This newly-released Ingrid Betancourt footage is truly remarkable. In her own words, she explains what it was like to be a prisoner of FARC for all those years, chained in one place, able to make friends only with the vermin who scuttled through her lonely cell, and gives her thoughts on freedom and Hugo Chavez. Then she humps the backdrop.
At least, I THINK that’s what she’s saying. Like I speak Spanish!
via DListed
For some things, my friends, there are no words. The soulless perversions, both polymorphous and (shockingly) amorphous, of the cosmic aberration which is Cthulhu know bondage neither in space nor in time, nor in any other dimension either dreamed or measured.
Here, my friends, is proof. Cover your eyes and turn away, rather than click on and be damned.
Here be dragons.
Here be Cthulhu Goatse: Continue reading
Another rival to the clown crown falls to “natural causes.” So-called “natural causes.”
Larry Harmon as Bozo the Clown
“I felt if I could plant my size 83AAA shoes on this planet,
(people) would never be able to forget those footprints,” he said.
Yes, one of the most prominent clowns in history, Larry Harmon, has died. Harmon, who played Bozo the Clown for most of the latter part of the Twentieth Century and could plausibly said to have been the first person of any description to clone a clown, is only the most recent in a string of mysterious clown deaths.
Larry Harmon, dead at 83.
Marcel Marceau, dead at 84.
Red Skelton, dead at 84.
Nicolai Poliakoff OBE, dead at 74.
Achille Zavatta, dead at 78.
One by one, the most prominent clowns in the world have been picked off, most succumbing to the blandly ubiquitous “natural causes,” and none living much past their 84th birthday.
The world shrugs, sighs, says “these things happen,” ah yes, but why do they always seem to happen to the rivals of one man? One man who is known to associate with hardened criminals. One man who has at his fingertips the very substances of which a heart attack is made?
One man, ladies and gentlemen. One man named Ronald McDonald.
And, ladies and gentlemen, we do not use those words lightly.
No indeed. This incredible creature is destined for the historic pantheon of pets, the greatest companions humankind has ever known, up there with the sadly now-endangered Tree Octopus, the Drop Bear, and the tragically extinct Longhorse.
What is this miraculous creature? It is the Plaid French Bulldog, otherwise known as Le Bouledogue Français Écossais, a long-lost, recently revived gesture of friendship and solidarity between the people of Brittany and the deposed king of Scotland, England and Wales, James II and VII.
These animals are the only dogs to come in natural plaid patterns, including a dazzling, Lilly Pulitzer-esque pink and green calico plaid pattern that would be the envy of any gay Preppie. Hat-tip to Smartdogs for the tipoff; these babies will sell like gateaux chauds!
From the site of the only breeder in the world currently offering genuine Plaid French Bulldogs:
…since it is a simple fact of life that things which cost more are inherently better, you can rest assured that our Plaid pups come with the absolute highest price for a French Bulldog that you will ever see. In fact, we guarantee it – if you find a Plaid French Bulldog that costs more than ours do, just let us know, and we’ll charge you the extra difference…
…ask us about our certified Clan Authentic Plaidies, just in time for Highland Games seasons. You’ll toss your caber when you see how cute our authentic Clan MacGregor pups are!
Plaid French Bulldogs© – If you don’t have one, you sure do suck!™
Hard to argue with that.
The Bevolicher, a carnivorous creature which lives on the flesh of baristas, is reported to be at large. Please report Bevolicher sightings to your local branch of the Masons or Knights Templar, as appropriate. Do not approach the Bevolicher yourself, as it may be dangerously peckish and prone to noxiously obscure foreign film references.
Goddam! My birthday just disappeared!
raincoaster 