Category Archives: Celebrity

Operation Global Media Domination: not goodbye, but au revoir

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TIAand here I am again!

Thankfully, it appears that none of you particularly missed me. Hits took a slight dip on Friday, as they always do, but you came back like swallows to Capistrano or, more likely, alcoholics to the saloon, on Sunday. For this I can thank Mark Foley, Mark Foley, Mark Foley, Mark Foley, Mark Foley, the trailer for 300, Ohio Northern University, the FW 109, Colin McEnroe’s Blogging On class at Trinity College in Hartford, CT, Technorati‘s front page (finally broke the top 30,000!), and Steve Irwin, who is still dead at 44.

Note, if you will, that my post about Foley‘s IM transcripts, which quotes from and links to ABC‘s complete transcript, actually outranks the ABC post it refers to in searches on ABC.com.

I don’t know what WordPress is drinking, but I’ll have one!

Black humour

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Che Black

from Rick Mercer‘s blog, and to which I cannot at the moment add anything (because when you turn the television off these Ontarians‘ ears become incredibly sensitive and they cannot abide typing of any nature whatsoever, not that I’m fucking bitter, of which more later).

When I saw the headline in the newspaper I swear to God I heard angels sing. “Conrad Black wants Canadian Citizenship back”. Cue the trumpets – it just doesn’t get much better than this.

Seeing that headline made me so excited I couldn’t even read the bloody thing. I picked up the paper and brought it home like it was a box of chocolates. I didn’t even glance at the first sentence until everything was perfect. The coffee was brewed, my feet were up the pillow behind my neck was just so. This was a moment to be savoured.

And it was a great moment.  As I read that story I don’t think I ever felt more Canadian, because I knew that for the first time in perhaps our nation’s entire history, everyone in Canada was on the same page. Every man woman and child in this nation was united and together. We were gloating as one.

Amen, brother. Amen.

Terry Gilliam: for the love of god watch my new movie!

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GilliamWell, not in so many words.

But Gawker caught him accosting strangers on the sidewalk, imploring them to go see Tideland, his new movie.

Poor man; the only way he can get Brad to return his calls now is to pretend to be yet another of Angie‘s exotic adoptees.

On the brink of financial destruction as ever, Gilliam pleaded with the mob to go see his movie when it opens on Friday, or else it will get kicked out of theaters in a week (or less).

Give the dude credit for not giving up despite years of disappointment; plus, he’s still rocking that ratty vestigial ponytail thing.

Lord of the Rings…by George Lucas

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Well, think about it. After the last three, is this really that far-fetched? Thank god for small, Kiwi mercies.

Viggo vs Evil Elf, a trip in the wayback machine

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Aragorny, eh?

Stop me if you’ve heard this one, but here’s a little something I wrote for North Country Public Radio back in 2002, when several crazy American strangers decided that nothing would make them happier than to fly me back East to meet a Danish-American movie star.

So they did.

There are so many reasons this trip is impossible. So many GOOD reasons. It IS impossible. But of course that has no bearing on the situation whatsoever; we are dealing with Americans here.

It must be pretty good; their previous record hits in a day was 700, and this went to 3500. When the hits are down, mention a Danish-American movie star, Beautiful Agony, Mango Porno, the blogs of murderous Goths, or, apparently, Foley‘s emails. Sure winners, every one. 

It could be some time before I’m back online (although, given that I’m in Ontario, it can be no more than fifteen seconds before I’m in the vicinity of yet another television with the volume up high) so this should tide you over till then. 24,000 words, if memory serves. Plus bonus photos!