Are you old enough to remember back in the days of Pet Rocks, when the biggest act in the world was the Osmonds and everyone and his dad (literally) collected Bonsai Kittens? Ah, those were the days (of Naugahyde and ponchos).
Sadly, after a brief but ubiquitous burst of popularity, the flame of the Bonsai Kitten‘s fame flickered and died, having only a brief revival once the Web had been invented and they could suddenly do mail order. Since then, they’ve been relegated to the back rooms of curiosity shops and the less reputable kitten mills of remote Mongolia.
Isn’t that fantastic? Instead of growing Bonsai Kittens the old way, by hand, you can now purchase one of the specially bred kittehs who will auto-bonsai when presented with the proper receptacle.
No more this:
Bonsai Kitteh does not want to bonsai
And we stumble gaily towards a world where everything, even our Bonsai Kittehs, are automatic.
Somebody get me Wikileaks…this story is too big to be contained.
We have consistently attempted to warn an oblivious world to the danger posed by those fanged and clawed trembly naked mole rats known as Chihuahuas, and has it listened?
Long have we shouted into the insatiable, oblivious void, warning of the dangers of those tiny, trembling, fanged and clawed homunculi known as Chihuahuas. And have you listened? Hellz no you have not; you persist in toting these hideous, incontinent fetal aliens in handbags and amusingly-McMansion-shaped wheelie bins everywhere you go.
[aside: while I was writing this, Zemanta came up with some Related Articles and they included something I could have sworn said “cooking and features of a Blue Chihuahua” but alas it was “coloring” instead. Imagine my disappointment. Also, capitalizing adjectives and nouns? Isn’t that German? Are these loathesome creatures the spawn of some unthinkable Nazi experiment? It would explain a lot, that’s all I’m saying. Also, apparently cooking Chihuahuas is A Thing:
CORRECTION: The first ingredient in the 4/30 Quesadillas recipe should have read “1 cup shredded Mexican Cheddar, Monterey Jack, Pepper Jack, or brick cheese.” Somehow, an auto spell-check changed cheddar to Chihuahua. We apologize for the error and hope that no Chihuahuas were harmed due to the error.
] yes I had to end the […] because I’m meticulous like that.
But now we have reports, many reports, coming in. You will not listen to reason, but might you listen to evidence? Just maybe?
From the comments on Gawker:
Good Girl Gone Bad @raincoaster
Actually scientists did some DNA analysis that showed chihuahuas are descended from an entirely different type of canine than all of the other breeds of dogs. They can interbreed with other breeds of dogs only because most species of canine can interbreed (like wolves and dogs(
So actually you are right
P.S. I have a supercrush on you.
Obviously a person of vast intelligence and exquisite taste. This was in the comments added to an article about how a thief stole it out of a car along with a laptop but returned the Naked Mole Rat “Dog” in the back seat, because even criminals deserve better company.
CHIHUAHUAS and pomeranians are on the list of Queenland”s 100 most menacing dogs.
They might stand less than 30cm tall, but the small pets have now officially been declared menacing creatures by authorities, under controversial new state laws aimed at slowing the state’s rising number of dog attacks.
More than a year after the laws were introduced, only 110 dogs have been declared menacing in Queensland, but authorities predict that will soar as awareness of the new laws spreads.
Shelter workers at an SPCA on B.C.’s Sunshine Coast have taken an injured poodle under their wing after the canine was dropped onto the grounds of a care home by a large bird of prey.
The six-year-old poodle, dubbed “Miracle May” by workers, fell from the sky onto the Shorncliff Nursing Home in Sechelt on May 2.
FOR ASLAN AND FOR NARNIA and also for cheap comedy
In case your grey, humdrum world is entirely bereft of joy and sunshine, here are 50 photos of basset hounds running to brighten your meaningless, pathetic existence. We strongly suggest you shout the above line at the top of your lungs when viewing each image. This will provide both an endorphin rush and needed oxygenation. (h/t SeanCranbury)
If that alone cannot shock you out of your black fog of existential despair, we suggest reading the following gossip links and laughing out loud at the thought that all of these ridonkulous losers are paid far more than you ever will be.
raincoaster 