China After the Earthquake: Fascism, Spin, Gullibility and Blame

Chinese earthquake victims' funeral urns

Well, that didn’t take long, did it?

In the wake of the newest reports setting the death toll from the Chinese earthquake north of 50,000, the government response of 50,000 troops, which was initially hailed as a superb example of the actions of a government in complete control of its situation, is looking a little less adequite.

It takes two soldiers to carry one body.

May 14, The Guardian:

Authorities coping with disaster without need for outside help

Duncan Campbell

Initial indications are that the Chinese feel they have sufficient resources and experience to deal with the earthquake’s aftermath, although aid organisations and foreign governments have offered help, both financially and in terms of expertise…

Among international agencies and governments, the general feeling that seems to be emerging is that China has the infrastructure, the personnel, the resources and the experience to deal with the crisis without significant outside help. Whereas it was immediately clear that Burma would not be able to cope with the scale of their disaster on their own, China, with its vast army and its previous knowledge of severe earthquakes, presented a very different picture.

May 17th, The Guardian:

Beijing open to foreign aid and scrutiny in wake of tragedy

Julian Borger

For the first time, Beijing has accepted aid from abroad and invited rescue teams from Japan, Russia, South Korea, Singapore and even Taiwanese charities. US offers of direct assistance were declined but China’s embassy in Washington encouraged Americans to send cash and supplies, a distinct break with the past.

May 21st, The Guardian:

China dissident held ‘for criticising quake response

Jonathan Watts

Chinese police have detained a political dissident because of remarks he made about the government’s handling of the Sichuan earthquake, according to his family and supporters.

Guo Quan, the founder of the China Democracy party, was seized outside his home by seven or eight police officers four days ago. They searched his house and confiscated his computer.

“They waited outside and caught him as he was taking our child to school,” said his wife Li Jing…

In the past week, he is said to have raised questions about the emergency services’ response to the quake and the safety of nuclear facilities in Sichuan. Fellow members of his small party believe his detention is connected to last week’s disaster.

Well then, I think we can all understand why Duncan Campbell was being so boosterish, can’t we? That must be pretty strong Kool-Aid they have in China, I’m thinking, except that … Duncan Campbell is actually in the UK and Jonathan Watts is in Beijing.

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Do You Doubt I Am Rich?

Is this the greatest infomercial teaser of all time? Yes; yes, it may well be.

His name is takeittothebank and his game is putting the “ass” in “class.”

Have you ever wondered how the other half lives? Wonder no more. It lives like ME. Every morning I eat caviar even though I do not like caviar!!! Would I do this if I were not RICH!?!?! The fillings in my teeth are gold. Are the fillings in your teeth gold!?!? They are not. The caviar I do not want for breakfast I feed to my cat. What does your cat eat!?!? Cat food?!?! I pity your cat. Mine is the world you live in when you are RICH!!! CARS!!! WOMEN!!! STATUES!!! CAVIAR!!! Perhaps you are beginning to understand. If so, I welcome you. HELLO!!! Now let me ask you this: Do you know the pleasure of owning a tie made of genuine SILK!!! I do!!! Now let me ask you this: would I call myself “THE BANK” if I did not have lots of money? I would not. That would be ridiculous!!! But I am not ridiculous. I am RICH!!! I will ask you one last time: DO YOU DOUBT I AM RICH!?!?!

This is like Donald Trump‘s long-lost Desi twin.

From the whoreanus outfit and grooming to the chubby, inert harem, to the amateur porn-worthy direction, not to mention the maniacal, self-deluded laugh, this could well be the greatest, most inspirational infomercial of all time, greater than the great Aleksey Vayner’s Impossible Is Nothing, even if it ISN’T an infomercial. It appears to be a YouTube channel. I wonder why he hasn’t signed on in a year…must be out being rich somewhere, right? Monte Carlo? Goa? Paris? Dubai?

Atlantic City?

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The Definitive Act of the Twenty-First Century

For Realz.

And that is: notquoting Tionna Smalls.” Although that’s a close runner-up. No; no indeed, the definitive act of the Twenty-First Century is, naturally, something that first surfaced on YouTube. Because you, the reader, are so finely attuned to nuance and Zeitgeist and other foreign-sounding words, you are reading it here before it registers on the consciousness of the tastemakers at Gawker Media, the Times, or CBC. Ahead of the curve, in front of the pack, on the top of the heap, and (perhaps?) good for loaning me twenty bucks till the end of the month?

Yes, that is the raincoaster blog devotee!

And just for you we present the following video, another Brian Atene monologue, but this one may be somewhat familiar in parts, if you’ve survived high school English. I had all of the great “To be or not to be” speech memorized by the time I was ten because it was on the cover of my best friend’s mother’s cookie tin and it would always take her ten or fifteen minutes to talk her mom into letting us get at the Peek Freans, so I had plenty of time to go over the lines. I used to recite them to her poodle when I was pet-sitting, just to discombobulate it.

It was a nasty little dog, and I’m a bitch. What can I say?

So here it is, the video containing the plan for the definitive act of the twenty-first century. And what might that act be, you wonder? Well, I’ll tell you. But I’ll tell you over the jump, because I’m like that.

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Continue reading

Obama demands change: video

What Obama wants, Obama gets:

FYI normal blogging will return shortly, now that lolebrity.net is up and running and domain-name-pimped out.

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Surfwise, Livedumb

I’ve been waiting for this to hit YouTube: the trailer for a documentary of an archetypal American character, the freewheeling intellectual.

As a somewhat freewheeling intellectual myself, I feel no hesitation at saying that Dorian “Doc” Paskowitz was a completely self-centered man who confused hedonism with enlightenment and whose pathalogical need to be “different” rendered him incapable of being free. The most humbling truth apparent in this biographical film is this: that voluntary subjugation to the tyranny of doctrinaire antiestablishmentarianism should not be mistaken for intellectual triumph or self-determinism. It is fascism.

Now, enjoy your surf movie! Hippies in a bus = good times!

Right?

Here is the much prettier official statement:

Like many American outsider-adventurers, Dorian “Doc” Paskowitz set out to realize a utopian dream. Abandoning a successful medical practice, he sought self-fulfillment by taking up the nomadic life of a surfer. But unlike other American searchers like Thoreau or Kerouac, Paskowitz took his wife and nine children along for the ride, all eleven of them living in a 24 foot camper. Together, they lived a life that would be unfathomable to most, but enviable to anyone who ever relinquished their dreams to a straight job. The Paskowitz Family proved that America may be running out of frontiers, but it hasn’t run out of frontiersman.