Some days it’s not worth chewing through the straps

Boris in Chains

It appears there are some people who are having an even worse week than me, and I've just been given my ninth (or is it tenth) eviction notice from the Co-op. They're not being very cooperative, I must say. But enough about my week.

As I said, looks like some people are having an even shittier week than me although it is certainly true that if the gutter press were as guttacious as they've been made out to be they'd be camped out on the front lawn oh yeah, they don't have those things in Islington, the front uh stoop? begging for a quote from the children and bribing the household pets with bacon bits.

It is therefore in the spirit of taking up arms against weeks which are both shitaceous and whoreanus that I present the following mindless Internet game. It should cheer at least one person up to know that Boris Johnson has attained the rarified altitudes inhabited by the seraphim and Kevin Bacon and gotten his own game. So to speak. The associated t-shirts are pure graphic gold, icons of both t-ness and shirt-ness that should be copied for generations hence. The Ice Cream of Truth is a symbol that all but the lactose-intolerant can support (and they shouldn't have any rights anyway) and the sound effects are pure sweetness. Ladies and gentlemen:

Big Ben Boris

Vote Boris! Just because you can't

and sometimes you don’t WANT to know

TIASearches that led people to my blog yesterday:

curling porn, "And with strange aeons death may die, " viggo mortensen porn, cocaine corner, wendy messner cbc, hooker story, red corvette middle age

Supah. So somewhere out there are several people with unslaked curling fetishes, some random Cthulhu cultists, and many, many sexually deprived, desperate middle-aged keyboard jockeys.

But…Wendy Messner????? Now THAT is kinky.

Geoffrey Chaucer hath a flamewar!

Chaucer Gower Flamewar Geoffrey Chaucer hath a flamewar as if you couldn't read the headline.

The boy knows how to get hits: I, myself, picked up a stalker on Perez Hilton's site this week and gained an extra 25% overnight!

On the other hand, fighting with dead people surely can't be as useful as live ones.

Everyone knows zombies don't use the Internet!

They're total Playstation whores!

Here is Gower's arrow; judge for yourselves if it hath drawn blude.

Myn Gentil Gefroi:
Ich am muchel wrothe at thy japes and hostyl wordes, yow seem overe eager to maken me seem a smale and pityeful man.
Whatte hath Ich wroght to maken mine self so displeysing to yow?
Johannes Gowere
ps. my liverie is bettere and ich do notte share it so freelye to harvest the gold of compleat strangeres.

O, pleye the martyr, Mayster Gower. 

May the beste manne winne!

The Latest in Waiting Room Prozac

For those who wish a little light reading before drifting off to dream of Rome…  

Roman Lifestyles

Jingoastic!

From Worth1000.com's weekly photoshopping contest. Cuz we haven't had any Canadian jingoism for about ten thousand words on this blog, and that's just too damn long to go without, eh.Canada on the Moon