sunglasses? Sorry, JT.
 
Potted bio:

Sylvia Lim, CFP, CGA, is the author of two books – the “Personal Budgeting Kit” (2nd edition, 2005), a step by step guide to methodically organize one’s day to day finances; and “Finances After 55”, a retirement and eldercare planning guide to help people live a full and successful retired life.
You can reach Sylvia through her website: www.SylviaLim.com

Famous dead celebrities celebrating birthdays today include Charlotte Bronte, poet Phyllis McGinley, and Canada’s own immortal Madame Benoit, so the dress code is accountant, repressed petticoat feminist, emo librarian, or crazy Quebecois chef. Chacun à son gout!

Meet and Mingle 7-7:30
Listen and Learn 7:30-8
Frantic receipt-hunting and drunk-dialing your agent  8-9

 

Canada Day Eh

As you can tell from scrolling down, instead of honouring International Women’s Day yesterday, I simply declared it Canada Day, and damn those pigheaded people who insist on celebrating it in the summer. Whatevah. I did have an International Women’s Day post earlier in the week…

So anyway, since I officially missed International Women’s Day, I’ll use the banner here to celebrate International Women Serial Killer’s Day. Lordy, I’m cranky lately!

 

 

Serial Killers