the jihadi manual of the War On Christmas

via Jesus’ General, who is outraged to find himself nominated for a Weblog Award in the “Best Liberal Blog” category. Outrage! They will soon see the error of their ways and reinstate him in the Conservative category, as befits such a manly heteropublican warrior in the fight against Democrats and all they stand for. Like democracy.

In any case, the blogosphere and Fox news are abuzz over this War On Christmas. Captained by a shadowy cabal of nameless lefties, the War On Christmas seeks to eliminate as non-PC this glorious Christian celebration. Well it seems that the evil jihadi masterminds have decided to capitalize on their notoriety by issuing this book on Lulu.com, thus revealing their nefarious scheme to the entire world. Let’s just take a look then, shall we?

The War On Christmas cover page

The nefarity! The outrageous daring of these secular liberals! Whodathunk Woody Allen, Keith Olbermann et al would be so confrontational? Their shrinks musta put them up to it!

War Against Christmas manifesto

All nefarious lefty plots have a manifesto. It’s the only tradition they’ve ever known.

a sample plot!

Ah, Bob Marley. I knew there would be drugs involved somehow. There always are with these lefties!

Bill O’Reilly, our hopes and dreams rest on your broad shoulders.

del.icio.us: the jihadi manual of the War On Christmas
blinklist: the jihadi manual of the War On Christmas
furl: the jihadi manual of the War On Christmas
Digg it: the jihadi manual of the War On Christmas
ma.gnolia: the jihadi manual of the War On Christmas
Stumble it: the jihadi manual of the War On Christmas
simpy: the jihadi manual of the War On Christmas
newsvine: the jihadi manual of the War On Christmas
reddit: the jihadi manual of the War On Christmas
fark: the jihadi manual of the War On Christmas
Technorati me!

1812: the rematch online

True Patriot Love... 

It’s that special time of year, the time we all look forward to, the time when wishes come true.

The time when we get to lord it over Americans.

The time when Yahoo releases its top searches for each country. Le voila!

 Canadian Searches

  1. NHL Canadian, obviously
  2. FIFA World Cup International, obviously. And we even know what the game is called!
  3. American Idol Yank wannabe celebrity wank
  4. Rock Star Supernova ditto Canadian rock star reality show
  5. WWE I have no idea what this is and if I did, I’d pretend I didn’t: it just sounds tacky. Everything with two W’s in the acronym sounds like something Joe Weider was involved in, and that just reeks of klass-with-a-kapital-k. Even if he was from Montreal.
  6. Neopets Wholesome kid’s site
  7. Revenue Canada Canuckistani bagmen who give us homework
  8. Days of Our Lives Yank soap opera. But it does take place on the Great Lakes, which is as good as on the border. The characters are all dull and hence, closet Canadians.
  9. Environment Canada Canuckistan is way green, y’all
  10. Jessica Simpson Even Canadians like to watch synthetic Barbies in tight dresses, it seems. At least this one can sing, more or less.

U.S. Searches

  1. Britney Spears Twatflasher
  2. WWE see Canadian list
  3. Shakira Columbian hottie singer/dancer of some talent
  4. Jessica Simpson Overly-produced, silicone and restylane enhanced singer/actress of moderate talent, known for taking it up the butt from Johnny Knoxville
  5. Paris Hilton Twatflasher, porn star, celebutard
  6. American Idol See Canadian list
  7. Beyoncé Knowles former Destiny’s Child, sleeping with Jay-Z
  8. Chris Brown who?
  9. Pamela Anderson Canadian actress, porn tape star, serial large-penis marrying tabloid dream
  10. Lindsay Lohan Started the Twatflashing vogue.

Next year, anyone want to bet the #1 will be “Beaver shots?” Canada wins either way.

Karla upskirt shots any day now

quiz: which wife of Henry VIII are you?

Yes, I’m being very lazy, aren’t I? Hardly writing any of my own material and pretty much politics-free. Guess I’ve been scratching the political itch over at the new Bojo Forum, but wait; I’m sure there will be something coming soon. I mean, I should probably say something about the new leader of the Liberal Party of Canada, but that would presume I knew something about Stephane Dion, the new leader of the Liberal Party of Canada, which of course I do not. All that I know about him is he is not Michael Ignatieff, for which the nation is, I’m sure, very grateful.

Now to the quiz…with bonus before-and-after Katherine Howard pix! Ah, if they’d had Botox and Restylane back then, she’d have kept her pretty head! In fact, it probably still wouldn’t have decomposed!

Before:

Katherine Howard, before

and After:

After

Which wife of Henry the Eighth are you?

Your Result: Anne Boleyn

42%

You are Anne Boleyn, second, and most famous, wife of Henry. You are fiery, smart, confident, and witty. Though not notorious for your beauty, you have a prescience that sticks out in people’s minds. You will stop at nothing to get what you want. Keep in mind, though, when you get it, you have to know how to keep it.

Katherine of Aragon

32%

Catherine Parr

22%

Kathrine Howard

20%

Jane Seymour

6%

Anne of Cleves

0%

Which wife of Henry the Eighth are you?
Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

quiz: how English are you?

Not very, it seems. Don’t tell Guido; if word gets out, he’ll never hire me! And for the love of God don’t tell Steven L: he’ll probably stick me in Gitmo “just in case.”

You are 66% English.

Getting there. You may wish to pay attention to the world around you.

“And did those feet
In ancient times,
Walk upon England’s mountains green?
And was the holy Lamb of God
In England’s pleasant pastures seen?”

Well, no, but it’s a cracking good tune.

How English are you?
Create a Quiz

del.icio.us: quiz How English Are You?
blinklist: quiz How English Are You?
furl: quiz How English Are You?
Digg it: quiz How English Are You?
ma.gnolia: quiz How English Are You?
Stumble it: quiz How English Are You?
simpy: quiz How English Are You?
newsvine: quiz How English Are You?
reddit: quiz How English Are You?
fark: quiz How English Are You?
Technorati me!

quiz: how much do you want the terrorists to win

Yeah, baby! Another predictable result. Do you get the feeling I just don’t post quizzes that don’t support my self-image? That’d be a big Well Duh! Any quiz that says “45% of people got this result” is automatically off my list. I am so NOT about the near-majority opinion.

Stole this from Pharyngula, btw.

Your ‘Do You Want the Terrorists to Win’ Score: 98%

 

 

You are a terrorist-loving, Bush-bashing, “blame America first”-crowd traitor. You are in league with evil-doers who hate our freedoms. By all counts you are a liberal, and as such cleary desire the terrorists to succeed and impose their harsh theocratic restrictions on us all. You are fit to be hung for treason! Luckily George Bush is tapping your internet connection and is now aware of your thought-crime. Have a nice day…. in Guantanamo!

Do You Want the Terrorists to Win?
Quiz Created on GoToQuiz