Category Archives: Entertainment

Star Trek and the Red Jersey of Death: the math

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lolredshirts

At last a twisted genius has applied some higher math skillz to the age-old question of just how deadly is the red Starfleet uniform?

Answer: pretty damn deadly.

Probability of a red-shirt casualty= 53%
14% of fights ended in a fatality (with a 72% chance the fatality wore a red shirt)
Probability of a red-shirt “incident” when Kirk has a “conquest” = 12%

Which leads to some truly fascinating conclusions:

As the data shows, Captain Kirk “making contact” with alien women has an impact on the crew’s survival. The red-shirt death rate is higher when a fight breaks out than when Kirk meets a woman and a fight breaks out. Yet the analysis shows that meeting Kirk meeting women only happens in 30% of the missions.

Conclusion:
We can reliably improve the survivability of the red-shirted crewmen by only exploring peaceful, female-only planets (android and alien females included).

I particularly love the Powerpoint presentation. Surely, surely, those wizened old Admirals would enjoy the slides as well, for getting in those needed snoozes. Yes, the whole intricate and elegant article on the morbid red shirt is really a stalking horse, to distract you from the fact that, like it or not, you’re reading a comparative analysis of bar graphs vs Powerpoint vs pie charts. It’s as if the anonymous Fellini of the flipchart from Ross Perot‘s campaign finally busted a nerdish nut and this is the offspring.

May he live long and, yes, prosper.

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Cthulhu Ctholouring Book

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Cthulhu monsters by mail

Awwwwwwww, isn’t He adorable? So Cthute! Hat-tip to Cobwebs for this one.

Monster by Mail is as bizarre a fundraiser as I’ve ever seen, and as you know, we’re all about the bizarre and somewhat about the raising of funds here (didja notice the Paypal button? Support Operation Global Media Domination Now! Currently the status of OGMD is Global Media Slightly Annoyed, and that simply won’t do!) so here we are, posting about it.

It’s a natural, really. The birth of a baby brings great joy to the family and, not infrequently, thoughts of grim death, particularly at three in the morning when you’ve got a big meeting at eight and the sprog has been trying out for the Olympic Yodelling team for the past four hours.

And it is a fact universally acknowledged that a young, artsie, American couple in possession of a new baby must be in want of a bit of spare cash.

So Monster by Mail was born.

Summer is Here! And you know what that means: BRAAAINS! This round of Monster By Mail is a good-old fashioned standby: Zombies. Here’s how it works. You give me a name for your Zombie and I’ll draw it. You’ll get the original art in the mail within a few days. For an extra ten spot, I’ll make a video of the creation of your monster. And for the best value, choose the Mondo Monster Package* which gets you art, video and a “See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Eat Brains” Zombie T-shirt with your order. (See it right here.) (And yes, I can do cartoonish zombie portraits if you ask nicely and provide a decent photo.) So what are you waiting for? Grab a blunt object and let’s start killing… er, drawing some zombies!

And now, the colouring book! Why didn’t I think of this for my birthday? Colouring in a Cthulhu colouring book has got to be the best way I can think of to prevent creeps from talking to you on the bus!



Zombie Letters from e-zombie.com

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US National Sandwich Month: what’s your dream sandwich?

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Sandwich art

Go on, you know how to use the Comments section!

UPI, in a healthy-eating initiative, has spread the word that August is National Sandwich Month in the US, if not in the land of the Sandwich‘s birth. And indeed, the sandwich is an invention to be celebrated: you’ll note there is no such thing as “National Carpal Tunnel Syndrome Month” or “National Misogyny Month”.

With or without mayonnaise, seafood- or meat-based, buttered or margarined or dry, the sandwich is truly one of the highest achievements of the culinary arts and should be rightly honoured in its course.

As with anything that lays as close to the human heart as the sandwich, we all have our own preferences and prejudices. We all have our unique tastes. And I invite you to contribute yours, twofold, in the comments section.

I’ll go first:

1) Clooney, raincoaster, Rickman.

2) Croissant, avocado, shrimp, mayo, sprouts.

Yeah, bit of a comedown, so to speak. But a girl has to keep her strength up somehow!

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quiz: how weird are you?

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Really, am I alone in finding this a little low?


You Are 64% Weirdo


You’re a pretty weird soul, and you often can’t help but notice how strange you are.

You simply see things very differently. So you live your life in a very unusual way.

Who cares if you don’t fit in? Just remember to embrace your inner weirdo… because there’s no hiding it.

Are You A Weirdo?

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Samuel L. Jackson’s New Year’s Resolutions

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Samuel L. Jackson. Sam is the man!

Basically, this is How to Be Badass 101, and who better to teach it than the king of Badass, Samuel L, eh? I’m stealing it from HighAdventureGames because they stole this from me and I’m badass. We take names and follow up.

Now, I know you might find it shocking that someone as cool and together as myself has New Year’s resolutions but believe it or not, there are things that even Samuel L. Jackson can improve upon. Forthwith – if I could have a little music, please. At the top of my list:

  • “Continue to kick ass“
  • And then I hope to “Be as bad as I know I can be“.
  • Also, to “Really put it out there, and by it I mean Sammy’s mojo”.
  • In addition, I plan to “Give it as good as I get it“, “Be all that and more“, and “Lose my shyness, vis a vis the rocket in my pocket“.
  • Plus, I plan to “Work my voodoo on the lady fans“, “Take a thorn out of some cat’s paw” and “Build a shrine to my own bad ass“.
  • Then, it’s time to “Give the demons what for“, “Spare the rod and spoil the face“, and “Continue to kick ass“.
  • After which, I’ll “Show the bad men what it’s all about“, “Release a dove from a ghetto rooftop“, and “Cradle a newborn baby in the ruins of a church“.
  • Finally, this year, I will “Stick it to all the suckas“.
  • And I’m gonna “Show the Man that I mean business“.
  • And I’m gonna “Take a computer class“.

[Saturday Night Live, December 1997]

Sadly, it appears that, although I am certainly badass, I am not Samuel L. Jackson. Well, who could be? The world could not stand twice that much cool.

 


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