fun with loopy Japanese art

Here, straight from Japanprobe, we have Sentimental Journey, a tasty wad of fresh, chewy video from Nagi Noda, who also claims responsibility for the demented poodle exercise video we posted earlier, because we must have been drunk or something. In fairness, this is quite an achievement; with a cast just slightly smaller than that of Cecil B. DeMille’s Cleopatra, Noda manages to outdo George Lucas in the special effects field without, you know, using any special effects. I have only one question:

Why does that woman walk like she just peed herself?

And here, also from Japanprobe, is what Japan thinks happens when Japanese women marry Westerners. Gee, thanks, I always wondered where Danny DeVito came from.

Danny DeVito, you get back in that bathtub right now!

halloween costume of the year

Alex P. Keaton and his dream dateThere was a lot of competition for this year’s top spot. The Malcolm Gladwell, being Canadian, enjoyed home team advantage, as did the Alex P. Keaton. The Tara Reid, we imagine, was popular with a certain set (an unmatched, lopsided set), and looking around the Downtown Eastside it seemed clear to me that the most popular costumes by far were the Novelty Whore and the Hipster. Unfortunately, as this is the Downtown EastSide, nobody looked as if they were in costume; everyone here dresses like an extra from Hedwig and the Angry Inch anyway. Boys, if you’re dressed like Bing Crosby, you’re not in costume. Girls, if you’re dressed like the girl in a Benny Hill sketch and you’re on East Hastings, you’re not in costume, you’re in mufti (muff-ti?). But it certainly was amusing to watch the confused looks on all those women’s faces when the guys in the cars would try to strike a deal. That’ll teach you to wait for the light at Cordova and Columbia, missy!

But finally, we have a winner. Here, via BoingBoing, is the bestest little Halloween costume ever.

a tadpole of the Elder Gods

the history of tentacle porn

I freely admit this doesn’t do it for me, but there must be millions out there it DOES do it for, and for those millions I freely post the History of Tentacle Porn. I do find it fascinating that most of this is a response to overly-specific porn definitions.

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Swing Blade: Swingers meets Sling Blade

I normally avoid picking from the most popular videos on YouTube, but this is so funny I cannot resist. If, however, you see me posting napping kittens or puppies, please feel free to beat me severely about the head and neck.

Made in 1997, this mock movie trailer has Billy Bob Thornton‘s character, Karl, from the film “Sling Blade” entering the world of Vince Vaughn and Jon Favreau‘s “Swingers.” Written by Chris Cox, Matt Sloan, and Darren Des Voigne.

Pentecostals want to spend taxes de-gaying Norwegian bunnies

Gay dogs do it doggie styleThat’s about it, really.

Except that the Lutherans, by contrast, simply wish the Norwegians to burn in Hell, rather than waste any time in attempts at animal re-heterosexualizing first.

I guess they don’t like waiting.

A Lutheran priest said he hoped the organisers would “burn in hell,” and a Pentecostal priest lashed out at the exhibition, saying taxpayers’ money used for it would have been better spent helping the animals correct “their perversions and deviances”.

To be fair, this one looks like he's on the DLGot this from ArchieArchive‘s report on the Oslo exhibition of animal homosexuality. It’s a really interesting report, and the links provide some much-needed insight into the very nature of human character.

Big horn sheep “need to have sex with their own fellows just to be accepted. And by being accepted they are making up very important social relations which later give them better access to females,” says Mr Soeli

So Hollywood really IS run by sheep. That would explain why nobody’s bought my script yet. Maybe I should have my agent fuck them…oh right. Anybody know a pretty, gay agent? 

And look, here’s Annie and Susan, explained:

Among swans and flamingos there have been cases of two females living together using sexual contact with males purely to reproduce.  

And, look over there, behind the bearded moss: Tom and John!

Strap in!

Or is it Lance and Matchew?

It has been reported that in certain bird species males double up, allowing them to control a larger territory than a heterosexual couple, which in turn serves to attract more females.

Looks like it’s working…

Tom Cruise, So in love