From the Department of Bad Advice

John Cusack and I are both magnets for bad advice

John Cusack and I are both magnets for bad advice

Beneficial for whom? Do you have any IDEA what people like Cusack and me do to mainstreams into which we attempt to integrate? Roughly what a wolverine that’s on fire and radioactive to boot does to a toilet paper roll it’s trying to crawl through, that’s what. See this picture?

Hunter S Thompson John Cusack and Johnny Depp plus one

Pamela Anderson's looking a little rough. Hunter S Thompson John Cusack and Johnny Depp plus one

Do you REALLY want these people in your Bell Curve? No. No, you do not. These aren’t the droids you’re looking for.

These are:

Continue reading

You’re all invited!

Cthulhu Cake

Cthulhu Cake

It is a fact universally acknowledged that when Julian Assange marries me, this will be our wedding cake. Cry all you want, jealous losers, it WILL happen. TEH CAKE IS NOT A LIE!

Iz NOT!

Iz NOT!

Sulk all you want: he stll isn’t going to go out with you.

Our guest list will be exclusive, and we’re really proud to say that we’ve just got an RSVP from a very important celebrity. Not to drop a name, but, well, if you’ve been around you’ll have heard of him. TENTAQUIL!

I, on the other hand, wish I was a Fakemon

I, on the other hand, wish I was a Fakemon

Y’all had better start working on your outfits ASAP: this is one wedding with a STRICT dress code.

here's the image Photobucket took down

not everyone can pull off this look, particularly because of the suckers

Octopus speedo unsafe at ANY speed

Top THAT!

A Love Story for Our Time

Internet Love never works out

Internet Love never works out. Lavalife has a lot to answer for.

Haven’t we all had that experience? The tall, handsome, male charmer online somehow morphs, in between tweeting and meeting, into a stubby, Faces-of-Meth, hermaphroditic, spectrum disorder-having bedwetter. Oh, there may be plenty of fish out there, but YOU try getting one to make conversation over a nice entree.

 

The Booty Call of Cthulhu

The Booty Call of Cthulhu

Kate Gosselin will settle for just ANYONE.

Anybody need a stiff drink after that? Apparently I need a Bloody Mary:


You Are a Bloody Mary


You’re a fairly serious drinker who’s experimented a lot with different drinks.

You know what you like to drink, but you’re not a snob. You’ll drink anything in a pinch. 

You’re a drunk, but you are a stable drunk. You don’t ever let your drinking get out of control.

You’re the one who keeps everyone levelheaded, even if you’ve had the most to drink.

If you don’t feel like a drink but have been inspired to take quite a different kind of action, here’s the “what kind of toilet user are you” quiz that you didn’t know you were waiting for.


Your Toilet Personality is Social


You’ll go anywhere, anytime, with anyone. In fact, you secretly talk on the phone when you’re in your “office.”

For you, going to the bathroom is no big deal. And you going shouldn’t be for anyone else either. 

You don’t mind public restrooms – in fact, you sort of like the energy they bring to the act.

When you’re on the toilet, you consider yourself a bit of a performance artist.

As always, your mileage may vary. And so via natural progression to the celebrity gossip links for today.
Continue reading

Flight of the Beer Bottles!

Can I get "Bohemian Rhapsody?"

Can I get "Bohemian Rhapsody?"

Stop me if you’ve heard this one: no, don’t. Click Play anyway, because this is worth a re-listen or ten. Three Irish university students on temporary loan to Ireland perform the Flight of the Bumblebee on an instrument consisting of their entire apartment and some partly-empty beer bottles.

Now that the mood’s been set, get yourself a refreshing “musical instrument” (meat whistle optional) and click over the jump to get today’s juicy gossip links.

Continue reading

Animal Hats of the Rich and Famous

Hetty was VERY surprised at what happened next

Hetty was VERY surprised at what happened next. You don't fuck with Cthulhu

As we’ve mentioned before, you do not mess with an Acolyte of the Great Old Ones, and you do not throw shade on somebody else’s Animal Hat. Not if you want those mortifying Facebook photos to stay secret.

Julian Assange gets an updo!

Julian Assange gets an updo!

 

 

Enhanced by Zemanta