Jesus’ Blood Never Failed Me Yet

Jesus' blood never failed me yetBut you have to wonder if it hadn’t, or, if it had, who it was who got to make that call.

This song has haunted not my dreams but my waking for nearly ten years, ever since Mister Natural played it for me.

The story is this:

Gavin Bryars, an interesting fellow if ever there was one, was working on a film about the homeless people who populated the neighborhoods of Elephant & Castle and Waterloo Station, a very Hogarthian scene even if gin is not as cheap as it used to be. Not being used to starring in films, the populace enjoyed the attention and in some cases hammed it up for the cameras with appropriate ruffles and flourishes and not a few belts of song or even something stronger.

One of those singers, a teetotaller in fact, came out with this.

I’ve heard it in both the unadorned and orchestral versions, and I must say I prefer the starker one. Adding Tom Waits to the mix is gilding the lily: surely Tom Waits is nothing but an haut-Boho imitation of something the old man was a true original of.

With nothing but this creaky old voice rattling out a single-line message of faith and hope for twenty solid minutes, one can’t help but meditate on it.

Time Smoking by William Hogarth

This man’s whole life is there, in the tension between his circumstances and his message. He, at least, believes he has never been failed by Jesus (and who are we to say he HAS?) and yet there he is; why, he wouldn’t have been recorded at all if he had not been the very embodiment of society’s lowest castoffs. And so, his cruel circumstances are themselves what enable his inspiring voice to be heard in the first place, yet his moving faith seems so wildly unjustified.

Somewhere between the impossibility of the truth and the impossibility of anything else lies the human condition.

Bryars speaks:

When I copied the loop onto the continuous reel in Leicester, I left the door of the recording studio open (it opened onto one of the large painting studios) while I went downstairs to get a cup of coffee. When I came back I found the normally lively room unnaturally subdued. People were moving about much more slowly than usual, and a few were sitting alone, quietly weeping. I was puzzled until I realized that the tape was still playing and that they had been overcome by the old man’s unaccompanied singing.

This demonstrated to me the emotional power of the music, but also alerted me to the need to approach very carefully anything I did to the tape. I had already thought about a gradually added orchestral accompaniment and I realized that this needed to be simple, to gradually evolve, yet at the same time respect the tramp’s humanity and simple faith.

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kickin’ it!

Right in the head.

This is terrible, horrible, awful, wrenching, and really, really funny. It’s like a snuff video featuring kittens. You’ve been warned.

Indeed, the person who deserves a kick in the head, ie the parent, seems to have gotten off scott-free, which is by no means fair. (by the way, the papers report that no serious damage was done; kids are in fact indestructible). 114,000 views in one day: wow, there are a lot of people out there just as sick as I am!

Stolen from Gawker. Sequel here.

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contest: name that fad!

Bling Bling Ouch!

How to intro this…well, first of all you should know that the prize here is nothing less than immortal glory and the adoring praise of millions. There shall be none other like you on Earth; you will be unique among all peoples:

the one, the only, winner of the FADenclature contest on the ol’ raincoaster blog!

Seriously, how cool is that?

Which is all just a fancy way of saying No, there’s no money in it.

Something along the lines of the Tentacle Pornstar Name Challenge, this is a contest to develop the most amusing name for the soon-to-leave-the-pages-of-Snopes-forever (as soon as Lohan gets ahold of the idea anyway) concept of adorning one’s nether regions with what is known in the yoof community as “bling” and flashing said bling in the presence of witnesses if not actually paparazzi. Where can Paris, Lindsay et al go from here anyway? They’ve got to ramp it up somehow!

See here for background. Suggestions in the comments section. You’re up against some tough competition here; those Gawkerites can be lightning fast with the wisecracks, so bring your best game.

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lolgoth #7: invisible slinky!

Invisible Slinky!

source

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lolgoth #5: trent sez decaf plzthx

And he looks like he could use a double!

Trent sez decaf plzthx!

source

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