Tribute: Banana Nicole Smith remembered

A touching tribute to a fallen fruit; bruised but unbowed. And, as always, everyone knows that the best thing about her is her bread, although she was no stranger to a good sandwich. Stolen from Defamer.

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cash for cadavers, the dead celebrity lottery!

Seal Number Seven...are you sure it wasn't a sea lion?

Cash for Cadavers (Oh, how I wish I’d known about them last week, I coulda made a fortune!) is a uniquely morbid, cynical, and celebrity-obssessed betting system.

So it’s got ME written all over it!

This is the way it works, and yes, it is real.

Each team chips in twenty dollars and picks twenty celebrities they believe will die in the upcoming year. Each celebrity is assigned a point value based solely on how many teams picked that specific person. For instance, everyone seems to feel that The Pope‘s number is up, so his point value is very low. People die, points are accumulated, and the lucky schmo with the most points at the end of the year wins the jackpot.

Points are only awarded to bona fide celebrities. For the sake of this game, celebrity status is determined by North American, non-categorically-specific media source. The Associated Press, for instance, runs a national obituary page every day. USA Today, New York Times, CNN, etc.
We emphasize that it must be a general news source; if your celebrity’s death appears in Field & Stream but nowhere else, he or she is not a celebrity.

Short, nasty and brutish. I love it! The team names are marvelous: My Death in a Box, Please Sir I Want Some Muerte, Tuesday is Rib Nite At Pete’s Crematorium, Croakin’ 2: Electric Deathaloo, Christopher’s Reeve’s Dancecard, and the delightfully obscure Waiting for Bengt Ekerot. Note that their definition of “Celebrity” is quite strict, and is, in fact, the most detailed part of the website. Well, it’s such a competitive field!

BART THE BEAR CLAWS: (Claws? Clause? Har har.) Animals can be played on Cash4Cadavers assuming that they meet the criteria for “celebrity.” Specific, named animals (like Morris the Cat or Bart the Bear) only; none of that “world’s oldest tortoise” crap. If you want to play the world’s oldest tortoise you’ll tell us its name, Poindexter. 

No word on whether stage names are enough to specify a celebustiff, nor any specifics about cases where the soul may have left the body but for whatever cruel and sadistic reason, the Devil hasn’t taken out the trash yet: I would call this the Kissinger Caveat.

Want to see how your picks are doing? Check the Deaths page: I only recognize Art Buschwald, Anna Nicole (the floater is hilarious! See also Paddy Mitchell, eh) and Barbaro. Hey, what’s Arianna Huffington doing in there twice?

I note with interest that it does not actually seem to be against the rules to kill the celebrities yourself.

What? WHAT? I’m just making note of the fine print is all…

Anna Nicole, our angel

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the trouble with Linux

PC, Mac, Linux

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Ask the philosophers: the 11 greatest philosophical quotations

Hobbes. Bet you didn't expect that, eh?

But they left out my favorite, from Camus: “It is the obligation of the intelligent to oppress the stupid, otherwise they will take over the world.”

Too late. That’s what three decades of Relativism gets you.

Here, from Mental Floss via Neatorama, are the 11 greatest philosophical quotations, with arguably enlightening commentary. Bonus pronounciation guide, for those of you who prefer to pronounce things as if you were still living in Bavaria…here’s a tip: I was born near Paris, but I pronounce it “Pare-iss” not “Pay-ree” because I do not live in France. I do not pronounce Indonesia with five syllables either, although you do once you’re there. That goes double for idiomatic English names (eg “It’s spelt ‘SMITH’  but has been pronounced “Williams” since the Battle of Hastings…”) If you do not live in France or Germany or Worcestershire or Bandaniera either, making a point of pronouncing things like the natives do simply makes people write you off (correctly) as one of those beret-wearing pretentiati. And when raincoaster here tells you you’re being pretentious, you know you’re out of bounds.

Ahem.

3. “The life of man [is] solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short.” – Thomas Hobbes (1588 – 1679)
Referring to the original state of nature, a hypothetical past before civilization, Hobbes saw no reason to be nostalgic.

Whereas Rousseau said, “Man is born free, and he is everywhere in chains,” Hobbes believed we find ourselves living a savage, impossible life without education and the protection of the state. Human nature is bad: we’ll prey on one another in the most vicious ways. No doubt the state imposes on our liberty in an overwhelming way. Yet Hobbes’ claim was that these very chains were absolutely crucial in protecting us from one another.

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PSA: 12 Midnite’s Money-Grubbing Cash & Carry Art Sale

12 Midnite Sale Flyers 

12 MIDNITE: Political Pop art pioneer, lowbrow legend and hot rod hooligan hosts sale of vintage art thought long lost

Feb. 5, 2007
Vancouver:
12 MIDNITE, Canada’s best known unknown arist has a checkered history of shifting gears on his career. Coming to the forefront of the thriving political street art movement, by the mid 80s his name became synonomous with gritty urban pop art. Since that time he has been an established member of the elite society of Lowbrow legends, moving through graffiti to pop painting and neon art, running galleries, a hot rod shop and back, while popping up irregularly with guitar in hand, to front an ever-shifting band of punk ex-patriots to shock and amaze fans and foes with his beer-drenched tales of misadventure before disappearing in a blur of flat black and throaty exhaust.
On one magical night only, February 17th, Midnite will host a MONEY-GRUBBING sale of long-lost art: paintings, prints, drawings, graffiti and neon from the early days to fund his latest album, “SWEET TURNS SOUR”  at LUCKY RED, on the bitter end of Vancouver’s historic chinatown.
Those who cough up over 200 dollars will recieve an advance copy of the album along with the smug satisfaction of knowing that BUYING ART MAKES YOU COOL!

12 MIDNITE’S MONEY-GRUBBING CASH AND CARRY ART SALE
Saturday, February 17th: 8PM
LUCKY RED
: Union at Main…on the bitter end of chinatown
www.12midnite.com
midnite at telus dot net

Cadillacs and Cows