The Holy…Quadruplicity????

The Blogosphere is marking Holy Week with one hell of a roundup. First the Judas Gospels teaser then the Da Vinci case (is that da Da Vinci case?), and finally Cthulhu peeps. Those, ladies and gentlemen, were warmups.

For this:

Pantera, Father of God...is it the one on the left?

According to some nutty religio-cryptarchaeologist, Jesus‘ real father was Pantera. Well, something had to account for their popularity, eh? Ever heard their music? Divine intervention might just do it.

This Easter is turning out to be especially grim for those who worship a virgin Jesus who was executed and then came back from the dead.

Between the outrageous heresy of the Gospel of Judas, disturbing scientific investigations of Jesus’ alleged crucifixion, mundane explanations for his miracles and the latest media circus around “The Da Vinci Code” and “Holy Blood, Holy Grail,” it was already a very bad spring for Christians.

It just got worse. A stunning new book by religious-history archeologist Dr. James A. Tabor — “The Jesus Dynasty: A New Historical Investigation of Jesus, His Royal Family, and the Birth of Christianity” — went on sale this week.

<snip>

Just as Osama bin Laden means “Osama, son of Laden,” the name Jesus bar Pantera means “Jesus, son of Pantera.”

And apparently, it’s all the fault of the bloody Germans. Well, it would be. (is xenophobia good for hits? Guess we’ll find out eh?)

Debuting to mixed reviews in Ireland

Black & TanBen & Jerry’s Black and Tan ice cream.
Cream stout ice cream swirled with chocolate ice cream

We’ve no idea how many Ben & Jerry’s fans might be beer enthusiasts, but we suspect that once you’ve tasted the way we’ve blended real cream stout ice cream with a whirl of chocolate ice cream, you might soon be raising more than a few pints of Black & Tan – and more than a few brew-aha!’s too.

If they try to release this in certain areas there might be a few black and blues involved, I’m thinking. Who’s the marketing genius behind this, I wonder…and besides, cream stout and chocolate? Somehow the Seattle espresso beer works. Chocolate and beer just go together like pork bellies and hemlock. Click on the link above to find out why this might not be quite as popular as Chunky Monkey..

Breaking fast: Necronomicon Found!

Damn. I knew I left it someplace!Cthulhu sees you!

Fortunately, the British police have no idea what they've found. "Anthropodermic bibliopegy" indeed; they're just trying to normalize this to prevent a global panic. The fools! Mwahahahahaha.

When you happen to find an old book that you can't read, bound in human skin and lying by the side of the road in small-town nowheresville, your first reaction shouldn't be: gee, I can't read this, so it must be an old ledger. And it's just lying here, so it must have been dropped during a robbery of…that barn there. Or the sheep pen. Or maybe the badger hole. I'm sure it must be fairly common. People are always dropping old ledgers bound in human skin by the side of the road after committing robberies that have gone completely unreported and unnoticed. Happens all the time.

Honestly, is a Hound attack so implausible in that light?

This news surfaced the day after I'd made cheap jokes at the expense of Leeds, and just as I was putting together a blog entry on Ernest Angley. Not that there's any relationship between these completely independent incidents.

The End Times Are Upon Us! It's Easter, just the right time of the year for an Apocalypse. And it will be blogged, people.

Cthulhu ftagn, Cthulhu RSS!

Cthulhu peeps

Happy Birthday, Animation!

A ten-tentacle salute to Whatacharacter, who alerted me to the fact that April 7 was the 100th anniversary of animation. And here's an image from that very first film, Humorous Phases of Funny Faces:

Humorous Phases of Funny Faces

Update: Ah, now we have a controversy over whether or not it's just the 100th anniversary of American animation. Whodathunk whether or not a film was animated would be in question, but it is. Well, it's nice to see something that's more complicated than it first appears, rather than less; it satisfies the evil genius in me. And can you imagine what it was like 101 years ago? Because the idea of un-animated Americans is what I think of as a contradiction in terms.

And now some stuff from Windsor McKay, because he was also an early animator, and dude was way twisted, yo. Word. McKay, most famous for his Little Nemo series, produced a masterwork of early interactive journalism with his Dreams of the Rarebit Fiend. The premise was simply this: after eating something as cheese-laden as Welsh Rarebit, people tend to have vivid, strange dreams. And "Silas" as he was known, asked readers to send in their dreams, so he could illustrate them. It's an amazing gallery of the human mind. I'm not sure if the differences between these dreams and my own reflects the differences between individuals or the difference between times. Buy the book (reissued, thanks to a Seattle small press) and check it out for yourself.

We're lookin for daylight

And more of same:

McKay strip

  Anudder Mckay cartoon

yetanudder McKay cartoon

You getting the idea? Traaaaaast me, the dialogue is twice as twisted as the images most of the time. The scathing "Cannibal Meat Trust" episode was particularly memorable. And now for more of same:

Little Nemo

Rarebit Fiend

The Five Fists of Science

The Five Fists of Science 

Is this not the whackest shizzle you evah seen, niggaz? (is that how that is pronounced? I'm using an online translator here, cut me some slack) A snip from the Boingboing post:

Matt Fraction shares a sneak-preview of his forthcoming graphic novel, The Five Fists of Science, starring Mark Twain and Nikola Tesla in a race to save the world from Thomas Edison and J.P Morgan. "Best part? It's true. Almost," says Matt.

You know some underachieving physics grad is going to be living his dreams through this.

Back cover copy. If you listen closely, you can hear Thomas Dolby, I swear:

SCIENCE!
No longer the realm of the fop, the dandy, or the physicist!
SCIENCE!
No longer the purview of landed gentry or the monied upper classes
SCIENCE is TODAY! SCIENCE is NOW!
SCIENCE IS FOR YOU!

Come one and come all, to this, a grand old adventure
in a brand new tradition
the penny dreadful
the pulp adventure
the escapist fantasy
the pictotrash compendium
THE GRAPHIC NOVEL
THE FIVE FISTS OF SCIENCE

join
MR. MARK TWAIN
(aka Samuel Clemens)
— and —
MR. NIKOLA TESLA
(aka Master of Lightning)
in a white knuckle thriller
AS THEY SAVE THE VERY WORLD

not recommended for the soft or the sissy
the weak at heart
or
the dull of mind

THE FIVE FISTS
of SCIENCE!
TWAIN! TESLA!
AMERICA:
You cannot spell “action & adventure” without
T & T
!!!

As told by Messers Fraction & Sanders, Kansas City, Missouri
and published by Image Comics, Berkeley, CA.

AT LONG LAST
SCIENCE FOR THE COMMON MAN
SCIENCE FOR THE WORKING MAN
SCIENCE FOR EVERY MAN!
Fear it! Feel it!

THE FIVE FISTS
of SCIENCE!
Do you dare
READ IT?