Daniel Radcliffe’s Peter Joins Penis Protection Program

For several months now, all the world, or at least, all the world that can afford New York theatre tickets, has been eagerly looking forward to the Broadway debut of Harry Potter’s wand. We at the ol’ raincoaster blog have not failed to cover the blow-by-blow as Daniel Radcliffe and his Nethers of Strange Hirsutity have triumphed in London in Peter Schaffer‘s intense psychodrama Equus, but as the day approaches when all (and we do mean ALL) will be revealed to the notoriously insatiable, cellphone-camera-equipped American audiences, Radcliffe‘s handlers are getting nervous. They fear his peen may fall into the wrong, presumably sweaty, hands.

Says the star, on the possibility of his privates being made public via a quickie Flickr: “It will be amazing but I will be terrified!” And no doubt so will some of the more shrinking violets in the audience, from what we hear!

Just how amazing it will be, fans who cannot affort the high price to share his physical presence may never know. His handlers have taken every precaution to prevent leaks, going so far as to equip the theatre with infra-red defenses, like in that capoeria laser dance scene in Ocean’s Twelve, you know the one, to sniff out and, presumably, stun or even vaporize overzealous cellphotogs. Who knows?

Cool.

His personal security has been increased as well, and let me tell you, these people do not mess around.

Daniel Radcliffe and his peen protector

Image sources: Uli Weber, Hollywood Standups, hat-tip With-Malice

article hat-tip to dissfunktional

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Pulp Fiction, by William Shakespeare

Jules and Vincent. Shakesperean names if ever I heard them

Okay, so now we’re up to (I think) five worthwhile things on LiveJournal. This just might be the greatest of them all: nothing less than Quentin Tarantino‘s genre-busting post-intellectual masterpiece Pulp Fictionas the Bardhimself would have written it.

And he would have, you know. Everybody knows what playwrights will do for money.

From Metaquotes:

ACT I SCENE 2. A road, morning. Enter a carriage, with JULES and VINCENT, murderers.

J: And know’st thou what the French name cottage pie?
V: Say they not cottage pie, in their own tongue?
J: But nay, their tongues, for speech and taste alike
Are strange to ours, with their own history:
Gaul knoweth not a cottage from a house.
V: What say they then, pray?
J: Hachis Parmentier.
V: Hachis Parmentier! What name they cream?
J: Cream is but cream, only they say le crème.
V: What do they name black pudding?
J: I know not;
I visited no inn it could be bought.

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Disney Princes Revealed!

cross-posted from my parenting blog.
Yes, this is what I put on my mommyblog.
eteraz should just tell everyone he looks like Aladdin;
Islamic relations would take a giant leap forward.

Here’s a little something to sustain the grownup in you through the umpteenth viewing of The Little Mermaid, Pocahontas, or Insert-Kid-Fave-Disney-Flick.

Remember that tip to help nervous people relax and enjoy public speaking? The one where you’re supposed to imagine the audience in their underwear? Well, it works pretty well for Disneyfilms, too, as you will see.

Say why, hello there to Aladdin:

Aladdin

And John Smith from Pocahontas:

John Smith from Pocahontas

both from the extensive gallery of Disney Princes baring it like Beckham
from David Kawena and posted at Zona Erogena
Site is NOT. SAFE. FOR. WORK. (or heterosexual males)

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Spoiler Alert!

Run DMZ: rumble on the 38th parallel!

Somebody needs to turn the Israelis and Palestinians onto this before it’s too late. A new paradigm for conflict is demonstrated here by the forces of North and South Korea in an underreported, yet epic scuffle in the Demilitarized Zone.

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