So Courtney, what did you used to do for a living?
Really, who knew she was so literal-minded?
from Go Fug Yourself:
…the implementation of an unexpected hair-hook is utterly great. Think of it: If at the end of the night her handlers can’t pry her out of that confusing gold lame jacket with fur trim, they can just give up and hang her entire body up in the closet.
Why, yes it was. The Girl Most Likely To, it was called, and she did, too. Kind of a comically morbid and vindictive updating of the Georgy Girl story; every chubby teenager’s favorite Midnite Movie O’ The Week, well, next to Satan’s School for Girls. That shit just never gets old. I remember a great scene where she’s upstairs at some old farmhouse and gets her old cheerleading rival to demonstrate a series of backflips…and opens the window at the end of the hall…
As she lay bandaged in the recovery room, Joyner was poisoned by a nurse anesthetist who believed Joyner had stolen her boyfriend back in high school some 30 years ago, authorities say.
Imagine what would happen to Special K (not to mention 
most of Hollywood including the music industry) once the word gets out that the jilted ex-girlfriends of men you’ve long since forgotten could be the ones behind the needle. And those surgical masks make it very difficult to recognize people…coincidence? I think if you do the research you’ll find a disgruntled, now-middle-aged jiltista was behind their design.
The AP via the Guardian has all the gory details. Enjoy!
It’s true, what CollegeHumor says: spammers give the best advice. Their missives are, in their incontrovertable wisdom, akin to the Dufflepuds Chorus in The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (we are all about the literary allusions lately!) in their perfect logic. “Getting dark now. Always does at night. When a chap’s hungry, he likes some vicutals,” etc, etc.
I challenge you to take issue with any of these pearls of wisdom all the way from Nigeria:
1nvest N0w? WHhy Wait@!? Laadies luve AMan Wit4 hge p3nis! Don1t st0p! She’s loves 1twhen U cumm h4rd! Bigg moneys 1n #oils in ur fture. Reed mure! Viiagr4 make grrrrls yip with JOy@:0 Deliciblle excotic l4dies wiithh^ titt5 lik3 huugge d1cks(,< f33l btter% with moore h^air! roggaine Che3ap!$$$ Hi honey, it’s Mom. You should call your sister. She misses you.
From nine till eleven!!!
from Gawker, where the Jersey Devil is reminded that the only way to get to Dachau is by train. Ah, good times, good times…
This is not the first we’ve heard of the pervy Potter perp. No indeedy, not. A pattern is starting to emerge, one that we should have anticipated from the moment he flung a condom atop Dame Diana Rigg‘s head.
The boy is insatiable!
Several sources agree: first, there was the evidence from Ricky Gervais‘ backstage candid camera, then came a comment casually dropped by Kelly and another dropped by Metro, and now we see that the Ins and Outs post (yeah, that‘s what I’d call ins and outs, too) about Daniel Radcliffe’s Match.com profile has made it to the Top Blogs in WordPress.
That, my friends, is corroboration.
raincoaster 