In fact, pseudomonas aeruginosa is a ubiquitous superbug that will digest and destroy absolutely any vulnerable human tissue, so whatever you do, don’t get a papercut! Or, God forbid,  any scratches or abrasions anywhere more intimate than, say, the back of your elbow. For good reason:

Pseudomonas aeruginosa is an opportunistic pathogen, meaning that it exploits some break in the host defenses to initiate an infection.  It causes urinary tract infections, respiratory system infections, dermatitis, soft tissue infections, bacteremia, bone and joint infections, gastrointestinal infections and a variety of systemic infections, particularly in patients with severe burns and in cancer and AIDS patients who are immunosuppressed. Pseudomonas aeruginosa infection is a serious problem in patients hospitalized with cancer, cystic fibrosis, and burns. The case fatality rate in these patients is 50 percent.

And in this particular case, it cost a healthy 18-year-old Canadian both of her corneas. From the headline on that article you’d think it was unique to Africa, but in fact according to the CDC it accounts for 10% of hospital-acquired patient infections in the US. It is everywhere, and it is resistant to antibiotics as well. Super: so that’s why they call it a superbug.

The futility of treating Pseudomonas infections with antibiotics is most dramatically illustrated in cystic fibrosis patients, virtually all of whom eventually become infected with a strain that is so resistant that it cannot be treated.

It’s even the bug responsible for that nemesis of swingers everywhere, Hot Tub Rash. That reminds me: Where did I put that chlorine and sandblasting kit?

Note that, contrary to the backpacker’s expectations, doctors in African countries are not expected to be fluent in English, nor does such indicate a level of unprofessionalism. Sigh. I have a much easier time reporting these stories sympathetically when the victims whine only about things they’re entitled to whine about, like losing their eyes to tissue-eating pathogens and not “gee all the foreigners talk funny!”

I mean, it’s horrific enough:

“The guy didn’t even speak English. He looked at my eyes and I didn’t even know what he was saying,” she said.

Pus started secreting from her eyes, making it difficult for her to close and open her eyelids. A small hole became visible in her eyeball.

“The bug eats away so fast,” she said. “I went insane just from the pain.”

…Another day passed and Plouffe awoke blind. She had to wait yet another full day — filled with hysteria and weeping, she said — before she could catch a bus to a nearby community that had a medical clinic…

A member of the Canadian High Commission in Tanzania volunteered to escort her to Vancouver, where Plouffe was admitted to Vancouver General Hospital — five days after her ordeal began.

Two-thirds of her corneas had been eaten away and two weeks ago, doctors nearly removed her right eye — but reconsidered after successful cornea transplants on both eyes. She now has 17 stitches in her right eye and 24 stitches in her left.

Remember what your mother said: DON’T RUB YOUR EYES! Also, don’t go out of the house, and try to avoid touching anything at all while you’re inside. And don’t rub anything…”delicate” for God’s sake. All clear on that children? Good, now go play. Have fun!

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