Samuel L. Jackson’s New Year’s Resolutions

Samuel L. Jackson. Sam is the man!

Basically, this is How to Be Badass 101, and who better to teach it than the king of Badass, Samuel L, eh? I’m stealing it from HighAdventureGames because they stole this from me and I’m badass. We take names and follow up.

Now, I know you might find it shocking that someone as cool and together as myself has New Year’s resolutions but believe it or not, there are things that even Samuel L. Jackson can improve upon. Forthwith – if I could have a little music, please. At the top of my list:

  • “Continue to kick ass“
  • And then I hope to “Be as bad as I know I can be“.
  • Also, to “Really put it out there, and by it I mean Sammy’s mojo”.
  • In addition, I plan to “Give it as good as I get it“, “Be all that and more“, and “Lose my shyness, vis a vis the rocket in my pocket“.
  • Plus, I plan to “Work my voodoo on the lady fans“, “Take a thorn out of some cat’s paw” and “Build a shrine to my own bad ass“.
  • Then, it’s time to “Give the demons what for“, “Spare the rod and spoil the face“, and “Continue to kick ass“.
  • After which, I’ll “Show the bad men what it’s all about“, “Release a dove from a ghetto rooftop“, and “Cradle a newborn baby in the ruins of a church“.
  • Finally, this year, I will “Stick it to all the suckas“.
  • And I’m gonna “Show the Man that I mean business“.
  • And I’m gonna “Take a computer class“.

[Saturday Night Live, December 1997]

Sadly, it appears that, although I am certainly badass, I am not Samuel L. Jackson. Well, who could be? The world could not stand twice that much cool.

 


Which B-Movie Badass Are You?

 

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p0p#1 sez u b svd lol!

Digital confessional

Let no man say the Catholic Church doesn’t move with the times.

Oh, it doesn’t generally change policies any faster than a glacier changes direction, but their marketing department is already all over Second Life, reaching out to those with no particular First Life (so no change there), and now from the Guardian (of the faithful?) comes news that the Vatican, heretofor known as rather a Slow Adopter (at least since that whole Savonarola brou-ha-ha) has gone all bleeding edge and announced that the C-list blogger known as “the Pope” will be sending daily text messages to the faithful.

No word on whether the service provider will be Virgin.

 

Again.

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Ingmar Bergman, RIP

Waiting for Bengt Ekarot

And now it can be told: I’ve never seen any of his films.

Sorry.

But I have seen this: Whispers of the Wolf, presented by SCTV on Monster Chiller Horror Theatre. It’s more or less the same, right?

Igmar Bergman’s Whispers of the Wolf

Two sisters are depressed and have difficulty dealing with reality.

Desk Clerk – Levy; Sisters – O’Hara, Martin; Midget – extra

Count Floyd‘s a bit stunned, but gamely tries to convince us it was scary. He suspects Prickley booked Bergman.

Okay, I also saw Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure. And…that other Bill and Ted movie


Grim Reaper: A hit. You have sunk my battleship!
Dead Bill, Dead Ted: Excellent! Yes!
Dead Ted: I totally knew he would put it in the J’s, dude!
Dead Bill: Good thinking, Ted.
Grim Reaper: You must play me again.
Dead Bill: WHAT?
Grim Reaper: Um, best two out of three.
Dead Bill, Dead Ted: No way!
Grim Reaper: Yes way.


Death wins. Death always wins.

See, you thought I didn’t know my Bergman!

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Howl…for Lindsay Lohan

Cross-posted from the Shebeen Club.

Got this off Defamer. Yes, I can see Alan Ginsberg updating Howl just for the occasion. Lindsay Lohan is at least as consistently wasted as William S. Burroughs, although she is better-looking than he ever was and has not yet resorted to dealing. Clock ticking on that one, though.

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quiz: are you a gentleman?

Oh dear. Does this mean I’m in for a big life change?


You Are 88% Gentleman


No doubt about it, you are a total gentleman.

You please the pickiest ladies, and you make everyone in a room feel comfortable.

Are You A Gentleman?

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