From the Department of Bad Advice

John Cusack and I are both magnets for bad advice

John Cusack and I are both magnets for bad advice

Beneficial for whom? Do you have any IDEA what people like Cusack and me do to mainstreams into which we attempt to integrate? Roughly what a wolverine that’s on fire and radioactive to boot does to a toilet paper roll it’s trying to crawl through, that’s what. See this picture?

Hunter S Thompson John Cusack and Johnny Depp plus one

Pamela Anderson's looking a little rough. Hunter S Thompson John Cusack and Johnny Depp plus one

Do you REALLY want these people in your Bell Curve? No. No, you do not. These aren’t the droids you’re looking for.

These are:

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V for Vogueing

Work it, V!

Work it, V!

You know we are in the 21st Century when the anarchists win via photobombing.

The Pirate Party, me Hearties!

And you should have seen the Swedish Pirate After-Party!

And you should have seen the Swedish Pirate After-Party!

Party on, dudes!

Also: I just thought we needed something other than a video for once on this page. Also also, I’m freaking pissed at YouTube. A video I posted to Gawker.tv yesterday and was working fine today at 11am was “Embedding disabled” by 4pm today. Motherfuckers. In the words of the immortal Jack Burton, sonofabitch must pay. At which point I am tempted to insert a video, but will resist.

Oh, Charlie!

What Have We Learned, Charlie Brown?

Image via Wikipedia

How do you solve a problem like Charlie Sheen? You can’t, because he’s so epically winning, right? BOOM! But you can try to come a bit closer to understanding him if you run him through a few filters first; it’s like watching an eclipse. The sheer awesomenosity could blind you if you didn’t apply some filters. So here is Jimmy Kimmel‘s interpretation of the Sheen interview, with visuals starring that other Charlie.

Brown.

via CelebratingTheAbsurd

And since this post has already been user-tested for celebrity gossip addict appeal, here are your gossip links for Wednesday:

Baby on Board (raincoaster)

Nicole Kidman could use a sammich (Lolebrity)

London Fashion Week is for the birds (Ayyyy)

I scream! (ManoloFood)

He should fit right in with Lindsay and Gadaffi (AgentBedhead)

Charlie Sheen too busy winning to retain custody of his kids (BusyBeeBlogger)

Justin Bieber sells out to rich witch doctor? (CelebDirtyLaundry)

A simple summit with Lady Gaga (CelebritySmack)

Robert Pattinson cheats on Tai (CelebVIPLounge)

Babies: totally Team Coco (CityRag)

Katie “Sue” Holmes (DailyStab)

Kim Kardashian, Saviour of Autotune (Earsucker)

Save Oprah! (FitFabCeleb)

Another sign Russia is in desperate straights (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Oh man, the ski lobby hates celebrities (HaveUHeard)

ScarJo publicly toejobs Sean Penn (INeedMyFix)

Oh Em Jee, the Oscars are about to get awesome (MathewGuiver)

Britney’s V shots (PoorBritney)

Sad Mugshot Xtina is sad (PopBytes)

Amanda Seyfried’s magically transforming Doc Martens (TheSkinny)

Five Angels, only two backsides among them (TheSkinnyChic)

 

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Michael Douglas Photobomb Gossip Links

Yes, two linkposts in a row. Deal with it.

Michael Douglas Photobombs Catherine Zeta Jones and Angelina Jolie

Michael Douglas Photobombs Catherine Zeta Jones and Angelina Jolie

Nothing like beating fourth stage soft tissue cancer and then photobombing your wife in her celebuglam photo ops at the Golden Globes.

Boobs! Breasts! Chest! And Keywords! (raincoaster)

Fashion trolls can climb? (Ayyyy)

Challah, breakfast! (Manolofood)

Sean Connery is the top! (Lolebrity)

Robert Pattinson and pubes in the same sentence (AgentBedhead)

Ode to Californication (BusyBeeBlogger)

Stars shoulder the burden of fashion (CeleBitchy)

Joan Rivers vs Sarah Palin (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Paz’d out (CelebritySmack)

Canadian-dater is impure! (AllieIsWired)

Charlie Sheen, name-dropper! (Earsucker)

Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban sublet a womb (DailyStab)

Sandra Bullock knows bangs are cheaper than Botox (GirlsTalkinSmack)

For a sec I seriously thought that was Julian Assange with CZJ (HaveUHeard)

Montreal won the Golden Globes (INeedMyFix)

Kanye Kant Handle It (PoorBritney)

You don’t deserve Ricky Jervais! (PopBytes)

Hayden, that is not what they mean by “the layered look” (FitFabCeleb)

JLo bids high (GabbyBabble)

Celebrity philosophers in 140 characters (EvilBeet)

The TRUE winner of the Golden Globes (MovieLine)

Michael Lohan finally finds his perfect match (SeriouslyOMG)