Category Archives: Entertainment

Do You Doubt I Am Rich?

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Is this the greatest infomercial teaser of all time? Yes; yes, it may well be.

His name is takeittothebank and his game is putting the “ass” in “class.”

Have you ever wondered how the other half lives? Wonder no more. It lives like ME. Every morning I eat caviar even though I do not like caviar!!! Would I do this if I were not RICH!?!?! The fillings in my teeth are gold. Are the fillings in your teeth gold!?!? They are not. The caviar I do not want for breakfast I feed to my cat. What does your cat eat!?!? Cat food?!?! I pity your cat. Mine is the world you live in when you are RICH!!! CARS!!! WOMEN!!! STATUES!!! CAVIAR!!! Perhaps you are beginning to understand. If so, I welcome you. HELLO!!! Now let me ask you this: Do you know the pleasure of owning a tie made of genuine SILK!!! I do!!! Now let me ask you this: would I call myself “THE BANK” if I did not have lots of money? I would not. That would be ridiculous!!! But I am not ridiculous. I am RICH!!! I will ask you one last time: DO YOU DOUBT I AM RICH!?!?!

This is like Donald Trump‘s long-lost Desi twin.

From the whoreanus outfit and grooming to the chubby, inert harem, to the amateur porn-worthy direction, not to mention the maniacal, self-deluded laugh, this could well be the greatest, most inspirational infomercial of all time, greater than the great Aleksey Vayner’s Impossible Is Nothing, even if it ISN’T an infomercial. It appears to be a YouTube channel. I wonder why he hasn’t signed on in a year…must be out being rich somewhere, right? Monte Carlo? Goa? Paris? Dubai?

Atlantic City?

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The Definitive Act of the Twenty-First Century

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For Realz.

And that is: not “quoting Tionna Smalls.” Although that’s a close runner-up. No; no indeed, the definitive act of the Twenty-First Century is, naturally, something that first surfaced on YouTube. Because you, the reader, are so finely attuned to nuance and Zeitgeist and other foreign-sounding words, you are reading it here before it registers on the consciousness of the tastemakers at Gawker Media, the Times, or CBC. Ahead of the curve, in front of the pack, on the top of the heap, and (perhaps?) good for loaning me twenty bucks till the end of the month?

Yes, that is the raincoaster blog devotee!

And just for you we present the following video, another Brian Atene monologue, but this one may be somewhat familiar in parts, if you’ve survived high school English. I had all of the great “To be or not to be” speech memorized by the time I was ten because it was on the cover of my best friend’s mother’s cookie tin and it would always take her ten or fifteen minutes to talk her mom into letting us get at the Peek Freans, so I had plenty of time to go over the lines. I used to recite them to her poodle when I was pet-sitting, just to discombobulate it.

It was a nasty little dog, and I’m a bitch. What can I say?

So here it is, the video containing the plan for the definitive act of the twenty-first century. And what might that act be, you wonder? Well, I’ll tell you. But I’ll tell you over the jump, because I’m like that.

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Obama demands change: video

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What Obama wants, Obama gets:

FYI normal blogging will return shortly, now that lolebrity.net is up and running and domain-name-pimped out.

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Surfwise, Livedumb

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I’ve been waiting for this to hit YouTube: the trailer for a documentary of an archetypal American character, the freewheeling intellectual.

As a somewhat freewheeling intellectual myself, I feel no hesitation at saying that Dorian “Doc” Paskowitz was a completely self-centered man who confused hedonism with enlightenment and whose pathalogical need to be “different” rendered him incapable of being free. The most humbling truth apparent in this biographical film is this: that voluntary subjugation to the tyranny of doctrinaire antiestablishmentarianism should not be mistaken for intellectual triumph or self-determinism. It is fascism.

Now, enjoy your surf movie! Hippies in a bus = good times!

Right?

Here is the much prettier official statement:

Like many American outsider-adventurers, Dorian “Doc” Paskowitz set out to realize a utopian dream. Abandoning a successful medical practice, he sought self-fulfillment by taking up the nomadic life of a surfer. But unlike other American searchers like Thoreau or Kerouac, Paskowitz took his wife and nine children along for the ride, all eleven of them living in a 24 foot camper. Together, they lived a life that would be unfathomable to most, but enviable to anyone who ever relinquished their dreams to a straight job. The Paskowitz Family proved that America may be running out of frontiers, but it hasn’t run out of frontiersman.

lolebrity meenz i r bizzy

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maykin noo blawgz.

mai mitosis. Let me show u it

mai noo blawg. let me show u it.

LOLEBRITY!