Category Archives: Sex

Pee Wee Herman keeps it real

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Cuz that’s how he rolls, yo.

Why the “Sex” tag? Listen to the lyrics, baby!

Operation Global Media Domination: the optimist

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TIAA big, hearty raincoaster welcome to the person who came to my blog, looking for “orgasm.”

What an optimist you must be.

If you find one, give me your number. You must be very talented with the keystrokes.

raincoaster herself has resorted to the Margaret Cho method of covering her posthole with leaves and hoping someone falls in.

Spock-Z

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The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins, Big Pimpin’!

Spock, we hardly knew ye!

forget the metal detector: where’s the intelligence detector

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Although I think in this case it might be superfluous. No point dragging the thing out when you already know it’s gonna register a big goose egg.

X-Ray vision, Laser Intelligence (pick one)

Guess how drunk this guy was…

Dankovic told mates that sword swallowing was easy and anyone could do it – they challenged him to prove it.

But he had to be rushed to the local hospital after swallowing a knife with an eight inch blade, eight nails, two spoons and a couple of clothes pegs to win the ten pound bet.

Ten pounds? What was that, win-all-you-can-eat? The scrap metal market has become entirely too competitive for my liking.

“My girlfriend has told me she hopes they got everything out, we are planning to fly on holiday next month and she doesn’t want me getting stopped by the airport metal detector.”

Isn’t that sweet? He’s found someone who will stand by him in times of trouble. Someone stupid enough to stand by him in times of completely devastating, meaningless trouble he brought upon himself in a drunken stupor.

Any chance the doctors performed a quick Malthusian snip while he was out? For the sake of the Serbian gene pool, let us hope so.

Boris sez unicorns are rad

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Defamer agrees. And so does this guy, with a little help from Boris Vallejo.

Boris Vallejo - 1991 - Unicorn

Boris Vallejo – 1991 – Unicorn

Hey, is that Posh Spice?

Now this is what I’m talking about. Nobody does amazon women and mythical creatures like Boris Vallejo. Look at the teeth, the fire, the pure unbridled passion. Why oh why does the Institute of Art in Chicago continue to ignore such masterpieces as this?

Does such a woman such as this truly exist? I recently took a voyage to the Amazon to find one of these scantily clad vixens, but ran out of luck. This photo here represent to me the true behavior of the unicorn. He’s mean, tempermental, and his nostrils breath fire. However, Soccer Moms such as the Unicorn Lady seem to push the agenda that all unicorns prefer sitting on grassy hiltops rather than warfare. I strongly dissagree. But, since I am a glutton for the one horned beast, I cannot say I do not enjoy the Unicorn Lady… we still share the same love. Please check out her site and share in her passion. Did you know the Unicorn Lady used to be a Principal’s secretary for a public school in San Diego?

I can see the unicorn screensaver on her computer right now, as the high school boys snicker at her as they pass by…

Note: unicorns are not cool enough to deserve the Squid Tag, Borises notwithstanding.