the face of cheese

In the annals (yes, there are two N’s in that, even if you’re discussing celebritybuttplugs.com) of celebrity endorsements, there are many cautionary tales. Think “Babe for Baco’s!” Think “Michael Jackson for Match.com.” We may be looking at the latest victim of bad synergy.
Say hello to the face of stinky cheese:

Cat Deely

That’s Cat Deeley. Don’t worry if you’ve never heard of her: she’s a British celebrity. Nobody expects you to have heard of her. Well, at least she WILL be the face of cheese, if the Stilton Perfume people have their way.

Yes, I said Stilton Perfume.

Nigel White, of the SCA, brushed off suggestions that it might not be the most alluring of scents.

“Blue Stilton cheese has a very distinctive, mellow aroma and our perfumier was able to capture the key essence of that scent and recreate it in what is an unusual but highly wearable perfume,” he said.

“While we don’t have quite as generous a budget as some of her other endorsements, we would love Miss Deeley to be the face of Eau de Stilton and look forward to hearing what she thinks of the scent.”

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random morbidity

Haditha

Why is it that when it’s the government that executes someone,
it is never described as “execution-style?”

Stars and Stripes

But it is called the Executive Branch.

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you say tomato, I say tomahto; you say botox, I say botulinum toxin type A

Botox, yo

A doctor in Las Vegas has been arrested for injecting into the faces of his unsuspecting patients a derivative of the deadly botulism toxin.

He has admitted injecting the patients, who came for Botox treatments, with paralyzing shots of botulinum toxin type A instead of the Botox for which they had paid. Sounds like a pretty open-and-shut case, eh?

Except for one thing: Botox is botulinum toxin type A.

It’s just the trademarked version, the brand name version. It is the same exact substance.

So what this case comes down to is, they paid for the paralytic facial neurotoxin version of Louis Vuitton and instead got the paralytic facial neurotoxin Louis Vutton. How embarrassing, to have a knockoff face!

I cynically predict it will not go to court when the patients realize their names will be part of the public record. Charges dropped in exchange for free treatments, you’ll see. Hey, counterfeit youth is addictive, as John Wyndham knew.

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white and nerdy, in lego, yo!

Yo, yo! Y’all aren’t gonna b’leev this, up frum tha street:

For context, please see Weird Al’s White and Nerdy (backup dancing by Donny Osmond).

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Transformers Mister Potatohead: Optimash Prime

Ten bucks? How is this not sold out yet? Why, it’s almost as clever as Darth Tater!

Optimash Prime

 

He’s modeled more on the 80’s cartoon Optimus than the version we’ll see in theaters soon — and yes, we’re going, even if Michael Bay is a no-talent clown — and he even comes with a mini semi-truck, just in case you forgot what he looks like when he’s not, you know, a potato.

From Uncrate, via the unexpectedly rich vein of commenter gold on Defamer.

 

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