Category Archives: Fans

VampireFreaks fundraiser for Montreal Children’s Hospital

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from, obviously, VampireFreaks. Again I say, I’m just not seeing all these Goth-bashing articles they’re whining about (links, please?), but I’m perfectly fine with Saint Sebastian Syndrome in somebody else if it raises money for sick kids.

Goth Help Us

VampireFreaks and GothHelpUs present:

The VF Charity Fundraiser

Welcome to the Vampirefreaks Charity fundraiser. Here we are raising money to donate to charity, to help people in need, and to show the world that goths are not the scary, evil criminals that some people make us out to be.

Unfortunately, Vampirefreaks.com and gothic culture in general has been receiving negative press, most recently for a school shooting in montreal where the criminal was a member of this website. It was a very tragic event and it’s unfortunate that the faults of one user has been attributed to our site and goth culture in general. In response to these events, we have been watching the site more closely and also asking users to be on their best behavior and show that we are a friendly and caring community. A few members have taken it upon themselves to get involved with local charities, and I applaud you for your efforts.

Vampirefreaks is now officially hosting a charity fundraiser for the Montreal Children’s Hospital Foundation, towards providing hospital care to children in Montreal. We have chosen this charity because Montreal is the city that was affected by this tragic event and we would like to help out children in need [Montreal Children’s Hospital is also the charity chosen by Anastasia DeSousa‘s family for donations in her name].

All members who donate will be listed on this page as a thank you for your support, and if you donate $50 (US dollars) or more, you will receive a free 1 year premium membership.

Operation Global Media Domination: Nawked

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TIAThat’s not a strange Britishism; it’s the word for when Gawker uses not just one, but two of the YouTubes you posted in a single day without referencing you even indirectly. And no, it’s not carryover bitterness from the time I gave them Cold Desert’s Absolut ads and they didn’t gimme so much as a “via raincoaster.” No, I’m so over that! 

Perish the thought!

Well, at least Metafilter gave me the luv, which was worth a good 1200 hits in one day, and, bizarrely, Chubby Bunny seems to be going viral, days after the posting, leaving all mango porno-related posts in the compost heap. I guess there’s a lag time with marshmallows: who knew?

Other link-luvvers include CBS News (FFS!), Digg, WordPress.com, TotalFark, an awful lot of self-hating people who clicked through when I told the readers chez Guido to go fuck themselves, and VampireFreaks, which brings us to…

Kimveer Gill’s Blog continues to be popular with illiterate teenagers who hate everyone and only want to be left alone because they’re peaceful, loving people and who have come to my blog to threaten me for saying otherwise, although I hadn’t, but they wouldn’t know that because they, of course, don’t read the post or the comments. Occasional flashes of insight are posted in that thread by people who don’t know the saying about pearls before swine; the latest swine was someone pretending to be Anastasia deSousa’s brother. His IP is 24.236.230.153 if anyone is interested in taking it up with him.

Hits indicate that everyone is still interested in Beautiful Agony, Blackzilla, and watching Steve Irwin die. Except me. Oh, and some reaaaaaaaly longtailers are just catching on to Lucy Gao now.

BTW, I have five bucks riding on my whining getting me banned from Gawker. Time will tell; they won’t wake up for another ten hours.

the T factor; thieving Italians in Vancouver

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Anybody know these guys? The link to the video was posted over at Waiterblog, so believe me, they’d better not dine out in Vancouver again. I don’t know why, but chefs here tend to be both burly and armed with an interesting and vast assortment of very sharp implements.

Two dirty italians decide to film their dinner and a dash in Vancouver BC. This happened on February 2005. The restaurant was the Rugby Beach Grille. Alessio says: “their service one night sucked real bad and they were rude…so we decided to come back and get our money’s worth…”
Well done boys.

why the squid?

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How many times have I been asked about my fascination with the Giant Squid (and spillover fascinations with the Colossal Squid, Giant Sharks, Octopus, Cthulhu, and, really, anything big and crawly or big and carnivorous in the ocean)?

I understand that there are those who do not get this. These poor, deprived people have mild, torpid souls like vast expanses of blancmange, studded here and there with a dollop of something white and fatty, but never a hint of danger, of spice…

Of Squid.

Why the squid? Here’s why.

Lagerfeld’s new lingerie: Seductive Baboon

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From Gallery of the Absurd, via Defamer. I’m so incredibly relieved; for awhile I was thinking that the casting couch must have some very esoteric tastes. Assflaps? And that…thing that Lohan shared with the whole world in Venice. And Santa Monica. And Malibu. And…

The Truth Behind Starlet Crotch Photos

There has been an alarming increase in the frequency of starlet crotch photos across the blogosphere. You’d have to be from Jupiter if you’ve not yet seen photos of Paris Hilton’s weathered bits splashed all over the internet. If you’ve checked the gossip blogs lately, you’ve also been subjected to the regrettable vision of Lindsay Lohan’s “fire crotch” as she exits a vehicle while wearing a miniskirt sans underwear in front of a pack of eager paparazzi. Our reporters here at Gallery of the Absurd wanted to get to the bottom of this disturbing trend and we can now share with you what we learned:

We’re pleased to report that these young ladies are simply wearing Karl Lagerfeld‘s sizzlingly sexy new line of lingerie – Seductive Baboon. Lagerfeld noticed striking similarity between the mating behavior of the female baboon and that of certain free-wheeling Hollywood starlets and was inspired to create a line of underwear that resembles the swollen ass of a baboon.  We know, it’s hard to tell the difference, but that’s where Lagerfeld‘s genius is apparent. Sexy, no? Karl shares his insight with us:

Unka Karl on assflaps

Parisbaboon

We adore the Paris Hilton version of Seductive Baboon underwear! They even have a little pocket sewn on so that “Crabby” has a dark place to hide when there’s too much sunlight disturbing him.  Folks, there’s no longer any need to gouge out your eyeballs after you see yet another photo of Hilton’s crotch…rest assured, she’s wearing Seductive Baboon. Available at fine stores everywhere.

Lindzboon