Who don’t luv a good, dirty pun, eh?
I’d like to thank all the little people…before they turn on me.
Also the Generator Blog, from whence I stole this Web-award generator. Hey, no sense in waiting for the grass to grow, eh? I thought I’d give all those web-awarders a helping hand. That’s right; raincoaster is always thinking of others. So put your feet up, guys. I’ve gotcha covered.
Meanwhile, in Operation Global Media Domination news, I am happy to report that I have cracked the top 89,000 on Technorati, out of about 45 million blogs, and only since the second-last day of February, when I started the blog. Mother would be so proud. Thanks are particularly due all those Brits who have mistaken me for one of themselves, and a True Patriot at that. Look, I hate Tony Blair as much as any of you, but I also have extremely mixed feelings. It’s…it’s complicated, okay??? Oh yeah, and somebody came to the blog looking for BoJo Porn; try the Times.
The posts most responsible for this rush to the cranial summit of the blogosphere are, of course, Beautiful Agony and 101 Bottles of diet coke, 523 mentos, and 2 mad scientists. Baby Eagles are still big in parts of Cyberia, and some poor, demented dude keeps hitting the blog every damn day looking for Charo porn and finding only a cool, Up With Queers music video. Speaking of gays, Ernest and Bertram went viral for a day or so, landing on a couple of forums across the ocean until the bandwidth got bustickated or whatever it is that happens to bandwidth; short form, E&B viral campaign snipped in the bud, dammit!!!
The latest potentially-viral stars are a couple of YouTubers: Chad Vader, Day Shift Manager, the sad tale of Darth‘s loserish brother’s humdrum life, and Paris Hilton stewing, nearly nekkid, in poop soup. Then there’s the Found Porn Slideshow, always a big hit with the Neanderthals.
The only serious post that’s showing any longevity is From Israel, With Love, the Update which is good as the MSM and much of the blogosphere including BoingBoing seems to have got the story substantially wrong, even after corrections.
So that’s all for this edition of Operation Global Media Domination, other than to say that going offline for a few days actually increased the hits. When I went on vacation, my “take it for granted” number of hits was 300. Now it’s 650.
I should take more vacations.
Thanks to Fark for that one.
The real story‘s far less interesting, which is sad because I wasted a half-hour of my life I’ll never see again gathering up all my bottles to take back for the deposit. I have almost enough.
All asides and italics here are from the original article.
(Quick aside: How creepy is the guy in the pic? And the girl looks a little too happy to be a in a gym setting.)
There’s a new fitness machine causing a stir in England, thanks in part to Madonna. The Power
Plate is a workout machine that consists of a vibrating platform you stand on and do light stretches and squats for 15 minutes, three times a week. Apparently there is something in the added vibration that stimulates the muscles and causes them to tire faster than a traditional workout, a chain reaction that Madonna claims causes her physique to remain toned. (Doesn’t she work out 8 hours a day? –Editors)
O how the mighty have fallen.
From: lorraine.siggins@yale.edu <lorraine.siggins@yale.edu> Reply-To: “lorraine.siggins@yale.edu”
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The Fuggers have done it again, documenting the cruel plight of my favorite scruffy-preppy actor next to Sam Waterston.
Poor William H Macy. Can’t you just read his mind?
WILLIAM H MACY: Save me. Someone save me.
BAI LING: I am soooooo comfortable here with William H Macy. I feel so safe. I feel so in love. I feel like I am wrapped in a giant ball of safe love. Love safe. Sove! Lafe!
WILLIAM H MACY: I fear I am about to start laughing inappropriately. The way you do at a funeral. Who wears a bikini top with a matching skirt, anyway? Although this isn’t bikini material. I don’t think. I don’t know. Felicity always wears a sensible one-piece…dress or swim suit, come to think of it. Oh my god, is she touching my butt?
BAI LING: Bai Ling Macy. Mr and Mrs William H Ling-Macy. Bai and Bill Macy-Ling. Ooh! Ooh! Personality Number Nine will LOVE being Bai Macy-Ling. That sounds like a new cut of panties!
WILLIAM H MACY: Felicity. I am so sorry. This means nothing. This crazy woman just attacked me. What was I supposed to do? I’m scared of her. She’s preternaturally strong.
BAI LING: I am so glad I decided to take this totally adorable polka dotty dress and make it into something that shows my middle section part! Look at Billiam H. Ling Macy-Ling rubbing my tummy!
WILLIAM H MACY: I am trying really hard not to touch any exposed skin.
BAI LING: I can’t wait until he leaves that lady who was the man-lady in that movie thing.
WILLIAM H MACY: How long am I supposed to stand here?
raincoaster 