Category Archives: Celebrity

Father Guido Sarducci sings the Beatles!

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The great Father Guido Sarducci was probably responsible for turning more coke-addled, Mineshaft-going athiests into alcoholic, community-center-haunting Catholics than any other figure of the late Twentieth Century. Here, in a special appearance at the Vatican, he performs a medly of Beatles tunes to a typically adoring crowd.

Father Guido Sarducci has spent the past thirty years living and working in the United States as gossip columnist and rock critic for the Vatican newspaper L’Osservatore Romano. Recently, he was also appointed Assistant Managing Editor for the Vatican Inquirer.
American audiences first became familiar with Father Sarducci during the golden years of “Saturday Night Live,” when he appeared regularly as a commentator on “Weekend Update.” He has also been a frequent and welcome guest on “The Tonight Show” and “David Letterman.”

Show me the luv at the Bloggie Awards, people!

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Technorati me!

Shakespeare is a virus

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go ahead, make Samuel L. Jackson's day, punk.

or at least a meme. Try this if you dare! Ærchie rushed in where tenured profs fear to type, and here’s a sample:

The quality of WordPress is not strain’d,
It droppeth little hints as the gentle rain
From DrMike upon the wordpress forum: it is twice blest;
It blesseth him that writes and him that reads:
‘Tis mightiest in the blogosphere: it becomes
The throned monarch much better than all competition;
His stats show the force of technorati power,
The attributes of Andy’s widgets surpass all,
Wherein askimet doth ease the fear of spam…

Read the rest of this moving masterwork before Kenneth Branagh buys up the rights.

Show me the luv at the Bloggie Awards, people!

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Technorati me!

blogging: act III, scene 1: an allegory in iambic pentameter (more or less)

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NEED MORE MONKEYS

The Big Question

To blog, or not to blog: that is the question:
Whether ’tis nobler in the blogosphere to suffer
The flames and scrapings of outrageous trolls,
Or to take arms against a web of aggro
And by contacting their ISPs, end it? To ban: to delete;
No more; and by deletion to say we end
The meme-pests and the thousand spam comments
That blogs are heir to, ’tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish’d. To ban: to delete;
To delete: perchance to start a forum: ay, there’s the rub;
For in that Technorati void what YouTubes may rest unblogged
When we have shuffled off this blogging platform,
Must give us pause: there’s the dynamic ranking
That makes calamity of a dead URL;
For who would bear the Monty Python quotes and casino links of trolls,
The support staff’s delay, the corporate parent’s avarice,
The pangs of despised fandom, the copyright infringement enforcement,
The insolence of office workers and the spurns
That regular updating of the dilettantish LiveJournallers takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a critical keystroke? who would Farkers bear,
To grunt and sweat under flourescent lights,
But that the dread of missing a new meme,
The undiscover’d bit bucket from whose bourn
No blogmeister returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those glitches we have
Than fly to platforms that we know not of?
Thus WordPress does make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of e-cool-hunting
Is sicklied o’er with the pale cast of doubt,
And blogs of great pith and merriment
With this regard their RSS feeds turn awry,
And lose the name of action.–Soft you now!
The fair Bloggie Awards! Nymph, in thy nominations
Be all my Top Posts remember’d.

Show me the luv at the Bloggie Awards, people!

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Technorati me!

Drag Queen name generator

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No particular reason I post this, except that it tends to reinforce, and thereby give me a reason to mention, my post about the Bloggie nominations being open now. Vote early, vote often!


Your Drag Queen Name Is:


Connie Lingus

Drag Queen Name Generator

Show me the luv at the Bloggie Awards, people!

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Operation Global Media Domination: the Bloggies are back, and raincoaster’s got ’em (in her sights)

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TIA, not TMIOkay people. Let’s not beat around the bush. You know what I want: I know you know what I want.

Give it to me here.

What You Need to Know

* A “weblog” is defined as a page with dated entries.
* The contest is open to any weblogs that existed for a period of time during the year 2006, so weblogs that were discontinued during 2006 are also eligible.
* Only one nomination form and one finalist voting form may be submitted per person.
* E-mail addresses are required to vote. You must use your own address and confirm the validation e-mail.
* If you attempt to submit a second ballot, your first one will be replaced.
* In the nomination phase:
o URLs are required.
o The maximum number of weblogs you may nominate for a category is three (3) for most categories and four (4) for Weblog of the Year.
o At least three (3) different weblogs total must be nominated.[you know where the blogroll is, right? Use it; I did!]
o There is no limit to the number of categories a weblog may be nominated for.
o Nominees have to fit the category they are placed in.

These rules may change at any time, but they probably won’t.
How It Works

From now until 10:00 PM Eastern Standard Time (GMT-5) on Wednesday, January 10, 2005, anyone can nominate their favorite weblogs.

That Saturday, January 13, three panels of 50 voters will receive an e-mail. It will list the weblogs that have receieved the most nominations in ten categories. They will have until 10:00 PM EST on Thursday, January 18 to privately submit their five favorites (six for Weblog of the Year) for each category. The five (or six for Weblog of the Year) receiving the most votes will become finalists. I (Nikolai Nolan) will only vote for the panel in the case of a tie for fifth place. This panel is on an opt-in policy; there is a checkbox on this form for it.

On Monday, January 22, the finalists will be announced and voting will be open again to choose the winners.

Voting will close at 10:00 PM EST on Monday, January 31. The winners will be posted sometime between Sunday, March 12 and Tuesday, March 14.

Make me proud, people. Make me proud.

PS: apropos of nothing, I would just like to mention that I’ve recently learned a really nifty blowjob trick (equal-opportunity).

PPS: There’s a Nutrigrain bar in it for you if you nominate me.