Obey the Hat!

for sale from The Role Playing Game Shop:

http://www.rpgshop.com/product_info.php?products_id=38053

The Cthulhu hat. One size annihilates all.

Cthulhu hat

Manifest Idiocy

Canada America Done Right

The Guardian has been doing a virtual world tour of literature, and recently they featured Canada. In fact, the blog comments, meant to be a roundup of readers' favorite Canadian books, featured James Sherrett's book Up in Ontario(over there in the blogroll), so kudos to him, whatever kudos are. I hope they're chewy and taste like peanut butter fudge dipped in chocolate, but probably it's just a euphemism for a boring plaque and an arrangement of silk flowers or something.

In any case, the editor in charge may have many good points. He/She/It may be a great humanitarian, kind to the elderly, charitable, hospitable, and good with children and animals.

I. Don't. Give. A. Rat's. Ass.

I want the editor disciplined. I want the editor publicly named and shamed. I want the editor to be forced to cover Groundhog Day from Wiarton next year. I want the editor to be compelled at hockeystick-point to read all of Pierre Berton's interminable late-career mumblings. Read through this and see if you can't spot the wee little problem I have with this clueless fucking foreigner:

http://blogs.guardian.co.uk/culturevulture/archives/2006/03/21/whither_canada.html

Whither Canada
By Richard Lea/World literature tour

Thanks to you all, the world literature tour is going from strength to strength. After Finland and Poland came the Czech Republic, where alongside the Kundera and the Klima there were recommendations for Bohumil Hrabal, poems by Jaroslav Seifert, plays by Karel Capek and many, many more. There was even time for some strong words on the exclusion of Kafka
Richard was not alone in wanting to "take issue" with the decision,
complaining that we'd become confused between country and language.
Many thanks for all your contributions.

This month we can confidently predict there will be no
such confusion, as with one great leap the world literature tour
crosses the ocean and heads for Canada. Beating off strong challenges from India and Japan, we are heading for the frozen north. With suggestions ranging from Sweden to St Lucia the nominations took an increasingly personal note, with Babak voting for the country of "Tom Stoppard" and a number of anti-Atwood
protests. So much so that I'd like to declare an Atwood amnesty here
and now – any and all of your Atwood suggestions will be gratefully
received.

And don't forget to keep your nominations for next
month's destination coming – after a month up by the Arctic circle
would you all mind if I suggested a little sunshine? Unless there's
anyone else who feels like heading for Stoppard country out there …

Vermont Maple Leaves

Photograph: Toby Talbot/AP

caption: Sweet dreams…Maple leaves in Vermont

Search Me: Gay pirate Kiwa Hirsuta and transvestite terrier spanking Clay Aiken and Ian McKellen in Narnia Porn watched by Nobel Laureates and the Starbucks Fatman Edition

Well, it's just odd is all. PervSomeone has gone and listed me on a sex chat aggregator.

Welcome Pervs!

I do feel guilty, knowing that someone is out there, looking for the bone-eating snotflower and I deleted the link. Awwwwwwwww. I feel something else entirely knowing that someone is out there looking for Narnia Porn and they think they'll find it on this blog. Ewwwwwwwwwwwww. Mango Porn? I luv me some juicy mango action as much as the next chick, but doesn't it sting when it gets…places? You never see any lemonade porn, do ya? But I think I am becoming obsessed with this Fatman at Starbucks. Who can this be? Was there an obesity-related incident at Starbucks that made the news and I somehow didn't see it on Fark? Maybe somebody took their venti breve mocha into the bathroom, drank it, and then couldn't get out of the stall because his ass was too wide? It would make sense; do you know how many calories are in that thing?

nondairy CreamerWhen I worked at Starbucks we had one regular customer @ East Hastings. He always used to get regular milk lattes, but one day he switched and asked for non-dairy creamer instead of milk for his drink. Now, that was back in the days before God invented soybeans, or at least before the Asians were desperate enough to try to milk the wee buggers, so there was no soy milk. There was milk, there was cream, and there was non-dairy creamer. The ingredients list on most of those things reads like most of the alphabet except the vowels, interrupted for a "red lake #42" now and again, for the sake of liveliness I guess. They were made from oil products, and they were virtually 100% trans-fatty acids. It was essentially like drinking plaster for your arteries, but since most people only used a teaspoon or two, it wasn't a problem really.

Not this guy.

Now, the customer is not always right, but the customer generally knows what he wants, so we gave it to him. He didn't give off clueless vibes, so we figured there was a reason. One day we were chatting, and since I'm a nosy old bitch, I decided to ask him why he'd switched. "Oh," he says, "My doctor put me on a strict low-cholesteral, low-fat diet."

GACK. And Gack again!

It reminds me of the neurasthenic Woody Allen character who came into West Fourth one evening. She had the long frizzy hair, she had the trailing, patchouli-scented scarves, she had the pointer finger silver unicorn ring. And she asked for a "non-dairy, non-fat, no-egg eggnog latte. Decaf" Swear to god, "Decaf."

And I stared at her.

After a couple of minutes of watching me not get the notte, she asked me why I wasn't getting her the drink she had ordered.

"Because God didn't mean for that to exist."

Tables comin' up!

Table See?

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HIS FIRST TIME 1

Yesterday

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Pablo Neruda 5
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Sandford Tuey 2
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"gay pirate" 1
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silly walk 1
raincoaster's real name 1
cocaine corner 1
announcement of Bonus 1
big fatman starbucks 1
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clay aiken webcam 1

table2006-03-24

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"aki beam" 4
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sylvia lim bio 1
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his first time 1
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2006-03-23

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vancouver porno 1
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canada 1
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2006-03-22

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colin thatcher applies for parole 2
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John Paulus 1
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gay kilt sex 1
cocaine corner 1

2006-03-21

Search Views
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what kind of beavers live in canada 2
hogwarts porn 2
Patrick Deuel 1
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Villain Supply website 1
"charlie sheen" and "pentagon" 1
ian-tracey 1
mango porno 1
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transvestite japanese schoolgirls 1

table2006-03-20

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"General Jackson" tugboat 2
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irish heather blog 1
good metaphors 1
"Shebeen Club" 1
Wuthering Heights screencaps 1

 

Tables out!

The Banality of Evil vs The Inevitability of the Acceptance of Evil

re-posted from the old blog, but well worth looking over again.

Excerpted from Vanity Fair, March 1991

The Years of Living Dangerously
a profile of Ryszard Kapuscinski by Stephen Schiff

"I want to tell you now something," he says quietly. "You know, like
every Polish writer I was censored, for forty years. The most
difficult result of censorship is self-censorship
, because it changes
your way of thinking, and it's completely unconscious after a time.
All of us after the Communists, we all have to fight this, and I am
fighting all the time. But the reason I am saying this here, in this
place [the former Warsaw Ghetto]: you know, Hannah Arendt in her book
about Eichmann trial, Eichmann in Jerusalem, she was unable to
understand why the Jews were going so passively to their death – why
the Holocaust was possible, why there was no resistance. But I
understand it, because I was there and I saw the thing. And I have an
answer that I would say to Hannah Arendt.

"There was nothing strange in the behaviour of those people. It was
natural. Because if you don't see any hope, you are very passive. I'm
not speaking of individuals. You always find a hero willing to fight
against everybody. But the masses, if you put them in a situation of
extreme hardship, they beome very passive. Lack of hope paralyzes
their will, paralyzes their brain, paralyzes their movement. That's
why people who are really in a famine, who have real hunger, do
nothing. They are waiting for death, unable to move. If you went to
the market in Ethiopia during the famine, you would see that the
market is full of food. And around the market, you have people dying
of hunger. So your first reaction is to ask yourself why these people
don't just attack the market dealers – the food is right there. Plenty
of food. Their lives are at stake. But if you ask that, you are like
Hannah Arendt and you don't understand what it means to be in a
situation of complete desperation with no way out. It makes you
paralyzed."

But wait a minute, I say. You of all people have witnessed the
opposite. You've been there when a change, a revolution, becomes
possible. He smiles. "Yes, you're right," he says. "When a revolution
comes, it is at the very moment when there is some improvement. But
improvement is too slow, too limited – that's when people revolt. But
first they have to be set in some motion. If you are in a motionless
situation, you will never revolt."

He seems to be formulating a kind of Newtonian physics of revolution.
Laws of political inertia, political velocity. The very thing that
happened in Eastern Europe in 1989, that happened in South Africa in
1990, that continues in the Soviet Union even now. A body at rest will
remain at rest. And a body in motion…

"It's true," he says. "I was not in Pinsk at the time, but I know
people who witnessed the liquidation of the ghetto in Pinsk. At that
time there were some 30,000 people in the ghetto of Pinsk. And when
the moment of the Final Solution came, they were sent through the
town, in columns. Rabbis marched at the head of each column. And in
columns – one huge, huge column – they walked to the place which is
about ten kilometers outside of town, in a small forest. There were
mass graves dug there, long graves, and on the opposite side of every
grave was a Nazi soldier with a machine gun. And the Jewish people of
Pinsk were taken to the verge of the grave and were shot. One row fell
in the grave, and the next row came, was shot, fell down, and the next
row, shot, fell down – in silence. All in silence.

"The machine gun in World War II was still a very heavy instrument,
and those soldiers became, after some minutes, very tired. So they
asked the Jews to stop so the soldiers could rest and smoke a
cigarette. Then the soldiers would be sitting on the dirt piles of the
gave, smoking cigarettes and taking a rest. After resting for some
time, they picked up their machine guns, and they asked the rabbis to
walk again, and again they continued to shoot. There were eyewitnesses
to this, because some people survived. So Hannah Arendt couldn't
understand it, but it is understandable.
If you are in Pinsk, and you
are already so desperately run-down – no food, sick, hopeless, no way
to escape – you will just follow the orders of your religious leaders.
You will march in columns. You will wait while they smoke. You will go
to your death."

Operation Global Media Domination: weekend operating procedures

TIAFYI for anyone out there who is going to check the blog over the weekend; there probably won’t be much added here. Not only do I normally try to take the weekend off , but WordPress isn’t working in Internet Explorer right now okay, all fixed now. As well, an old friend is in town and I hope to be away from the keyboard, doing fun things.

There are 150+ entries here you can scroll through or just play with the tags to find everything you ever wanted to know about Giant Squid, Curling, or Aki Beam.