Riiiiiiiiiight, you’re thinking. But it’s true: Toronto, capital of Ontario and of banality, is host to a professional reptile hunter, and yet he hasn’t even touched the ones in Bay Street.
Let’s enter the squamous, deadly world of Josh Feltham, Canadian Cobra Hunter. Crikey, Steve Irwin would be so proud.
Aside from a few sightings more than three months ago, the deadly scaled fugitive has vanished without a trace.The hunt for the venomous snake has shut down the rooming house, sent its five tenants packing and left the landlord, Philip Belanger, $20,000 poorer from lost rent and damage. Belanger says he’s heard estimates that the City of Toronto has spent $100,000 in its bid to find the snake, calling in the police, fire department, paramedics and experts from the Toronto Zoo and Animal Services. The city will not confirm any figure.
“The thing about snakes is they’ve evolved to be elusive,” Josh Feltham, a reptile expert, says. “If I was that snake I’d be having a great time in that house. There’s food around. It can explore. What more do you need … A female maybe…”
Think like a snake; there’s your first step. Politicians and bankers looking for alternative career choices are perfectly adapted for this option, and we should all do our best to encourage them to become cobra hunters. Let’s start with Stephen Harper, shall we?
del.icio.us: Cobra Hunter Toronto!
blinklist: Cobra Hunter Toronto!
Digg it: Cobra Hunter Toronto!
ma.gnolia: Cobra Hunter Toronto!
Stumble it: Cobra Hunter Toronto!
simpy: Cobra Hunter Toronto!
newsvine: Cobra Hunter Toronto!
reddit: Cobra Hunter Toronto!
fark: Cobra Hunter Toronto!
Technorati me!
Citizens in Riga, the capital of Latvia reported that a “wild boar” (a very bristly, scrawny, runty-looking kinda pig) had escaped from its pen, that’s how wild it was, it lived in a pen – I guess it’s wild the way Christopher Hitchens is Jewish – and was marauding through the Lavian countryside and even cityside, trotting happily through back lanes, parking illegally, scaring lapdogs, and poking its snout into people’s yards.
raincoaster 