things I was too young to notice at the time #1

Josie and the Pussycats were riding around in a giant vibrator.

No, check it out; either that is an enormous vibrator or it’s the world’s largest bottle of Pierre Cardin. Seriously, the only reason I was able to watch this show, I’m sure, is that my parents didn’t get up until nine on the weekends.

Also, is this what they had before shark-jumping? Going into outer space and getting a Twee, Useless Sidekick? So, Bush has got Matt “Dirty” Sanchez; now, what can we do about shooting him into space?

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vengence is mine, saith raincoaster

Satan's Alarm ClockThanks to the ever-resourceful and only seemingly-benevolent Colin in the WP forums, I now have a timely, sensitive, and highly effective method of payback the next time I’m stuck at a public computer beside some mouthbreathing, grunting microcephaloid. Or the next time you are!

Make sure the offending lower life form can see your monitor. Close your eyes in a moment of prayer, perhaps moving your lips slightly in an inaudible entreaty. Then sigh deeply, look heavenward, and hit this link:

launch

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job postings of the Great Satan

War is PeaceIt comes as no surprise to those of us in other nations that the United States needs professional help.

They have recently begun advertising for it.

Unfortunately, while the advertising gives every indication that this is a good old-fashioned show business audition in that great Hollywood Baby-I-Can-Make-You-A-Star tradition, the bait and switch factor here is of a standard of viciousness that would give even CAA pause.

They’re actually looking for “Arabic-looking people” to play the enemy in live war games. Oops, did we not mention that? Sowee!

They came with dreams of working on a movie set, or at the very least of earning some respectable cash as a walk-on extra, encouraged by a mysterious advertisement printed recently in a Berlin tabloid.

But the reality was different for dozens of Arab-speaking applicants at a supposed casting session, only to be told they were wanted to play Iraqis and Afghans in a US wargame planned for later this month.

I can certainly see the War Games Marketing Manager vetoing a “apply here to get treated like Iraqis by the US Army” format, but a little more disclosure and, perhaps, a lot more cash, might have resulted in an uptake ratio greater than the reported four out of dozens.

…many turned back at the door when asked: “Do you have anything against working for Americans?” …One Moroccan man refused to take part, saying: “I will not help the Americans hurt my brothers…”

“We’re looking for more realism,” said Reggie Bourgeois, executive officer of the US Army’s Joint Multinational Readiness Center (JMRC) in Bavaria. “The more actual culture we can inject into the exercise the better it is for our soldiers.”

“After all, we’re in the business of dealing with the culture.”

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Ann Coulter on John Edwards: that’s got to be somebody’s worst nightmare

Probably Edwards‘.

Note that the notoriously blunt freeze-dried conservative didn’t actually call Edwards a faggot. Rather, she expressed her belief that if you use the word you get sent to rehab.

At least now we know what Britney‘s abusing: the English language. I suppose that was on Fox, so I missed it.

Video over the jump, if you really need to see it. But you might want to take a gander just because the work she had done recently seems to have turned out rather better than her usual “just lipo and tan everything below the hairline” look.

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from Kazakhstan, with love

From India, with lovefor realz. This is not some Borat-inspired joke, this is the real thing. Stolen from Gawker.

Dear Sir/Madam, The Cultural Center of Kazakhstan, Inc. in New York proudly presents the Project “From Kazakhstan with Love”, which will take place on 24 March of 2007. This event will allow professional ballet masters, singers and musicians from country of Republic of Kazakhstan, to have an opportunity to show their master skills and top level of the arts of the Republic of Kazakhstan in the city of New York. The participants will perform alongside with the distinguished American performers and American Kazakhstan performers, achieved a high recognition abroad as Prima Ballerina of New Jersey State Theater Saule Rakhmedova, Ballet dancer Tuvshin Bold, and a winner of the International competitions pianist Alia Alhan Malkeeva. The performances will take place on of the best stage of the city New York, at the Time Warnerner building Allen Hall (capacity of 427 people). The importance of this event is essential for the promotion of the culture of the Republic of Kazakhstan in the United States, and especially in the city of New York, which is considered as the Capital of the World for the arts and music. While living in the United States, we still struggle to explain what is our beloved country, and we dream of the great and peaceful representation of our country here through the cosmopolitan language of the arts.. We also offering the presence of your representative on these events, where we assure you the best attention and care of the arrived guests and free tickets for this events. Under your decision we are offering the speech of your representative on the events. We would like to kindly request your help for the successful completion of this event. Your help could be addressed to the Cultural center of Kazakhstan, Inc. bank account, through the web site of the organization. We are officially assuring you to follow all of your requests.Sincerely,
President of The Cultural Center of Kazakhstan, Inc,
Alia Alhan Mal’keeva, Ph.D.
www.kzculture.com

From Russia, with love. Not Kazakhstan

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