Revealed at last, the seedy back story to the greatest musical phenomenon of our time, the firebrand known as Justin Bieber. Brace yourself: the viewer warning says “contains Canadian idioms.”
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Mime Manson is a thousand times more articulate than the talky one
But seriously, the albums would be better as instrumentals, and perhaps dating Marlee Matlin would be better for him than dating Starlet-of-the-Moment-He-Promptly-Turns-Into-His-Ex-Wife. PLUS he could keep the same wardrobe.
Adolf Hitler, found at last? (raincoaster)
Who’s Sari now, Elizabeth Hurley? (Ayyyy)
Daniel Radcliffe is naked without it (Lolebrity)
Food porn, Yorkshire style (Manolofood)
I need this like I need another hole in the head (ManoloJewelry)
The Big O (GreenManolo)
Knit one, parle two! (CraftyManolo)
No lip from you! (ManoloBeauty)
Madonna has cooties! (AgentBedhead)
Enter the Soundgarden! (BusyBeeBlogger)
Katy Perry’s secret not so secret anymore (CelebDirtyLaundry)
The Dream Team: Cojo and Paula Abdul (CojoStyle)
Pastel on board! (DailyStab)
Get into Grace Kelly’s skirt! (GirlsTalkinSmack)
Yes, Carrie Underwood, this makes your ass look fat (HaveUHeard)
Sexiest Men Alive, or: Your Christmas Shopping List (INeedMyFix)
Harry Potter wears Canadian makeup (FabSugar)
You won't eel a thing
Look, dude, just close your eyes and get it over with. It’ll all be over soon. You’re just lucky your friend is too stupid to understand his boss’s orders: normally, when they say “Sleep with the fishes” they don’t mean sleep, you know what I’m sayin’? And I’m not going to tell him.
Isabella Rossellini fills the convents! (raincoaster)
Parker Posey is no angel either (Ayyyy)
Putin aside temptation (Lolebrity)
Industry Swiftly makes Kanye prOn (AgentBedhead)
Conan O’Brien is a cunning linguist (BusyBeeBlogger)
Adrien Brody is pursued by a succubus from Hell (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Angels get pregnant? (CelebritySmack)
Celebrity hobos (CityRag)
Cojo eulogizes Liz Hurley’s dress (CojoStyle)
Recession fashion tips from Vivienne Westwood (CyberBoris)
Kanye in the Sky with a microphone? (DailyStab)
Anne Hathaway is Jake Gyllenhaal’s guardian angel (EvilBeet)
Don’t EVER touch Charlie Sheen’s watch (Earsucker)
These are your people’s choices (GabbyBabble)
and deliver us from Speidi (GirlsTalkinSmack)
Un-chain Hilary Swank’s heart (GoFugYourself)
A Kardashian is judging you (HaveUHeard)
Russell Brand leaves his wife for Prince Charles (INeedMyFix)
Victoria Beckham and her incubus step out in daylight (JustJared)
Shalit be time for trading places? (Movieline)
The government hates your boss too (PerezHilton)
and in related news, Castro is still alive (PoorBritney)
Before Pee-Wee! (SeriouslyOMG)
They did things like Heeding in those days.
I should have listened!
Joel is no mystery man (raincoaster)
Gary Oldman, man of a thousand grooming choices (Lolebrity)
Nigella Lawson and John Cusack would be a dream couple(Manolofood)
Norman Mailer and a poodle (Ayyyy)
Ewww, Simon Cowell arms! (AgentBedhead)
Whut up, Don Draper? (BusyBeeBlogger)
Mariah, that’s not very flattering to your husband (CeleBitchy)
Two and a Half Times as much Idiocy (CelebDirtyLaundry)
The Addams Family paints the town black (CityRag)
Who’s Sari Now? (CojoStyle)
The 90′s are back and your local arena’s got ‘em! (DailyStab)
Now THAT is a funny caption (DListed)
Yeah, but do they KEEP it down? (GirlsTalkinSmack)
Harry Hughini? (HaveUHeard)
Kiefer is coming! Kiefer is coming! (INeedMyFix)
The bodyguard shakedown breakdown (PoorBritney)
We ALL feel that way, honey (SeriouslyOMG)
We’ve long been Kuatonatics around the ol’ raincoaster blog, and not just because of his cunning linguistic skills and way with teh ladeez. No indeed, he’s a true Renaissance monster, complete with musical talents beyond the pink harmonica, as you can see from this moving edition of Tay Zonday’s instant classic from a couple of years back, Chocolate Rain.
in related news, here’s Chad Vader’s cover.
Stick it to zombies with this bedtime story for grownups (raincoaster)
Does Sharon Stone bathe in virgin’s blood? (Ayyyy)
Sarah Jessica Parker reeks of the open grave (Lolebrity)
I’m going as this spicy hot stuff for Halloween (ManoloFood)
Welcome your weekend of horror (CelebrityBeehive)
Lindsay Lohan to be saved from fate as flesh-eating monster (AgentBedhead)
Well, that’s ONE way to get a vampire’s attention (BusyBeeBlogger)
Can one of these heros save us? (CeleBitchy)
The sex tape rumour that Will! Not! Die! (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Every Day is Halloween! (CelebritySmack)
Celebrity Halloween treats (CityRag)
I’m sorry, Anne Hathaway, but this is horrifying (CojoStyle)
Kim Kardashian makes the punchlines too easy (DailyStab)
Elizabeth Hasselbeck is not long for this world (DListed)
Damien? (Earsucker)
Hideous corpse walks the Earth, needs pants (EvilBeet)
The year they cancelled Halloween (fourfour)
Zombie Justice for Anna Nicole Smith (GabbyBabble)
The Story That Will Not Die continues (GirlsTalkinSmack)
The Shoes That Will Not Die rise again (HaveUHeard)
Unspeakable golem creature forces human into servitude (INeedMyFix)
Jude Law vs Cthulhu! (JustJared)
The Halloween Hater’s guide (Movieline)
Emma Roberts calls for help! (PerezHilton)
Elusive creature sighted (PoorBritney)
raincoaster 