kickin’ it!

Right in the head.

This is terrible, horrible, awful, wrenching, and really, really funny. It’s like a snuff video featuring kittens. You’ve been warned.

Indeed, the person who deserves a kick in the head, ie the parent, seems to have gotten off scott-free, which is by no means fair. (by the way, the papers report that no serious damage was done; kids are in fact indestructible). 114,000 views in one day: wow, there are a lot of people out there just as sick as I am!

Stolen from Gawker. Sequel here.

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7-17: felony fun for the whole family!

You’ll shoot your eye out with that!

Seven to seventeen!

Let’s all celebrate the birth of the Babby Jebus with happy volleys from our brand new weapons! Maybe we’ll make CNN  like those trigger-happy Middle Easterners!

Actually, I’m relatively sure that even in Canada you don’t get 7-17 for anything less than manslaughter, though, and possession of a bb gun would be more like “laughed out of the legion” when it comes to punishment. Okay, so I’m still bitter I never got one of these…

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The Shebeen Club: Perspectives on Storytelling

Shebeen bar, yo 

cross-posted from The Shebeen Club

 

What: The Shebeen Club: Perspectives on Storytelling

When: 7-9pm, Tuesday, May 22nd, 2007

Where: The Shebeen, behind the Irish Heather, 217 Carrall Street in Gastown

Why: Herald the arrival of Spring with Canada’s top storyteller, Nan Gregory

Who: Contact lorraine.murphy at gmail dot com for more information

How(much)? $15 includes presentation and dinner

  

Once upon a time…it was a dark and stormy night…let me tell you a story…it all began…

with Nan Gregory.

One of the original Shebeeners from back in the Jurassic period, Nan is not just one of Canada’s best storytellers, she’s also the woman who gave the Shebeen Club its name. We are delighted to welcome her back as our featured presenter in a very special evening of stories and conversation about writing, hypertext, the colonization of the imagination, and the importance (or not) of plot.

Your admission includes a dinner of bangers and mash or vegetarian pasta, plus one glass of pop, wine or beer.

Bio: Nan Gregory has been a professional storyteller for over 20 years. She tells myths and legends, folk tales and fairy tales, tales from history and tales from her own life for audiences of all ages. She tells in libraries, schools, theatres, conferences-and, one winter, from the back of a horse drawn sleigh. She has been a featured teller at storytelling festivals including Vancouver, Toronto, Montreal, Seattle, Nagoya, Japan, and Palmerston, New Zealand.

She is the author of three picture books. How Smudge Came won the Sheila Egoff Award for best children’s book for 1996 in British Columbia and the 1996 Mr. Christie’s Award for best Canadian children’s book for seven years and under. Wild Girl and Gran was given the 2000 Canadian Library Association Book of the Year Award for text. Amber Waiting (2002) was named to the ALA’s Booklist Best for 2003. Her first novel, for ages 8 to 12, entitled I’ll Sing You One-O was published in August, 2006.

7-7:30: meet and mingle
7:30-8: listen and learn
8-whenever: a cage match between Jack from the Beanstalk and Jack Sprat. 

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chop, chop

chop along the dotted line 

If Hannibal Lecter were an obstetrician, these would be standard maternity wear. As it is, they’re popular among a certain set that never should have entered the gene pool in the first place.

I know waaaaay too many women who are going for cosmetic cesareans with a side of tummy tucks, rationalizing to anyone who gets within arm’s reach that the recovery time is less than a natural birth; actually, no. They just stitch you up and send you home faster. It’s major abdominal surgery, and you’ll need that trapeze in the bedroom for getting out of bed rather than any of the activities for the sake of which you went through with an elective invasive procedure. And in case you’re wondering: he’ll still cheat on you anyway. Glad to be of service!

Stolen from Gawker, who had their own, for once somewhat less pointed words to say about it.

Actually, you know, I’d love to see Fat Bastard in one of these.

Babby! The OTHER other white meat!

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Charlie Brown and the Great Pumpkin and the bloodthirsty vengence of unquenchable, unnameable horror from beyond the abyss

Remember that cute little nursery rhyme about what little boys and girls are made of? Well this takes that mystery right off the table, because once the Great Pumpkin gets through with them, you can actually see the component parts! Awesome!

Stolen from Dr Mike.

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