Good morning, possums, and welcome to the latest in our Completely Arbitrarily Named Briefing Bingos. There is a unifying concept, if a completely arbitrary one because everything is meaningless and nothing matters anymore, and also because the post needs a title in order to go live, but the title has to be chosen before the briefing happens because time is linear, but nobody has guessed it so far. The concept, not the nature of Time.
Your guesses can go in the comment section for a chance to win fabulous, completely imaginary prizes. Nobody has even attempted this yet, but we’re getting to the point where there’s no excuse. Gonna get pretty obvious soon. Much like whether or not we’re getting an election this year.
It’s not easy being green
We’ll plant 2 billion trees over the next ten years. That’s it. That’s the tweet.
Here’s our video, starting fifteen minutes late today so you get to mark your “Starts more than ten minutes late” square right off the bat. 557 people watching right now. By 2pm that’s gotten up to 1500, but Fridays are always lower than Tuesdays for some reason. It’s not like people are off to the cottage on Fridays these days.
Today is the sixth in our Mysterious Nomenclature Series: have you guessed the over-arching theme yet? We can give you this hint: it was chosen completely arbitrarily and has nothing whatsoever to do anything. Just like everything else this whole year.
Snooky
Muddy
Grumpy
Sparky
Heavy Metal
Happy
And here’s our actual video for the Zoolander And Co Show today:
On Parliament Hill, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau discusses the federal government’s response to the ongoing COVID-19 (coronavirus disease) pandemic. He is joined virtually by federal ministers Patty Hajdu (health) and Dominic LeBlanc (intergovernmental affairs), as well as by Dr. Theresa Tam, Canada’s chief public health officer, and Dr. Howard Njoo, deputy chief public health officer.Continue reading →
Yes, yet another in our mysterious, riddle-iffic series of oddly-named Covid-19 Briefings. So far we’ve had
Muddy (today)
Grumpy
Sparky
Heavy Metal
Happy
Guessed the connection yet?
Mud season is definitely here, as Buddy the dog and all the carpets in the house can confirm. Buddy is, of course, our Ottawa office manager, and he is supervising today’s briefing bingo from the luxurious confines of his corner office.
Buddy is VERY concerned about the thrombosis issue with the AstraZenica vaccine.
Mark your first square: Technical Difficulties, as my internet crapped out right off the get-go.
Our video is here:
Prime Minister Justin Trudeau provides an update in Ottawa on the federal government’s response to the ongoing COVID-19 (coronavirus disease) pandemic. He is joined virtually by federal ministers Patty Hajdu (health) and Anita Anand (public services and procurement), as well as by Dr. Theresa Tam, Canada’s chief public health officer, and Dr. Howard Njoo, deputy chief public health officer. The prime minister announces that Pfizer will move up its delivery of 5 million vaccine doses originally scheduled to arrive in late summer to June. Canada is now on track to receive 9.6 million doses of the Pfizer vaccine that month. Trudeau and the ministers also face questions on the new guidelines for the AstraZeneca COVID-19 vaccine. Canada’s National Advisory Committee on Immunization (NACI) has modified its advice concerning the vaccine, recommending that it only be used on people over the age of 55. The recommendation comes following reports from Europe of rare but serious blood clots that have occurred after administration of the AstraZeneca vaccine.
And we’re off. Squares: facial hair, mask, vaccines, Somebody’s In A Good Mood Today (not a square, but should be). And Begins In English and Vocal Malfunction or whatever I called that square too. And AstraZenica. Blue Suit square too. We never do find out what colour the shoes are, because the camera operator cuts off the exiting shot at the knees. Very clever. VERY CLEVER. I see what you did there.
“Got your backs” as we knew would be here. And now we have Pfizer and Moderna as well. Speaking of which, someone’s put what they claim is the full mRNA sequence of the Moderna vaccine up on Github. Could be poodle sperg for all I know, don’t even have time to look, but here’s your link. Enjoy? Don’t say I never did nuthin’ for ya!
it was sequenced by stanford university students, afaik they got the green light from moderna.https://t.co/nPtQZ7rOtW
Oh shoot me, a Facebook Live event. SOME OF US ARE PERMABANNED YOU KNOW, a brand new kind of marginalization. Cut off from Federal government Covid info sessions because they’re done on a privately-owned platform instead of done on a government website first and ALSO streamed to the privately-owned platform. Fine. Whatever. Nobody listens to me.
We’re a little annoyed this morning as our coffee is not ready yet, but here we go. Yep, still with our inscrutable Mystery Theme that’s been going for a few episodes so far. Guess it yet? We’ve had:
Grumpy (today)
Sparky
Heavy Metal
Happy
Ever have one of those days you’re just angry at the world?
Every now and then I remember that line from Fran Lebowitz about never trusting a culture that supplies a helper for hamburger but requires a writer to pack her own suitcases.
On Parliament Hill, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau discusses the federal government’s response to the ongoing COVID-19 (coronavirus disease) pandemic. He is joined virtually by federal ministers Anita Anand (public services and procurement) and Dominic LeBlanc (intergovernmental affairs).
And our Bingo cards, and no we didn’t do a new one. Not sure there’s much point as they’re doing fewer and fewer of these. Trudeau may blow them off entirely, which would be a huge mistake if you axe me, which of course you did not. The Covid briefings are basically his chance to remind Canadians of all the ways his government has looked after them, and position himself against whatever bloviating Erin “Outhouse” O’Toole and Jagmeet “What He Said” Singh have been up to lately. With an election essentially inevitable in months or weeks it would be foolish to give up this bully pulpit.
Space may be flat, but there’s no reason our politics should be, possums. Welcome to today’s slightly off-centre, possibly infinite, arguably curved Covid-19 Briefing Bingo aka The Zoolander Show, coming to you live from yet another anonymous briefing room somewhere in downtown Ottawa.
Room 200 Sir John A. Macdonald Building 144 Wellington Street
Although he, apparently, is not.
Whyyyyyyyy does the Canadian government love QR codes so much? Are they stuck in 2011 forever? They’ve got them prominently displayed on the backs of chairs at the briefing, but they’re out of focus so none of the viewers can click on them.
Meanwhile, on Twitter things are getting interesting. wHaT cOuLd PoSsiBly gO WrOnG?
513 watching the CPAC video, because by now everyone knows he’s always late.
And your bingo cards are here and yes, I forgot to get you a new one. The old ones are still plenty relevant, as I was reminded at 3am last night when I got into an argument about Uighurs on Twitter (they’ve been A Thing at these briefings for months, possums, it’s not like Trudeau has shied away from discussing the issue). But oh yes, we were talking about the cards:
raincoaster 