Operation Global Media Domination: i luv Brian Atene

TIAAnd also Steve Carrell and Stephen Colbert. But me wuvs Brian Atene best of all. Why? Check it out! I may have momentarily gone down six hundred thousand places on Technorati thanks to switching from raincoaster.wordpress.com to raincoaster.com, but I am #1 on Google when you’re looking for a horrific trainwreck of a video audition for Stanley Kubrick (CUE-brick!). It’s really just a matter of time until the G-gle catches on to the second in the series, Brian Atene 2.0: Good Day Mr. Kubrick 2006!

In related famewhoredom news, I applied for a job at Gridskipper, although my current state of penury precludes travel on anything grander than the Seabus, so wish me luck. Somebody’s been checking my Gawker Comments, so go me! Is that “break a keyboard?” Although I debate whether it was smart of me to give them the link to the tag “Operation Global Media Domination but not the one to Travel“. Live and learn; they can, presumably, operate a sidebar.

Also, got links on two pretty darned impressive sites this week. Not only are they among the Technorati darlings, but they’re readable besides, and Pharyngula is almost entirely focused on Squid and politics. Believe me, it’s extremely tempting to reference every single post in that one, but so far I’ve restricted myself to the Cthlhu license plate and the Octoporn. I am itching, however, to do something on the Mystery Blob from the Fjord that Time Forgot…all in good time, all in good time. Full disclosure: I am the one that dropped the link in the comments section (Blog Pimping 101) but in that case I had to link to my blog because the damn computer was overloaded and wouldn’t let me go to YouTube directly. I hope the vid worked for them.

Ace of Spades is the second new blog to give me a link, and they picked the Brian Atene 2.0 update. There’s no way that is the real Brian Atene, but we can only hope he grew up to be that funny. When is Defamer going to catch on to this? I emailed them days ago, dammit! When is Defamer going to say thanks?

In other news, posting is going to slow right down around here, because I am SICKSICKSICK (yeah, what else is new? Har, har) and tomorrow I have to take a teenager to Fright Night at the PNE, thanks to wrobitaille from Waiterblog Forum, who just up and gave me free tickets, cuz that’s how he rolls, yo. At least if I barf I can blame it on the icky zombies.

Wish me luck.

Swing Blade: Swingers meets Sling Blade

I normally avoid picking from the most popular videos on YouTube, but this is so funny I cannot resist. If, however, you see me posting napping kittens or puppies, please feel free to beat me severely about the head and neck.

Made in 1997, this mock movie trailer has Billy Bob Thornton‘s character, Karl, from the film “Sling Blade” entering the world of Vince Vaughn and Jon Favreau‘s “Swingers.” Written by Chris Cox, Matt Sloan, and Darren Des Voigne.

fundraiser at Rare and Welcome to the blogroll Urban Diner

happy meals from happy chefs (oh god, if they see this caption I'm toast!)Background on the event is here.

 The MC: Tamara Taggart, CTV

The Music: Adam Woodall

The chefs:

  • Robert Belcham (C, Fuel)
  • Brian Fowke (Rare One)
  • Sean Heather (The Irish Heather, Salt, Pepper)
  • Colin Johnson (Parkside)
  • Neil Wyles (Hamilton Street Grill)

The catch:

  • All local ingredients
  • All items made from ingredients procured the same day

The menu:

  • Champagne & canapes
  • cauliflower & truffle shooter
  • pumpkin ravioli • beurre noisette emulsion • amarettini-sage crumble
  • fenel risotto • neon squid • malt-cured oak-smoked bacon
  • duck soup • black beluga lentils & evergreen organic autumn vegetables
  • butter-sauteed sablefsh • tarragon • chantrelles & porcini • apple puree
  • Blue Goose organic beef • Dungeness mashed potatoes • red wine reduction
  • Okanagan apples five ways • Gala • Ambrosia • Granny Smith
  • local cheeses & charcuterie

Thanks to my good friends and sugar-daddy and -mommy Raj Taneja and Nina Sohi I was able to get to this, the finest meal I have had in many years. I’m cross-posting this from the Waiterblog forum because I am A) sick and B) lazy, and because I want to welcome Waiterblog‘s parent site Urban Diner to the blogroll. Like you didn’t know both of those fun facts about me already! But I’m already running into problems, as I imagine much of social and single Vancouver will be (before the latte hits) trying to keep my synapses routing me through the Urban Jungle of Urban Mixer, Urban Diner, and Urban Fare. We need a new word, yo, for verily, we are easily confused.

the glamourous aftermath

It was a fantastic event. Tamara Taggert was an enthusiastic and friendly emcee, and every one of the silent auction items was sold. The event raised a truly useful sum for a very good cause, and it was, quite frankly, the best meal I have had in years, course after course of it. An example: I could happily dine on the pumpkin ravioli with beurre noisette daily until June. The wines were up to the same rarified (ha!) standard, and were an education in themselves: I thought I didn’t like Chardonnay! The matchings were outstanding, and the Muscat comes in for special mention.

A big shout out to the Urban Mixers Nina Sohi, who bought me a ticket, and Raj Taneja, who bought me wine, for lo I am way poor; without these two I would never be able to sample the delights of a meal like this. I just had to get that out of my system.

Tina looked beautiful, and it added so much to the evening to have her there. Neil and Brian should have their own tv show: why not cut out the middle man? And it was delightful to share a table with Tara and her friend (whose name escapes me…did I mention the wine?).

neon squid, baby!

Trivia for fans of the Neon Squid: It’s actually a flying squid! It was marvelous, of course.

Tina’s family will now be able to hire a full-time nanny, enabling her to devote her vitality to fighting both the disease of breast cancer and the side-effects of aggressive chemotherapy, which can be dangerous and draining in themselves.

Brian Atene 2.0: Good Day Mr. Kubrick 2006

Stolen from BoingBoing, but I’m sure it’ll be all over in twelve hours. Click here for the original, perhaps the most perfect, and most perfectly amusing, bad audition ever captured on film; the fellow in the video in this post claims to be the contemporary, 43-year-old Brian Atene, and it’s just so cheaply amusing that I’m not going to question it even though the fellow looks nothing whatsoever like Brian Atene.

Me so hoooooorny. Me love you long time!

The real Brian Atene, if he knows what’s good for him, should just let this ride. The last thing he needs is to go toe to toe with somebody this mean and this much bigger than him.

advice show o’ the day: Calls for Cthulhu!

When you’re at the end of the line and you just don’t know where to turn, you might as well throw yourself into the insatiable tentacles of the utter horror which is the Great Old Ones. In fairness, Cthulhu is a more attractive host than Howie Mandel.