You may notice a theme here at the ol’ raincoaster blog; an aquatic, perhaps even amphibious theme: water monsters. And in the pantheon of water monsters, Gustave the Killer Croc ranks very high indeed.

Gustave is just your average Burundian crocodile. He minds his own business, he keeps to himself, he weighs over a ton, he’s the length of a schoolbus, he kills and eats a few fishermen from time to time (estimates range up to 300, although this may be subject to the “African Hyperbole Discount“). There is some hesitation to take issue with his murderous ways, however, because he is indeed quite large and, apparently, impervious to bullets. He even has a colourful French nemesis, just like in the comic books: Patrice Faye, an obsessed Gustave-hunter:

Like Captain Ahab, the self-taught naturalist is preoccupied with one monster in particular: Gustave, the largest, most fabled crocodile in all of Africa—a demonic Loch Ness Monster of incredible proportions and, according to legend, appetite. Gustave is reputed to have devoured hundreds of villagers, snatching them from the banks of the Rusizi and the northeastern shores of Lake Tanganyika. Faye estimates that the massive croc measures 20 feet (6 meters) long, weighs one ton (907 kilograms), and is 60 years old (wild crocs, on average, live to age 45). Trained herpetologists agree that Gustave could be that large and that he is certainly one of the most infamous man-eaters of all time. But Faye’s assertion that Gustave kills for sport—knocking off villager after villager like some killing machine—leaves skeptics clearing their throats.

Well, personally I don’t think reptiles are that bright, but then I don’t think country-western fans are smart enough to walk on their hind legs unassisted either, yet somehow they do! Gustave went underground for a period, but has been seen as recently as February of this year, identified by the numerous and completely ineffectual bulletholes that pocket his scaly hide.

But enough talk, let’s take a look at this beaut: