how to turn a man gay

I’ve had enough of boring old to-dos. How to wash your hair. How to save money on groceries. How to train a wolverine to fetch. Whatever. This, however, is truly different.

From Shakespeare’s Sister, via Pharyngula. How to use your uterus to turn men gay! Click through to their site to read the whole thing; the only question left unanswered is, does the disco ball also function as an IUD?

“No woman in the history of politics has used her womb like Nancy Pelosi.” — Harvard Law School student and conservative misogynist douchebag Ben Shapiro, who obviously doesn’t understand that use of the womb is an important part of generating the radical gay agenda that is shot out of feminazi cooters, so of course she has to use her womb a lot. Duh.

I’m sort of breaking the Feminazi Cooter League‘s code of secrecy to do this, but let me just illustrate how the process works, to clear up any confusion:

Is the disco ball an IUD too? That would be awesome!

hymns of the 49th parallel: Simple and Love is Everything by kd lang

Hymns of the 49th Parallel is possibly the most perfect album Canada has ever produced, and this two-song promotional video may just be beautiful enough to do it justice. I’ve followed kd lang since she was a two-bit Edith Prickley impersonator bopping around on Tommy Hunter‘s show [originally wrote “bopping around on Tommy Hunter” but realized that, to non-Canadians, this would give entirely the wrong impression!] and her voice has just gotten better over time. This lovely black and white video brings these two lovely and contemplative songs to life in a uniquely Canadian way. I hope you like them (if you can’t hear them, go somewhere you can; don’t just sit there!).

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quiz: which classic screen goddess are you?

Boy, it’s hella hard to find filler posts when YouTube is down! But here’s a good one. Funny, though: last time I was Mae West with Audrey Hepburn rising…now it’s the other way around. Have I suddently become less fucking vulgar or something?

You scored as Audrey Hepburn. Pure class and sophistication you can do anything with style. You have an intellegence and integrity that will get you anywhere. You can adapt your personality to your surroundings. Everyone looks to you for your style. Like Audrey, make sure you appreciate when the time comes to step out of the spotlight.comment and rate this quiz… thankyou!

Audrey Hepburn
 
80%
Mae West
 
75%
Rita Hayworth
 
75%
Vivien Leigh
 
55%
Judy Garland
 
50%
Marilyn Monroe
 
40%

Which Classic Screen Goddess are you? (pics)
created with QuizFarm.com

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Cthulhu!

 

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Cthulhu!
from the Mechanical Contrivium

Nice tats!

  1. Cthulhu cannot burp – there is no gravity to separate liquid from gas in its stomach.
  2. Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are Cthulhu.
  3. The number one cause of blindness in the United States is Cthulhu.
  4. 99 percent of the pumpkins sold in the US end up as Cthulhu.
  5. Cthulhu invented the wheel in the fourth millennium BC.
  6. Peanuts and Cthulhu are beans!
  7. Apples are covered with a thin layer of Cthulhu.
  8. at least unless he buys you dinner first!In Japan it is considered rude to talk with Cthulhu in your mouth!
  9. It took Cthulhu 22 years to build the Taj Mahal.
  10. Cthulhu once came third in a Charlie Chaplin lookalike contest.

Oh dear god, please don’t let #7 be true!!!

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best presents in history: dick in a box and box in a box

Justin Timberlake, something tells me you just might get lucky…and this time, with a girl who can sing, too! Here are the best-matched Christmas presents since O. Henry‘s great short story, Gift of the Magi.

This is a video response to Timberlake’s SNL video Dick in a Box, which you can see in its uncensored glory here. “Backstage at the CMA’s,” I mean, WTF???

And now, Box in a Box:

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