So it’s not Doctor Tongue, so what. Here’s my Canadian Content for the day. Remember Count Floyd? The only Transylvanian vampire with a Torontonian accent and a turtleneck. They couldn’t afford a werewolf, so he did the howling, too.
Hit Play and enjoy your trip in the Wayback Machine; also, join me in wondering why Andrea Martin isn’t swamped with work. She owned Hedwig and the Angry Inch.
Yeah. You don’t know my family, but they give these guys a run for their money; only thing is, I’d be playing the mother in this scenario.
You see, once, long ago, I was little. And my little sister was littler. And we lived in Winnipeg.
(when writing about Winnipeg it is mandatory to use a macho, I-can-handle-the-weather, Hemingwayesque writing style, otherwise the Wendigo thinks you’re getting cocky)
And we lived in a little house, my little sister and I, and our mother and father, both of whom were rather diminutive, come to think of it, which I didn’t, then. And our little house had a little basement (the story of which I will tell you another time, as it is noncongruent with this one, so that’s why).
And we were in the basement, my sister and I.
I was riding my tricycle around and around the pillars in a figure eight, as one is wont to do when one is four and one is stuck in the basement with one’s little sister.
My little sister was holding onto the bannister on the landing and swinging back and forth, and suddenly, for no particular reason that she can recall, she let go and decided to fly.
Turns out she wasn’t very good at that.
Some time later, my mother entered the room, to find me now making a figure §. around the pillar, the other pillar, and the unconscious body of my little sister.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” my mother screamed.
“But Mom,” I answered, “She was being quiet.”
Now here’s a family that actually surpasses that remarkable benchmark of it’s not my problem-ism. from SmallHandsIck via Gawker:
My mother called me on the phone Monday, “Rachael you were right the play starts at 7pm so we’ll have to meet earlier– an hour earlier than I said.”
“OK.” I responded, and then continued, “Oh, yeah I just remembered I have to call Dad.”
“Well, he’s in the emergency room, so I don’t know if he’s going to pick up.”
“What?”
“Maybe, he’ll pick up. I just talked to him.”
“What happened to him?”
“Hmm? Oh. Um. I don’t know. He’s in some sort of excrutiating pain. You know your father.”
“Were you going to tell me my father was in the hospital.”
“I did tell you.”
“Only because I brought up that I had to call him.”
“Rachael, your father was never coming to the theatre with us anyway.”
Fabulous cast, horrible movie, fabulous anecdotes.
Airtraffic controllers versus pilots, via Fark. A sample:
Allegedly the German air controllers at
Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-
tempered lot. They, it is alleged, not only
expect one to know one’s gate parking location,
but how to get there without any assistance
from them. So it was with some amusement
that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following
exchange between Frankfurt ground control
and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird
206.
Speedbird 206: “Frankfurt, Speedbird 206
clear of active runway.”
Ground: “Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha
One-Seven.”
The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway
and slowed to a stop.
Ground: “Speedbird, do you not know where
you are going?”
Speedbird 206: “Stand by, Ground, I’m looking
up our gate location now.”
Ground (with quite arrogant impatience):
“Speedbird 206, have you not been to
Frankfurt before?”
Speedbird 206 (coolly): “Yes, twice in 1944,
but it was dark,…… and I didn’t land.”
DC Lugi is back, and he’s got Christopher Walken’s mother:
“It’s a nice little thing we got here.
You mess it up, I take your eyes.”
Cross-posted on the Shebeen Club website too.
What: The Shebeen Club : Creativity Tips for Writers
When: 7-9pm, Tuesday, October 17 (3rd Tuesday of each month)
Where: The Shebeen, behind the Irish Heather, 217 Carrall Street in Gastown
Why: Up your creativity with one of the world’s best creativity catalysts
Who: Contact lorraine.murphyatgmaildotcom for more information
How(much)? $15 includes dinner and a drink
Background: Each month The Shebeen Club gathers to catch up, gossip, eat, drink and learn about literature in all its many versions. We’ve featured Ann Vicente, maker of fine art books, actor and speech coach Jesse Jhames reading James Joyce, and many talented local authors including Robert Chaplin, James Sherrett, Sylvia Lim, comicbook empresario Sandford Tuey, and poet Lucan Charchuk, among many illustrious others.
Heir to the popular Stammtisch, created by Christoph Kapp of McGraw Hill, the Shebeen Club revives the warm camaraderie and vicious rivalry that has characterized all great literary meetings from the days of the Algonquin Round Table to last week at Gawker. The pen is mightier than the sword, so every third Tuesday of the month ditch the remote, stuff a messenger bag with manuscripts, adjust your berets, and head down to the Shebeen.
The Procedure: Sink into a warm velvet banquette and enjoy our programme: your basic meet-and-mingle from 7-7:30, followed by a riveting, yet brief presentation, followed by Q&A and then breaking up into casual groups for wandering, boozy reminiscences of the time you snubbed Jay McInerney in the airport. A fine dinner of bangers and mash or vegetarian pasta from the kitchen of the Irish Heather, plus one glass of wine, beer or pop are included in the $15.
This Month: Our next Shebeen Club meeting is this Tuesday, October 17th from 7-9pm, and our featured speaker is Linda Naiman, internationally-known creativity instructor.
Linda Naiman will present strategies for cultivating creativity used by writers, artists, entrepreneurs and scientists, to help you keep your own creativity fresh and alive. Topics include: The distinction between creativity and problem-solving, the right-brain myth, the genius myth, and principles that encourage creativity.
This is an exercise-based workshop, so be ready to participate! Pencils and notebooks out, ladies and gentlemen!
Bio: Linda Naiman is founder of Creativity at Work.com , a Vancouver-based coaching, consulting and training group at the forefront of transformational change in organizations. She is co-author of Orchestrating Collaboration at Work, and is known internationally for pioneering arts-based learning and development in organizations. Her work has been documented in several books: Art-based Approaches: A Practical Handbook to Creativity at Work (Chemi 2006), Wake Me Up When the Data Is Over: How Organizations Use Stories to Drive Results (Silverman 2006), and Artful Creation: Learning Tales of Arts-in-Business (Darsø 2004). Her work has also been featured in The Vancouver Sun, The Globe and Mail, and Canadian Business Magazine. Linda is an associate business coach at the University of British Columbia, and an adjunct faculty member of the Banff Centre Leadership Lab. She holds a BFA from California College of the Arts, and a diploma in Graphic design from Emily Carr Institute of Art and Design.
For more information, contact: Lorraine Murphy, raincoaster media ltd www.shebeenclub.com or lorraine.murphyatgmaildotcom 778-235-0592
raincoaster 