Somebody needs to turn the Israelis and Palestinians onto this before it’s too late. A new paradigm for conflict is demonstrated here by the forces of North and South Korea in an underreported, yet epic scuffle in the Demilitarized Zone.
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via Valleywag and cross-posted to TeenyManolo
So that’s twice in my life. I think that’s a respectably low number of times, and I still owe AA for the first one. That’s not Alcoholics Anonymous (where would *I* ever encounter such people?) it’s Aquarian Angel. As with many of my good friends, I don’t know her actual name; well, I know 50% of it, but I also know she’s both extremely closety about her online life and armed with a shotgun she calls “Betsy.” Why do they always give them girl’s names? Is it like hurricanes or something, where you just look at it and know it’s a “Louisette” or “Martha” or something?
Where was I? Oh, yes: on painkillers.
Mention should be made (today I was out at a client’s, teaching them all about blogging and you just KNOW that mention was made of avoiding the passive voice) of the fact that today my fine heinie is featured over at the Grassy Knoll Institute. Where he got the photo I have no idea, but what can I say? After the winter we’ve had, the tramp stamp needed to be let out for some fresh air.
And this concludes our coverage of April 1, 2008.
We’ve all been there: When you open the Write Post page, the void looks also into you.
Here is the quick and dirty version of how to feed your blog on a majah scale: with EPICS! Who doesn’t like epics? They’re epic! Epically epic!
First: you need a setting. Rip one off from an existing epic and call it une hommage. We’ve got Biblical
I’ve got The Book of Murder
Now you’ll need characters, several of them. Just try to write an epic without any character! We call that a Livejournal.
‘Nuff said.
Now, if you get both the characters and the setting from the same epic, what you’ve got is a retelling (we call it “retelling” or “reworking of the archetype,” we do not call it a “ripoff” for that makes our lawyers quite defensive and we just can’t deal with that right now). And we’re not writing How To Write A Retelling here, are we? We’re talking about writing a brand-new epic! So you’ve got to steal your setting and your characters from, and this is the key, different epics, or even one epic and one Symbolist poem or one epic and an old radio drama or something. That could be good. They had the best hair on those old radio dramas.
If you still can’t find any characters you like, we recommend stealing them from this handy-dandy Characters for an Epic Tale chart from Tom Gauld (via Edenborough).
As for plot, just use one of these ready-made plot generators. Don’t say we never did nuthin for ya.
If you find your well running dry even so, just have a man come through the door with a gun OR add bo stick wielding flying cephalopod ninjas. Everyone loves the big squids! After that, who cares how you wind it up as long as the hero ends up with the girl and the villain escapes to cause sequels another day?
And, most importantly, it is a truth universally acknowledged that in the online world, every epic blog post must contain a direct link to http://raincoaster.com.
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I don’t like Peeps. They remind me of those noxious, spongy banana candies that taste like the dandruff on Satan’s shoulders, only with artificial banana flavouring, corn syrup solids, and yellow dye #42. When I say I don’t like Peeps, I mean I actually and actively despise them. And I have never let one near my mouth.
But that could all change if only I could find these:
Do you know where Peeps come from?
And do you know how Peeps end up? As with the characters in a Bruce Springsteen song or any other entity whose marketability depends on freshness and whose freshness the very processes of marketing degrade, they first detour into “art films”:
And this is where they end up:
Or, even more pathetically:
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VFS and YouTube have just announced an international scholarship competition that should knock Chris Crocker off the front page and into the obscurity which has hungered for him ever since the Leave Britney Alone fifteen minutes started.
The prize is a full tuition scholarship to internationally-respected Vancouver Film School, the school out of which Kevin Smith dropped to go on to produce the magnum opus, the veritable Big Chill of his generation, Clerks. Like I ever saw that.
I’m old, yo.
Anyhoo. The challenge is to make a compelling YouTube pitch explaining just exactly why you’re the natural choice to win. Anyone with enough self-confidence to go into film should have no problem with this part. The school picks the finalists, and then the viewers on YouTube make the final choice.
A few more details, from the FAQ:
This competition is about making film school accessible to everyone. The YouTube community will award three aspiring artists (that includes directors, animators, actors, sound designers and more) with full-tuition scholarships to the Vancouver Film School program of their choice.
Between March 18th and May 9th, submit a short film, animation or creative pitch addressing the theme “What Matters to You.” You must start your video by identifying the VFS program you wish to attend and you must limit your video to no more than three minutes. On May 20th, we will announce the 10 finalists, selected by Vancouver Film School.
From May 20th to May 27th, the YouTube community will view and vote for their favorite videos.
On May 30th, we will announce the 3 scholarship winners.
What programs are up for scholarship awards?
1. Foundation Visual Art & Design
2. Acting Essentials
3. 3D Animation & Visual Effects
4. Classical Animation
5. Digital Character Animation
6. Houdini™ Certification
7. Acting for Film & Television
8. Digital Design
9. Entertainment Business Management
10. Film Production
11. Game Design
12. Makeup Design for Film & Television
13. Sound Design for Visual Media
14. Writing for Film & Television
Some handy tips:
Be creative. Don’t just tell us what’s important to you – show us. For example, if you’re a director, make a short film or documentary about an issue you care about. If you’re an animator, animate a story about an issue, person, place, etc. that matters to you. If you’re a writer, pitch a fresh screenplay concept about something that matters to you. If you’re a makeup artist, transform a stranger into someone who matters to you. These are just ideas and we know you can do better, but the point is: think creatively!
What gets into the shortlist?
Vancouver Film School will judge submissions based on the following criteria:
a. Creativity and Originality (up to 25 points)
b. Relevance of the video to the particular program of study selected (up to 25 points)
c. Technical Execution: Camera/Sound/Lighting/Editing (up to 25 points)
d. Overall Impression (up to 25 points)
And after that, it’s all up to the community on YouTube, so start sucking up building relationships now!
raincoaster 